Obliteration (OGSF v2)

[Benjamin]

A few thoughts. Even more than last time i'm getting closer to stopping OGSF v2.

-It feels like almost everything is going downhill. Struggling to be bothered with much and things are feeling shallow. It's easy to say "oh that's cos you don't have guilt, shame and fear now" but that's not true because otherwise i'd be taking different actions. Little desire to see friends, would rather stay home than go out more than before and generally am going places by myself, not as much enthusiasm in my training but also started commenting on my mate being late too much which wasn't such an issue when I had another person there, but I put in the effort to prepare the session, set up and that in time and he continually is like 10 minutes late. I mentioned it a few weeks ago, then he went away on a trip for a few weeks, and this week it happened again and I spoke up more "I put in the effort to prepare it and set up and you are continually late and I just have to stand around" and he gave me the same "oh it's the traffic and sometimes I can't get away" etc. I told him if it was a proper class he would have to be on time, and he was just making those excuses. I don't know if I should have pushed it but then I said "Ok well lets start training" hoping he got the idea. I'm having thoughts of if it happens again of just tearing it all down, but since he's my only training partner now i'd lose that, but i'm also pissed off he's not respecting my time.

On a positive note going to another martial arts seminar in the city, which I did during v1 and there was one a month most months in the same place but I had more fear come up and was unable to make myself go, then I stopped v1 and that fear got worse again. Well I kept thinking about it, then 2 weeks ago on the night before the early bird price I suddenly had this strong urge to just book it and the hotel. Some fear coming up, it's in a week from now, but I know it'll be worth it.

-On a related note, part of why I worry about booking things like this is my experience with my energy levels in the last 5 years or so, which is better but still not what i'd like. I started acupuncture and after the first session felt worse, and was getting all pissed off "fuck I won't have the energy to goto this seminar" while at the same time knowing it just stirred deeper stuff up in my body. After the second session I feel better than the first.

And here is what I think v2 is leading me to, since a big fear of engaging fully with life and going and doing more stuff, travelling places etc is evidence in the past of my low energy.. it's like i'm being hyper focused on finding practices to build my vital energy. Been full on looking into energy medicine, Qigong stuff and trying to find other things to add to my simple routine the morning based on Qigong.

It's almost like "Ok this fear does have merit, because you have actual evidence for it, so lets guide you to practices to build your energy so that you can worry less about that". The difficulty is I don't really know if i'm being lead to this by OGSF or I would have just come to this anyway as it isn't out of the realms of my interests or what i've done in the past. But it does seem like OGSF guiding definately.

-Maybe 2 weeks ago I got past the fear of talking to girls, and for about 4 days each day I talked to one and they responded really well and I was feeling good, then as has happened every single other fucking time i've done this in the past it crashed, I felt worse and then couldn't do it the next day. And then I went on a porn binge, which for that 4 days or so I didn't have that trigger, because in the past even talking to a girl would end up triggering that later in the day.

But also keep having more thoughts of that should be my last priority, as girls and sex are just a distraction making me feel like i'm doing something instead of actually dealing with these gaping holes in my life that I need to deal with.

-Which leads me to the strong thoughts of doing something else. Like Money Magnet, my biggest next step needed would be moving which the biggest issue is lack of money, that fear is one big part of stopping me earning more money because if I did then it would mean I could move and there's too much fear around that. Thinking that Money Magnet could also more directly deal with that. But also part of the issue is my energy and physical healing, one physical issue has been pretty bad for a longer period than in a while like it's trying to get my attention, so also thoughts of "should I deal with that". Though my healer who is deeply into energy healing, muscle testing and other stuff that's more out there than i'm into keeps insisting my biggest blockage to heal and the core of my physical issues is my living situation draining my energy.

Then also thoughts of "I need to start to trust my deeper self and get guidance from that" and attempting to relax and ask my higher self "what is my next best step?".

Sounds good, when I did this just before using OGSF v2 I got one answer, then another answer another day. Now yesterday I got one answer "Money Magnet" and I had a list of options, then today I said "I'm open to other options not on my list" and other things then come up to do instead, not related to these programs. One around Masculinity and one around money. And this would include coaching again, possibly FasterEFT or something like that.

Just like my subconscious resistance seems to negatively affect my muscle testing (it's taken me a few years to really realize this) I wonder if it's affecting these answers from my 'higher self' or if i'm really contacting my higher self at all.

Problem is I never know if what i'm thinking, what I want to do is from resistance, or legitimate.. if i'm getting the right answers that will really benefit me from muscle testing or more recently with my higher self.

I found a few audios that you listen to so you can tune into your higher self to ask questions, and am considering briefly stopping OGSF to try this. Though i'm not wanting to change anything in the next week cos anything I change or add can affect my energy levels so i'll consider what to do after I goto this seminar next weekend.

-Another possible reason for Optimal Physical Healing, my healer also tells my that my aura is collapsed. She said this before I started OGSF v2 and did an energy healing and fixed my aura and a few days later I went to a restaurant and had this cute 18yo waitress really into me, stopped to talk for ages. Fear stopped me going for it.

But recently especially since OGSF v2 i've felt especially invisible to girls, rarely any smiles or anything. She told me again my aura is collapsed, and that it's related to my living situation and someone draining my vital energy and that to do so my aura has to be penetrated cos it can't happen if the aura is intact. I'm not totally sure, but what she says (without going into more detail) could explain also why i've found it so hard to move. The fixing the aura details in OPH are also of interest due to this.

[Frosted]

If you do decide to quit OGSF I would wait a bit until you’re in a different headspace so that you make sure it’s what you really want and not just due to whatever state you’re in right now. Similar to how you should never make a major life decision when you’re tired.

Keep in mind OGSF can feel like a thankless subliminal. You’re literally subjecting yourself to unpleasantness to heal and clear the stuff you’ve been running from your whole life. Doesn’t mean you shouldn’t reevaluate and run something else if you don’t want to take this approach right now, or have other priorities you’d rather address.

In regards to women, I think it’s okay to pursue them. At the end of the day who cares if it’s a distraction for you? You’re pursuing other things than women, so why do you feel bad about it? As long as it’s not obsessive or suffocating your other priorities. In the long term you want to overcome the unhealthy part of your desires, but right now they’re mixed up in your healthy desires.

[thectexperience1]

Hey Ben, my apologies - somehow didn't see your story when visiting the forums. I have no idea what that must be like, but it sounds like you have come a long way since the darkest hour.

[Benjamin]

If you do decide to quit OGSF I would wait a bit until you’re in a different headspace so that you make sure it’s what you really want and not just due to whatever state you’re in right now. Similar to how you should never make a major life decision when you’re tired.

Definately a good point. I feel much better today after upping the loops last night. Enough that it's not as difficult to continue, but still have the same thoughts about changing to something else. I've said to myself "one more week and i'll decide" which is easier than "ok 4 more months".

Keep in mind OGSF can feel like a thankless subliminal. You’re literally subjecting yourself to unpleasantness to heal and clear the stuff you’ve been running from your whole life. Doesn’t mean you shouldn’t reevaluate and run something else if you don’t want to take this approach right now, or have other priorities you’d rather address.

Yeah that's the thing. Am I using it to hide from what I really need to do under the guise of "I need more healing?" (that's more a rhetorical question to myself).

It's interesting OF v3 I enjoyed, UH I enjoyed more and felt like stuff was happening. OGSF v1 (3 months usage) and v2 (almost 2 months) I haven't enjoyed much at all. I only really have small things to show for it.

What's funny is when I stopped UH it was because I got a strong feeling of "Ok it's time to move forward now", strong enough that I followed it. And I used other things for maybe a few months and it ended up with nothing much happening.

In regards to women, I think it’s okay to pursue them. At the end of the day who cares if it’s a distraction for you? You’re pursuing other things than women, so why do you feel bad about it? As long as it’s not obsessive or suffocating your other priorities. In the long term you want to overcome the unhealthy part of your desires, but right now they’re mixed up in your healthy desires.

The main issue is it can end up being obsessive for me and was a big coping mechanism in the past and keeps coming up, not as strongly though. But I realize it's happening then redirect my focus and each time end up back there. It seems I can't simply just get over the fear and talk to girls when I see them then forget about it and do other things. If I could do that it wouldn't be an issue.

Hey Ben, my apologies - somehow didn't see your story when visiting the forums. I have no idea what that must be like, but it sounds like you have come a long way since the darkest hour.

Thanks, yeah definately have, but it's still a struggle at times.

[Frosted]

If you do decide to quit OGSF I would wait a bit until you’re in a different headspace so that you make sure it’s what you really want and not just due to whatever state you’re in right now. Similar to how you should never make a major life decision when you’re tired.

Definately a good point. I feel much better today after upping the loops last night. Enough that it's not as difficult to continue, but still have the same thoughts about changing to something else. I've said to myself "one more week and i'll decide" which is easier than "ok 4 more months".

Keep in mind OGSF can feel like a thankless subliminal. You’re literally subjecting yourself to unpleasantness to heal and clear the stuff you’ve been running from your whole life. Doesn’t mean you shouldn’t reevaluate and run something else if you don’t want to take this approach right now, or have other priorities you’d rather address.

Yeah that's the thing. Am I using it to hide from what I really need to do under the guise of "I need more healing?" (that's more a rhetorical question to myself).

It's interesting OF v3 I enjoyed, UH I enjoyed more and felt like stuff was happening. OGSF v1 (3 months usage) and v2 (almost 2 months) I haven't enjoyed much at all. I only really have small things to show for it.

What's funny is when I stopped UH it was because I got a strong feeling of "Ok it's time to move forward now", strong enough that I followed it. And I used other things for maybe a few months and it ended up with nothing much happening.

In regards to women, I think it’s okay to pursue them. At the end of the day who cares if it’s a distraction for you? You’re pursuing other things than women, so why do you feel bad about it? As long as it’s not obsessive or suffocating your other priorities. In the long term you want to overcome the unhealthy part of your desires, but right now they’re mixed up in your healthy desires.

The main issue is it can end up being obsessive for me and was a big coping mechanism in the past and keeps coming up, not as strongly though. But I realize it's happening then redirect my focus and each time end up back there. It seems I can't simply just get over the fear and talk to girls when I see them then forget about it and do other things. If I could do that it wouldn't be an issue.

Hey Ben, my apologies - somehow didn't see your story when visiting the forums. I have no idea what that must be like, but it sounds like you have come a long way since the darkest hour.

Thanks, yeah definately have, but it's still a struggle at times.

Funnily enough OGSF I had similar doubts. I wanted to know if I was just on a treadmill of endless healing and clearing to avoid what I wanted to do (make money). Part of the reason I’m on UMS2 now is because I wanted to find out if that was the case. The reason I never started UMS2 at first, was because I was scared that if I never finished healing/clearing on the most powerful healing sub until I was done, that I wouldn’t get good results with other subliminals and might waste my time.

I’ve found that running UMS2 so far has not been a waste of time. I’m still healing and clearing and it’s a lot easier to bear the difficult stuff because it’s all for a purpose. I’ll also get rewards for healing and clearing, like more positivity, instead of just more healing/clearing (although there is that too). I feel like that’s an advantage OGSF doesn’t have, since you’re kinda just doing it to do it.

But on the other hand, OGSF clearing and healing actually was pretty huge for me. It’s so subtle that it’s hard to notice, especially when you’re running it. I still have a hard time noticing. It’s almost like in life. After awhile you look back and are like “oh yeah, I’m actually glad those hard things happened to me, because I can see how they made me a better person today”. Not that OGSF is a bad experience, but it is painful.

With girls, I get it. I’m in a similar boat with my own obsessive issues. I deal with it better than I use to and can disconnect from it, but it’s definitely annoying regardless. It’s mostly about healing the parts of me who are looking outside myself for things I can provide myself. Part of that process is dealing with the painful things in the way of that. Weirdly enough a lot of UMS2 is pointing me towards women indirectly. Either that or it’s just massive resistance lol.

[Benjamin]

Pretty much gone down in a hole again. Of course it happens after going away for a martial arts seminar, staying an extra day and something opened up. I felt really grounded after it, and it was noticable when I went out to dinner talking to the girls working, actually the same happened both nights, but mostly the second night after the seminar.

Come back and felt a big constriction in myself when I come back to my home town, though later in the week I went down the street and felt that same groundedness which was good.

Went to acupuncture saturday, working on low testosterone. I felt some sensations in my groin so it may have woken up something, but I can't blame this as this has been a pattern. I planned to goto the beach after, then after I was relaxed and almost just went home to rest, and I knew if I went home i'd look at porn, but then I knew if I went to the beach i'd get frustrated with girls around and the same thing would happen, it was almost like I had decided it was going to happen and I had to interrupt that.

Then it still come up strongly. And went on another porn binge 2 nights ago, then playing porn games for almost a whole day. And the level of obsessiveness this time was more than it has been the last few times. I definately have this deep fear and trauma around this, and instead of the natural biological drive that SHOULD push me to actually talk to girls, I run away to porn and discharge it as soon as any frustration or annoyance and wanting sex comes up, which I know digs me into a deeper hole. I was thinking earlier that it partly makes sense since for like 4 years due to physical symptoms and fatigue I couldn't have had sex even if I wanted to. But I can't get past it.

I've continually every now and then opened up documents and asked what i'm resisting, or what i'm fearing to get deeper but then the same old shit comes up and it doesn't really shift much. I SHOULD be and need to be focusing on becoming more independent, making money and other areas.. but the fact that my biggest overwhelming fear seems to be talking to girls I can't stop thinking about it or trying to focus on it. If I could simply just go out somewhere and talk to a girl i'm attracted to without this fear, feelings in my body making me 'run away' (metaphorically, but yes it feels like it literally pushes me away, and sometimes can't even look at her, which also stops me knowing if i'm getting signals when this happens) that I can't 'just' stop and focus on other things. Except for temporarily after going on a porn binge, it temporarily stops the obsession, but then a few days later I feel much worse, can't be fucked with anything much etc.

I'm still not even sure if I want to keep going OGSF v2 or if it's what I need, if it's just again trying to hide from what I need under the guise of healing. I forget if I mentioned it but during Universal Healing I got this strong feeling and thought "It's time to move forward now" and then I moved onto other things with the goal of moving forward more in life, and didn't achieve much with that and now back to this cycle of healing.

I continually was relaxing myself and asking my higher self, I consistently was getting an image popping up that could hint at what I should be doing, it was an image of me standing there with my shirt off, strong physique (in the image I just seen my back) and money flying all around me. Metaphorical and without fail it would come up every time. I guess it metaphorically hints at dealing with money obviously, but also Masculinity, strength in myself, testosterone possibly since that handles drive and such. But to go in the direction of both of those things would mean not using these subs and using something else.. which would be fine if I could get a clear answer and knew the right direction.

But... I would constantly get different answers of which program to use. Not tons of answers, different answers of around 3-4 things. Generally it would start with 2 things consistently to combine, then I wouldn't be sure and would keep asking, sometimes it would start with Money Magnet then morph to the other 2 things, and a few times after asking over and over then it would goto OGSF v2. I also would put aside any resistance and judgements stopping me getting the right answer, which would sometimes change the answer, but inconsistent. What was consistent though was the image I mentioned popping up every time, usually first.

I then watched a video and tried a different process for asking my higher self, not meaning it to conflict with OGSF (since it wasn't actually mind programming) but I noticed something discharged after doing this process which also might explain the big binge and feeling down.

I did notice some things OGSF was doing like leading me to.. subtle things but didn't necessarily realize until I interrupted it.

I 'thought' I had then got the answer to continue OGSF.. but not long after these doubts coming up again.

And at the moment getting strong feelings of just throwing it away, and since I can't achieve fuck all that I should be achieving or make much real progress I might aswell use some old stuff for manifestation to indulde this obsession with girls and be with a few that I really would like to be with and forget about trying to do anything else, cos almost any progress I make is destroyed and sometimes seems to get worse each time. Plus still this old 'sabotage' that I still believe is from a dodgy hypnotist comes up to derail obvious shifts I have like after dreams I wake up feeling something shifting and it comes up to get rid of it. Still not much i've done has got rid of that, even sessions with hypnotists and in other things. One thing that helped was making an audio for myself which started to subtly decrease it, but I stopped that for OGSF after like a month.

Or just stop bothering with how i'm told to do things, doing everything 'right' constantly expecting to finally actually get the result and not getting it.. and instead go my own way.

It probably sounds like i'm incredibly depressed while writing all of this. I'm actually feeling fairly relaxed, and the whole post is a bit 'matter of fact'.

[Benjamin]

So I gave in to whatever was coming up, and I think the very next day after posting that or a few days later I started using something else.

The difficult thing is that the night before I had some dreams where OGSF broke through something and it felt big, and I had asked my mind to give me a sign of the best way forward. I woke up with a very strong feeling to use this other audio on Masculinity and so I went with it, it really felt like I was being guided to it.

It started off good, noticably increased presence, more attention (one thing I really don't like about OGSF v2 especially is it feels like i'm invisible alot of the time, and I don't know why this is) but over about the 10 days I started to feel more exhausted, finding it harder to think, overwhelmed and this seemed to be having this and OGSF both running in my head. And I started to realize what OGSF was actually doing.

Now the thing that pisses me off, I said to myself to look at this without judgements of what i'm noticing and just observe.. and my observations said "go back to OGSF" and now suddenly i'm getting these urges to stop this other program that I felt I was guided to, and both tuning into my higher self and muscle testing both told me to stop this new program and go back to OGSF.

Wheras literally the day before it said differently. What the fuck.

This kind of thing is really making me start to distrust my self and what I have been using for guidance. Depending on what i'm feeling on the day of whether what i'm using is going well or not both the muscle testing and my so called 'higher self' will tell me different things (though on the same day both methods give the same answer, I just mean day to day). It's almost like this deep part of me just wants to fuck me around, sabotage what's happening and confuse me all the time and not give me an actual good answer.

And even more ironic, I stopped the other audio yesterday, then notice some of the things it was doing and now I want to use it again! But I thought about it and realized either way there's going to be negatives, and what I want right now is what OGSF was providing which i've noticed coming up more again since stopping the other audio, like less interest in social media and playing games again, whereas the last week or so i've been playing games tons.

So i'm taking around 2 weeks off everything to let it settle then going back to OGSF v2. Combined with using a goal statement like Shannon suggested to Mr Gnome and focusing on that for around 5 minutes a day and visualizing that outcome, which I hope doesn't conflict.. but it's mainly using OGSF v2 towards this outcome so hopefully it's okay.

I'm also thinking of moving listening to the daytime on my phone with the recommended volume. I'm still using my mp3 player and speakers and autoconfig seems to be guiding me with volume, because i'm unable to use my phone at night as I turn it off a few hours before bed. If I look at my phone before going to bed, especially my new phone which I fucking hate for alot of other reasons.. I really won't be able to sleep as looking at the screen has that strong effect on me and I already have enough problems sleeping sometimes, that just makes it much worse. My mp3 player screen doesn't have this issue.

But I also like night time listening as it seems going to bed with it playing kicks something in and I start getting the trauma come up and out of my body and get into an altered state and notice things happening and then it gives the night to process.

Since Shannon was saying to Ampersnd to stick to the normal amount of loops with MM i've only been having the urge to do 1 loop of OGSF instead of significantly more some of the time. I did 8 loops a few times and really felt like I was being guided to it and that did seem to break through at the time, but then I wondered if it was too much. And it's like autoconfig is using what I read from Shannon's posts to now guide me. Which is hard for me to trust with the 'higher self' and muscle testing issues I mentioned but i've been doing with it and will likely continue when I start again.

Also like I said to someone in the discussion thread, I really am not enjoying using OGSF v2 at all. I enjoyed LTU alot for the most part, I enjoyed OF v3, and UH. But OGSF v2 I don't like at all and am really struggling to continue using it, well of course I did sabotage myself.. but i'm having to really make myself go back to using it, it's not like I really want to but getting past fear and trauma stopping me from my main goal is what I need to do.

[Frosted]

I think it’s good you decided to finish as you seem to want and need OGSF2 right now. It’s difficult but you should take that as a good sign. It could mean that you’re dealing with the deep painful stuff that’s preventing you from the results you’ve wanted all this time. Stay strong! I just started OGSF2 as well so now I’ll be running it alongside you.

[Benjamin]

I think it’s good you decided to finish as you seem to want and need OGSF2 right now. It’s difficult but you should take that as a good sign. It could mean that you’re dealing with the deep painful stuff that’s preventing you from the results you’ve wanted all this time. Stay strong! I just started OGSF2 as well so now I’ll be running it alongside you.

I wouldn't say it's totally that I want to, but yeah mostly what I need to do. I feel a bit better about it after some time off, started again today.

[Benjamin]

I took around 11 days off, I planned to do 2 weeks but yesterday I hit another point of frustration and went on a masturbation and porn binge last night and today. I was getting fairly down on myself after, I know straight away after that it's damaging, I feel shit, my head feels shit and I know it's not beneficial but then a bit later just seem to automatically goto it again and again for that day and usually the next day.

So I decided to start OGSF again today, now on my phone at the described volume, I also started again at 40 minutes. Unfortunately this means I can only use it during the day since as I said if I look at my phone even momentarily at night I really can't sleep, which is why i've been using programs still on my mp3 player (which has a mono screen easy to look at) at the old method of setting volume.

As soon as I started listening I had a physical shutdown effect, tiredness, head constricted and tight, feeling like the energy was being drained from me and physically shutting down. Interestingly this is what happened yesterday that brought on the binge. I went to a place I wouldn't usually goto, explored and walked around a bit. But it didn't take very long and I got really tired, weak and shut down. Partly frustration I think as I seen some girls and just frustrated I can't make any progress in that area and the fear stopping me. And then I just couldn't enjoy myself or the surroundings, I just felt like "fuck this I can't be bothered" even though it's a beautiful place. I didn't feel like going in the first place, but the point was to make myself goto some places I wouldn't usually go.

The tiredness and shutdown was obviously emotional because I was fine driving home, plus after getting home my energy was fine.

Then in bed I was thinking about it and getting frustrated and what lead me to the binge (the first time last night) was the thought "well I may aswell do something that I know feels good if everything else is fucked" basically.

Funnily enough I did talk to a girl in a shop a few days ago, she smiled at me. I hesitated a bit but then talked to her briefly. But this is a weird double edged thing.. I get this frustration because of the fear stopping me and it leads me to porn and masturbation, or occasionally I will talk to a girl and feel good about it.. but then there's some weird thing that leads me to the same outcome.

[User_000]

I've been reading your thread for a while and always wanted to ask, why do you want to talk to girls so bad? what i get as an outsider who doesn't have the slightest idea about who you are is that you seem kind of obsessed with trying to talk to girls, then fail, get frustrated and go on a binge until the cycle repeats again. I'm not saying is bad or something but what are you expecting to gain from that?

[Shannon]

I think you going back to OGSF and using it according to the instructions is going to be good for you.

I think you've got some part(s) of your awareness that are influencing your results with muscle testing. I find that that happens to me a lot when I try to dowse with a pendulum, if I have my eyes open my conscious mind's thoughts and fears/desires may interfere. I get accurate answers when I use it with my eyes closed and keep my conscious mind focused on the question, not any of the possible answers.

Also, getting away from OGSF is something you had to know was sabotage. The more you dislike it, the more you have to know that's the parts of you that don't want to cooperate pushing you away.

AutoConfig will adjust the instructions to what you need most. You have to start from the instructions, though. It will never tell you to stop using the program; it's not designed for that. You make that choice on your own.

[Benjamin]

I've been reading your thread for a while and always wanted to ask, why do you want to talk to girls so bad? what i get as an outsider who doesn't have the slightest idea about who you are is that you seem kind of obsessed with trying to talk to girls, then fail, get frustrated and go on a binge until the cycle repeats again. I'm not saying is bad or something but what are you expecting to gain from that?

What's the other choice? Give up and goto mgtow? That doesn't solve the issue.

But really the obsession comes up when my deepest issues are being hit upon, abandonment/rejection/adoption and gets strong. Plus due to the fact I couldn't have even been with girls if I wanted to for like 5 years due to physical stuff with chronic illness, fatigue, definately got alot of trauma around that. Like wanting to, but then the trauma still there pulls me in that bad direction.

Funnily enough (mainly as part of my journal) i'm getting alot of stuff coming up and out physically around my groin area. For a basic idea think similar to TRE.

I'm expecting that at some point I can work through it. Which i've seen that at times where this cycle hasn't happened, but I just seem to post when this kind of thing is happening the most.

[Benjamin]

I think you going back to OGSF and using it according to the instructions is going to be good for you.

I think you've got some part(s) of your awareness that are influencing your results with muscle testing. I find that that happens to me a lot when I try to dowse with a pendulum, if I have my eyes open my conscious mind's thoughts and fears/desires may interfere. I get accurate answers when I use it with my eyes closed and keep my conscious mind focused on the question, not any of the possible answers.

Also, getting away from OGSF is something you had to know was sabotage. The more you dislike it, the more you have to know that's the parts of you that don't want to cooperate pushing you away.

AutoConfig will adjust the instructions to what you need most. You have to start from the instructions, though. It will never tell you to stop using the program; it's not designed for that. You make that choice on your own.

It seems using it on my phone at the described volume is doing more than expected. I had a thought last night that it's possible I got guided to use something else and have all the intensity from that so that finally I would use my phone to play it which I was really resisting doing. Especially since I hate my new phone so much and usually want to throw it out the window.

But sadly at the same time despite noticing more from the proper usage pattern this sabotage is coming up strongly, for a long time this morning in bed I was fighting against it going back and forth because if I just relax and give into it then it just does it's thing and ruins the programming, this also happens when i'm too tired or out of it to consciously stop it happening. I was thinking to my earlier subliminals I used and how I just seemed to get the results, which was before the dodgy hypnosis sessions that I believe caused this sabotage. And I was also thinking that if it wasn't for that the results I would have got from the latest programs would have been much, much more. This 'thing' even seeps into other practices like Qigong and such when I feel a new energy or a deeper state and comes up to get rid of it.

Each hypnotist I had sessions with or emailed mostly said the same old shit, basically ignoring this specific thing and dealing with my limiting programming around the areas I want to work on.. then each time this thing derailed all of that and they were wrong again, only one seemed to try to work on the specific sabotage thing and helped a little but not a huge amount.

Well it's weird, those feelings were so convincing like it was this deeper part of me guiding me to the other thing. I can't say i've had resistance in this way before, or maybe I just wasn't aware of it until now.

I didn't see the stopping the program as autoconfig, I know that's just guiding me to different usage. But what was happening in my mind at that time was incredibly convincing.

But "the more you dislike it, the more you have to know that's the parts of oyu that don't want to cooperate pushing you away". Yep, it's funny I can instantly point this out in others but it's still convincing with myself, this time even more so than anything I remember using in the past.