Status update
Back in home town. Started Whole30 program yesterday. This is really strict, but I'm gonna finish it. I know I'll be eating Primal for the rest of the summer though.
Going to get back to my training after an almost 2 week break. Mainly bodyweight for today.
I busted a few nuts yesterday to some porn. I thought it was totally out of me, but not yet. I think this is due to me feeling even more frustrated. I'm in a house with my parents. My chances of having sex with a hot girl are even worse than on campus. Regardless, I'm doing what I can to focus myself on 3 things this summer: Cut and get lean as fuck, handle my emotional stuff, and immerse myself in the performing arts to better my skills.
I know that I should change my major to be performance based. I KNOW it's the right thing to do. But as I've said, the people in my major don't really talk to me and have their cliques. I just think that that's bad enough as it is. If I change to the performance major, I'll be around them WAY more often. I can only see that as me emotionally abusing myself by forcing myself to do that. Right now, I definitely don't need that. I have enough shit to do without making it worse for myself. On one hand, from what I understand, making the choice not to change majors would be acting from a "victim" mentality. And making the choice to change would be from the "victor" mentality. But really, IDGAF right now. I'm not gonna fuck myself up even more emotionally. So I don't know what to do with this situation at the moment.
I may reduce my E2 hours to somewhere between 16-18 to see what happens. I've been feeling maybe a bit more tired lately with my high hours (19-23). For a day, I considered stopping E2 for a limited amount of time so that I could get some tapping sessions in and then resume E2. I'd only do the tapping sessions for the things regarding my major and girls. Once those problems are out of my life, I see myself having no problem spending another 8+ months with E2.
On the plus side, it's getting easier for me to only make comparisons to myself. I haven't read anyone's journal on here in awhile, except for Shannon's.
Back in home town. Started Whole30 program yesterday. This is really strict, but I'm gonna finish it. I know I'll be eating Primal for the rest of the summer though.
Going to get back to my training after an almost 2 week break. Mainly bodyweight for today.
I busted a few nuts yesterday to some porn. I thought it was totally out of me, but not yet. I think this is due to me feeling even more frustrated. I'm in a house with my parents. My chances of having sex with a hot girl are even worse than on campus. Regardless, I'm doing what I can to focus myself on 3 things this summer: Cut and get lean as fuck, handle my emotional stuff, and immerse myself in the performing arts to better my skills.
I know that I should change my major to be performance based. I KNOW it's the right thing to do. But as I've said, the people in my major don't really talk to me and have their cliques. I just think that that's bad enough as it is. If I change to the performance major, I'll be around them WAY more often. I can only see that as me emotionally abusing myself by forcing myself to do that. Right now, I definitely don't need that. I have enough shit to do without making it worse for myself. On one hand, from what I understand, making the choice not to change majors would be acting from a "victim" mentality. And making the choice to change would be from the "victor" mentality. But really, IDGAF right now. I'm not gonna fuck myself up even more emotionally. So I don't know what to do with this situation at the moment.
I may reduce my E2 hours to somewhere between 16-18 to see what happens. I've been feeling maybe a bit more tired lately with my high hours (19-23). For a day, I considered stopping E2 for a limited amount of time so that I could get some tapping sessions in and then resume E2. I'd only do the tapping sessions for the things regarding my major and girls. Once those problems are out of my life, I see myself having no problem spending another 8+ months with E2.
On the plus side, it's getting easier for me to only make comparisons to myself. I haven't read anyone's journal on here in awhile, except for Shannon's.
