08-13-2020, 11:37 AM
Completed 6 rounds, I am on night 3 off, out of 3.
I haven't been feeling like writing here, but I am writing now,
- Last few days I have been feeling bored with this subliminal, but maybe I am just bored in life.
- I have been feeling this readyiness to fight feeling, like when I go out I seem to go through scenarios in my mind of people saying stuff to me or starting a fight or things of that nature and I am automatically going through scenarios of what I would do etc.
- An annoyance with certain types of people has increased,
- Tied in with the above I am not letting anyone disrepect me or "have one over me" type feeling, even to my girlfriend recently, it is like "no I am not taking no shit, I dont care who you are" sort of feeling. Obvouslty, if I am mistaken or wrong, there is repercussions. So not ideal in win/win communications.
- My dreams are not as intense as when I first started this subliminal, they are more normal and not as vivid, epic and as in my face. Some still have themes related though. Funny enough last night involved confronting childhood bullies, not caring and ready and willing to fight all 3 of them if I had to, but in the dream they all back off and walked away from me confronting them. Other than this last night, I can't remember the last one that stood out.
- The feeling of disliking people because of their annoyances is not really productive for me, it annoys me more than normal, like it is as if I am feeling angry about it, but not actually angry, it is hard to explain. It is like a strength, but I suppose it would come across like that only in certain situations, other situations would be better with more tact and elegance, that is it ...it feels raw, rough around the edges.
- I have been noticing swear words come out of my mouth, and I am realising it just as they happen, not randomly though haha. I am not a fan of using swear words (I have in the past, until I made a conscious decision to stop it), as I see it as lower class. I dislike it when it happens as soon as I reliase I think damn I am acting like a commoner. I just recently noticed, especially when things get heated. I really dislike it when I swear, makes me feel so low class. I know this sounds snobbish, but I just see it as having high standards and preferences.
- I feel fine about continuing to use OF 5.75 for a minimum of 8 months, I have nothing to run away to anyway.
- One of my concerns is will I be able to learn to smooth the edges and rawness myself?
I haven't been feeling like writing here, but I am writing now,
- Last few days I have been feeling bored with this subliminal, but maybe I am just bored in life.
- I have been feeling this readyiness to fight feeling, like when I go out I seem to go through scenarios in my mind of people saying stuff to me or starting a fight or things of that nature and I am automatically going through scenarios of what I would do etc.
- An annoyance with certain types of people has increased,
- Tied in with the above I am not letting anyone disrepect me or "have one over me" type feeling, even to my girlfriend recently, it is like "no I am not taking no shit, I dont care who you are" sort of feeling. Obvouslty, if I am mistaken or wrong, there is repercussions. So not ideal in win/win communications.
- My dreams are not as intense as when I first started this subliminal, they are more normal and not as vivid, epic and as in my face. Some still have themes related though. Funny enough last night involved confronting childhood bullies, not caring and ready and willing to fight all 3 of them if I had to, but in the dream they all back off and walked away from me confronting them. Other than this last night, I can't remember the last one that stood out.
- The feeling of disliking people because of their annoyances is not really productive for me, it annoys me more than normal, like it is as if I am feeling angry about it, but not actually angry, it is hard to explain. It is like a strength, but I suppose it would come across like that only in certain situations, other situations would be better with more tact and elegance, that is it ...it feels raw, rough around the edges.
- I have been noticing swear words come out of my mouth, and I am realising it just as they happen, not randomly though haha. I am not a fan of using swear words (I have in the past, until I made a conscious decision to stop it), as I see it as lower class. I dislike it when it happens as soon as I reliase I think damn I am acting like a commoner. I just recently noticed, especially when things get heated. I really dislike it when I swear, makes me feel so low class. I know this sounds snobbish, but I just see it as having high standards and preferences.
- I feel fine about continuing to use OF 5.75 for a minimum of 8 months, I have nothing to run away to anyway.
- One of my concerns is will I be able to learn to smooth the edges and rawness myself?
