10-17-2023, 04:12 PM
Well the identity thing makes sense. I know at times in the past i've confronted the fear, especially stuff around talking to girls that i've felt better for a bit then it's come back stronger.
I feel i've been guided to do these social pressure exercises, almost like "this is something that helped in the past".
The 20 minute loops are on top of my normal listening. 1 hour at night, and the 20 minute ones when i've had the urge and it seems to have been getting me through it. Where I would have looked at porn any of the last 3 days usually it got me through those urges.
Ok i'll stick with ultrasonic. I only did the ocean surf with a couple of the 20 minute listenings as I had the urge for something gentler in the moment, but as I realized it didn't seem to do as much as ultrasonic which relaxed me straight away. I use ultrasonic for my night listening.
Also the 20 minute listenings really seemed like an urge from autoconfig, and there was a strong feeling that "anything more than that now is too much".
I feel much more relaxed today.
Also what's interesting is there seems to be a stripping away of the non-essential, I guess part of my morning routine is due to fear. Red light therapy and other things, because I fear that if I don't keep doing these things I won't be able to function due to low energy, but I seen a journal and it's nearly been 2 years of red light therapy and it's not like i'm feeling amazing from it, though I might realize what it's doing after stopping for a while. At one point my morning routine was getting even bigger, like I feel I have to spend hours doing all this shit or I won't function properly, which definately comes from fear, but also some evidence of it and how much I had to do just to function when I was really fatigued a few years ago.
I had the thought of instead of doing all these little things, that there are more important core things that I need to do instead.. i'm not sure what those are yet.
My daily practice of Qigong type stuff, the new practices for energy and vitality are staying and I still have the urge for them. Part of that benefit might be grounding in my barefeet on the grass and having my shirt off in the sun. I'm only on the preperation exercises so haven't got to building the energy yet.
I feel i've been guided to do these social pressure exercises, almost like "this is something that helped in the past".
The 20 minute loops are on top of my normal listening. 1 hour at night, and the 20 minute ones when i've had the urge and it seems to have been getting me through it. Where I would have looked at porn any of the last 3 days usually it got me through those urges.
Ok i'll stick with ultrasonic. I only did the ocean surf with a couple of the 20 minute listenings as I had the urge for something gentler in the moment, but as I realized it didn't seem to do as much as ultrasonic which relaxed me straight away. I use ultrasonic for my night listening.
Also the 20 minute listenings really seemed like an urge from autoconfig, and there was a strong feeling that "anything more than that now is too much".
I feel much more relaxed today.
Also what's interesting is there seems to be a stripping away of the non-essential, I guess part of my morning routine is due to fear. Red light therapy and other things, because I fear that if I don't keep doing these things I won't be able to function due to low energy, but I seen a journal and it's nearly been 2 years of red light therapy and it's not like i'm feeling amazing from it, though I might realize what it's doing after stopping for a while. At one point my morning routine was getting even bigger, like I feel I have to spend hours doing all this shit or I won't function properly, which definately comes from fear, but also some evidence of it and how much I had to do just to function when I was really fatigued a few years ago.
I had the thought of instead of doing all these little things, that there are more important core things that I need to do instead.. i'm not sure what those are yet.
My daily practice of Qigong type stuff, the new practices for energy and vitality are staying and I still have the urge for them. Part of that benefit might be grounding in my barefeet on the grass and having my shirt off in the sun. I'm only on the preperation exercises so haven't got to building the energy yet.
