Day 68--Missed 3 Days
Well I have been running this sub and I hardly feel the urge to change the sub. Instead I feel the need to run this sub. Its like my subconscious has finally accepted to change itself. But something is bothering me.
While I was playing MLS I started to feel anxious again and I was kinda surprised me. Which makes me feel as if I need to run this sub longer. Technically if u calculate I have been running OF5G for about 35 days only. Hmmmm. Now that I think about it. I really need to run it much longer, like for another 60 days.
Good News is that I am finally taking some steps towards my career. I wont tell u what it is cause its kinda complicated and I wanna keep it a secret. Only Me and my parents know about it no one else knows about it not even my brothers and sister or relatives..
One thing I have noticed on this sub is that I have learned to keep my mouth shut. I mean beforw I would have revealed my goals and plans but now I dont. Its like when I keep it a secret then there is this motivation or something which drives me. If I tell other I w9nt be able to complete it..I often have to lie when other ask me what I am doing with my life...Even my whatsapp status is"Under Construction"..lol.
Some more things that I did during these past 68 days is that
I have stopped counting my days on nofap journey. I did this because I had this false belief that nofap was everything..Literally everything and if I relapse then I would loose everything but after running OF I realised that "Nofap is not everything but it is something" means that if I relapse then I actually didnt relapse. I just masturbated on my sexual urge. I just need to fill my time and find other ways to transmute my urges....But I dont even think about Transmuting it. I just focus on building my habits and everything will fall into place...I gotta believe in myself/universe/God...Before OF the thought or feeling of sexual urges would freak me out and I thought it was a bad thing. But that was a very destructive thinking...
Its like tell a child that he is very bad and making him feel bad on every level but expecting him to be Good...
How can a child grow up to be a good person when all his childhood he has accepted the belief that he is a Bad Guy?
Thats how sexual urges are...One must not say its bad or else its will be his doom..
Seriously I have learnt that dont let anyone or anything fucck ur emotions or else ur emotions will fuck u ur whole life...Our Emotions can be angel and devil ..It depends what we make them.
I seriously dont know where this faulty thinking of mine came from...None of my family member is like this..The are very open about sexual jokes and stuff but it was only me who was like this...Hmmmm...I sure was one weird kid.
Well I have been running this sub and I hardly feel the urge to change the sub. Instead I feel the need to run this sub. Its like my subconscious has finally accepted to change itself. But something is bothering me.
While I was playing MLS I started to feel anxious again and I was kinda surprised me. Which makes me feel as if I need to run this sub longer. Technically if u calculate I have been running OF5G for about 35 days only. Hmmmm. Now that I think about it. I really need to run it much longer, like for another 60 days.
Good News is that I am finally taking some steps towards my career. I wont tell u what it is cause its kinda complicated and I wanna keep it a secret. Only Me and my parents know about it no one else knows about it not even my brothers and sister or relatives..
One thing I have noticed on this sub is that I have learned to keep my mouth shut. I mean beforw I would have revealed my goals and plans but now I dont. Its like when I keep it a secret then there is this motivation or something which drives me. If I tell other I w9nt be able to complete it..I often have to lie when other ask me what I am doing with my life...Even my whatsapp status is"Under Construction"..lol.
Some more things that I did during these past 68 days is that
I have stopped counting my days on nofap journey. I did this because I had this false belief that nofap was everything..Literally everything and if I relapse then I would loose everything but after running OF I realised that "Nofap is not everything but it is something" means that if I relapse then I actually didnt relapse. I just masturbated on my sexual urge. I just need to fill my time and find other ways to transmute my urges....But I dont even think about Transmuting it. I just focus on building my habits and everything will fall into place...I gotta believe in myself/universe/God...Before OF the thought or feeling of sexual urges would freak me out and I thought it was a bad thing. But that was a very destructive thinking...
Its like tell a child that he is very bad and making him feel bad on every level but expecting him to be Good...
How can a child grow up to be a good person when all his childhood he has accepted the belief that he is a Bad Guy?
Thats how sexual urges are...One must not say its bad or else its will be his doom..
Seriously I have learnt that dont let anyone or anything fucck ur emotions or else ur emotions will fuck u ur whole life...Our Emotions can be angel and devil ..It depends what we make them.
I seriously dont know where this faulty thinking of mine came from...None of my family member is like this..The are very open about sexual jokes and stuff but it was only me who was like this...Hmmmm...I sure was one weird kid.
