Day 22 (3:22 am)
Just watched a horror movie.. well I won't call it a horror movie at all... But still took "Librium" and now feeling sleepy. It's actually strange that I forgot to take "Librium" for past 7 days. Actually now when I think of it I was drawn to take Librium when I first started this sub. Think my subconscious guided me to take this step because if anything which makes my resistance worse and makes me want to change the subs is anxiety, and when I am anxious my logical thinking is out of window and I can end up doing something which I will regret later.. For example Once I tried to buy Adderall but it wasn't available on counters so I went online and talked to a guy and he convinced me to transfer about.$200 and I did. My mom gave me that money cause we were having money problems but still I convinced her and she gave,I regret my decision even now. After I went to a psychiatrist he measured my BP and said that I have anxiety, I was shocked because I was just talking to to him normally and I had so much of anxiety that he had to give sleeping pills + anxiety medications.. . So after I knew Anxiety has been a part of my whole life. I got so used to it that I didn't even knew I had it.. .
ALSO this confirms it :
http://subliminal-talk.com/thread-8313-p...#pid157104
So I guess I would say this med has helped me great deal in dealing with resistance which causes anxiety..I am thinking of running this sub for sometime longer.
Time 10:53 am
I slept at around 4 or 4:30 am and woke up at around 9:26 am. As soon as I woke up I was kinda surprised that I woke up this early. Usually when I fall asleep at 4 am I am expected to wake up at around 12:30 pm. But Today it was different. I really hope that this sub can also somehow fix my sleep timing cause I can see it happening gradually.
So I woke up and made myself breakfast (Tea and Instant-Noodles) and after having finished my breakfast I had this thought that ..
"We all waste so much of our time doing mindless things which wont even benefit us...You know like mostly waste time surfing net for nothing..Everyday is important and we should read and learn something everyday..Everyday is an opportunity....Dont waste it..We got only one life to live why waste it..."
Thoughts like these were very alien to me before, I mean to say that I knew them before,its just that I didn't understood it that deeply. As I am writing this I am totally calm.
Also told my sis about MLS 5.5G and she has already started saving money for that..
As for me I hardly doubt that I will be able to use that sub if it came out cause I asked Shannon and he told me that I have some intense fears in my subconscious so I am gonna have to use this sub a bit longer..... Who would have thought that fear can affect u this much that it can make you paralysed so that u wont be able to wake further in life....I always thought that Fears help one survive,move forward and make progress...I guess its only works for short term..In long terms it doesnt,and since it isnt working anymore so I am gonna have to throw it out of my life.
Just watched a horror movie.. well I won't call it a horror movie at all... But still took "Librium" and now feeling sleepy. It's actually strange that I forgot to take "Librium" for past 7 days. Actually now when I think of it I was drawn to take Librium when I first started this sub. Think my subconscious guided me to take this step because if anything which makes my resistance worse and makes me want to change the subs is anxiety, and when I am anxious my logical thinking is out of window and I can end up doing something which I will regret later.. For example Once I tried to buy Adderall but it wasn't available on counters so I went online and talked to a guy and he convinced me to transfer about.$200 and I did. My mom gave me that money cause we were having money problems but still I convinced her and she gave,I regret my decision even now. After I went to a psychiatrist he measured my BP and said that I have anxiety, I was shocked because I was just talking to to him normally and I had so much of anxiety that he had to give sleeping pills + anxiety medications.. . So after I knew Anxiety has been a part of my whole life. I got so used to it that I didn't even knew I had it.. .
ALSO this confirms it :
http://subliminal-talk.com/thread-8313-p...#pid157104
So I guess I would say this med has helped me great deal in dealing with resistance which causes anxiety..I am thinking of running this sub for sometime longer.
Time 10:53 am
I slept at around 4 or 4:30 am and woke up at around 9:26 am. As soon as I woke up I was kinda surprised that I woke up this early. Usually when I fall asleep at 4 am I am expected to wake up at around 12:30 pm. But Today it was different. I really hope that this sub can also somehow fix my sleep timing cause I can see it happening gradually.
So I woke up and made myself breakfast (Tea and Instant-Noodles) and after having finished my breakfast I had this thought that ..
"We all waste so much of our time doing mindless things which wont even benefit us...You know like mostly waste time surfing net for nothing..Everyday is important and we should read and learn something everyday..Everyday is an opportunity....Dont waste it..We got only one life to live why waste it..."
Thoughts like these were very alien to me before, I mean to say that I knew them before,its just that I didn't understood it that deeply. As I am writing this I am totally calm.
Also told my sis about MLS 5.5G and she has already started saving money for that..
As for me I hardly doubt that I will be able to use that sub if it came out cause I asked Shannon and he told me that I have some intense fears in my subconscious so I am gonna have to use this sub a bit longer..... Who would have thought that fear can affect u this much that it can make you paralysed so that u wont be able to wake further in life....I always thought that Fears help one survive,move forward and make progress...I guess its only works for short term..In long terms it doesnt,and since it isnt working anymore so I am gonna have to throw it out of my life.
