Overcoming Fear v.3 - 5.75.7G - Ampers&d's Journal

[RTBoss]

I've had a number of experiences (as a youth) where I had stirred up a bee's/wasp's nest and got stung a bunch.
Now, anytime I have a buzz near my head, I involuntarily jolt back and get a shot of adrenaline.
Can't help it.

This used to be(e) me. 

My grandparents had a huge oak tree in their front yard.  I loved picking acorns from it.  One time, at dusk, I raised my hand to pick an acorn, and a yellow jacket wasp (that happened to be sitting on the acorn I was attempting to pick) attacked me.  It stung my palm and wrist, and then got wrapped up in my shirt sleeve - where it proceeded to sting me multiple times, as I swatted it, frantically.  

It all happened at a family birthday party, where the onlookers from inside of the house described how they saw me jumping up and down (I was getting stung, again and again).  There wasn't anything they could do to help me.

That fear persisted for years, until - as Shannon stated - I was able to stay still, wait, and let the offender - "with a stinger" - pass. Now, i find I'm not afraid of bees at all.

Furthermore - in relation to creepy-crawlies and/or fliers - I had multiple spiders traverse my skin (on my feet) as I treated lawn clover today. I was spraying it (the clover) with a combination of water/vinegar/dish soap to kill it w/out killing my lawn - and I noticed spiders (that live in the grass) were trying to escape harm. I felt nothing, as they either appeared, or traversed the skin on my feet.

[Ampersnd]

Day 6,

Sore and achy joints and my mind is a bit tired this morning. I ran 25 miles this week; my highest running mileage for this week, I think.

Work went smoothly but I noticed that when a colleague would press me on a deadline, or a phone call expressed discontent (not towards me), I did not feel fear, but I stumbled on my words.

I think that these moments showcased a deeper need for approval (or a fear of disapproval); it's almost as though I had built up an identity on top of my fear - like tile flooring in a kitchen - of which the first set of loops broke a chunk out, but now there are holes I can trip over and get my leg stuck in. It will be messy until the holes are large enough to dive through.

[Ampersnd]

Check *this* out: https://imgur.com/a/qzve0ea

If you don't like clicking on suspicious links, my forum thread got 1,337 number of views.

[RTBoss]

Check *this* out: https://imgur.com/a/qzve0ea

If you don't like clicking on suspicious links, my forum thread got 1,337 number of views.

What's really suspicious is how a new member, Qiel, has 113,000+ views, on his journal thread...

[Ampersnd]

Check *this* out: https://imgur.com/a/qzve0ea

If you don't like clicking on suspicious links, my forum thread got 1,337 number of views.

What's really suspicious is how a new member, Qiel, has 113,000+ views, on his journal thread...

Must be bots

[Ampersnd]

Day 7,

Noticed that a minor wall of separation between me and others has evaporated (with people I know).
Feels as though as could more comfortably make 'kino'. I don't do that because it's work.

[Jake2015]

Check *this* out: https://imgur.com/a/qzve0ea

If you don't like clicking on suspicious links, my forum thread got 1,337 number of views.

What's really suspicious is how a new member, Qiel, has 113,000+ views, on his journal thread...

the sub must really be working for him then lol wonder what else he can manifest 

[London1]

Check *this* out: https://imgur.com/a/qzve0ea

If you don't like clicking on suspicious links, my forum thread got 1,337 number of views.

What's really suspicious is how a new member, Qiel, has 113,000+ views, on his journal thread...

Whoah, how?

[Raykon]

I was wondering that too. Lol It seemed strange.

Check *this* out: https://imgur.com/a/qzve0ea

If you don't like clicking on suspicious links, my forum thread got 1,337 number of views.

What's really suspicious is how a new member, Qiel, has 113,000+ views, on his journal thread...

Whoah, how?

[Qiel]

When I read the old thread. Long ago there's a user called DisneyLandUSA and he got a lot of viewers too in his thread. Maybe it's because of the username, or else. What's the matter anyway. I hope it's not a bot, and lot of customer attracted to subliminal-shop.

Please continue your journey, Ampersnd. Apologize if the viewers topic derail your journal a little.

[Ampersnd]

When I read the old thread. Long ago there's a user called DisneyLandUSA and he got a lot of viewers too in his thread. Maybe it's because of the username, or else. What's the matter anyway. I hope it's not a bot, and lot of customer attracted to subliminal-shop.

Please continue your journey, Ampersnd. Apologize if the viewers topic derail your journal a little.

I'm yanking your chain, my friend.
Sarcasm doesn't carry over well over text.

[Jake2015]

When I read the old thread. Long ago there's a user called DisneyLandUSA and he got a lot of viewers too in his thread. Maybe it's because of the username, or else. What's the matter anyway. I hope it's not a bot, and lot of customer attracted to subliminal-shop.

Please continue your journey, Ampersnd. Apologize if the viewers topic derail your journal a little.

I'm yanking your chain, my friend.
Sarcasm doesn't carry over well over text.

I remember DisneylandUSA, he was a nice guy wonder what happened to him.

[Ampersnd]

Day 10, T-Minus 171 days until end,

I'm noticing an aura of positivity and friendliness coming from a variety of people.
A new resident I met, who was marked as an angry/irritable type, was shining by the end of my interaction.
My boss was beaming after an interaction I had with her.

It's almost as though your absence of a reaction causes any negativity to evaporate when you don't give it a sounding board. It's pretty cool.

I'm also having increasing muscle tightness/soreness and joint pain. My 25-mile running week seems to have had its effect. Since I easily sit 12-14 hours each day, My assumption is that I'm piling a specialized exercise on top of a set of unused/weak muscle groups and imbalances. For that reason, I will be looking into the Knees Over Toes paid program to get my ankles, knees, hips, shoulders, and wrists from sluggish to supernatural.

[Shannon]

Some people can be dramatically affected by your lack of fear with response to them, and even moreso by the effects DRS has. Sounds like she might be one such person.