MHS-5.5G Journal [Second Run]

[Zane]

It's been only 10 days and I am exhausted as fuck!! I am feeling so fucking sleepy and tired but if my parents ask me to so something I can do it. It's a different type of exhaustion when ur body forces and motivates you to go to sleep so that it can repair itself more efficiently..

Also I am feeling a weird pain in my Nasal cavity..Hope its healing all the shit cause my head fucking hurts. Took pain killers and didn't have any effect.. But for some reason I don't want to stop this sub. Even though I am going thru all this painful shit I knows it's gonna be awesome.. Its 6 am and I am still feeling sleepy. When I woke up at around 4 am

[Zane]

Man I am feeling soo sleepy.. I would just like to sleep and take rest. Man it feels as if I am in a hospital and need to rest until and unless I recover

feeling the same - but unfortunately I have a lot of work and can't just fall asleep for the rest of this beautiful day..... ehh

and here I thought Grizzly Bears loved sleeping. Especially on MHS

[Zane]

Something really strange happened today.

I received a mail and it said that I have received a reply on my youtube comment.. I swear to you guys I don't even remember typing that comment and if I focused really hard I could only remember fragments of memories like 5% or less.The strange thing is that I typed that comment only a week ago but I felt as if it's been ages since I wrote that comment I could hardly remember it..

Its was really really strange experience.. I seriously don't know how to explain this. MHS did this I know that for sure.

Update:

I was thinking of ways to earn money and I started googling and I realised..I am good for nothing. I dont have any skills or knowledge to work even when I am bored..

[Zane]

I am so fucking angry at myself.. Fuck I feel If only I could beat the crap out of me.. I hate how I have ruined myself emotionally and physically all these years...I am such an idiot.

[Zane]

Sometimes I think I should take a break for 1 or 2 days. I am sleeping so much that I skip my dinner and also my family is getting mad. It's like my body is whispering into my ears for me to sleep.. Like hypnosis.

[Zane]

Day 14

I feel as if I am going thru some kind of awakening.

[Chris P. Bacon]

Day 14

I feel as if I am going thru some kind of awakening.

DETAILS!!!!!!

[Zane]

Day 17

Updates:

Skin scars are healing but real slow. Few bumps or boil(wherever they are called) did emerge in first week but its okay now.

I went phases where I would be chilling and suddenly out of nowhere I will be running towards toilet and a Huge load of crap would come out. Its detox for sure. Sometimes I would just take a sip of juice and within 15 min I would shit 10 times what I have taken or eaten..But after that I would feel so relaxed,cleaned ,purified.....Before MHS It we just a struggle now its like a Hobby..loool

I also noticed that my right sinuses and nasal cavity are much more open now. I can feel the cold air going thru it. I went(still going) thru a lot of sneezing and coughing. A Lot of crap came out it was a dark green semi-solid stuff. I have been suffering from Nasal Polyp for past 6 years and I had my second surgery in Last December. But things were starting to get bad again in 2-3 months but after using MHS my sinuses are opening and I can breath easily now. Its 2 weeks since I took any meds and MHS is working much better than med..(Dont worry I will still take my meds)

My erections are much harder and stronger.

My sleep schedule which was messed up for past 4 years is now fixing on its own. Its still fluctuating but 2-3 hours . I used to sleep in day and will be awake at night. I still feel drowsy in day time but I wont sleep no matter what cause I know my body is trying to adjust itself.

Stiffness and pain in neck and back has somewhat decrease but its still there.

I avoid biting my nails ..Was a major concern for me.

Today I noticed that I dont experience any bad breath after waking up...I was so surprised by this.

Also during this time I noticed that my teeth are shining much more and kinda look white.

I avoid drinking Tea and Coffee.

As far as cognitive abilities are concern I am able to organise my thoughts somewhat clearly and memory is kinda improved but still concentration abilities are fucked up..Will take time I know that for sure..

[Blink]

That feels like a life upgrade! Congrats on your progress

[Zane]

Day 19

I have started taking Omega-3 Fish Oil 1000mg. What's weird is that as soon as I took it within 10 mins I started feeling sleepy. That's weird. I googled and found out few people having same problem so they take it at night. I never ever responded to supplements that fast in my life...

I think its a phase from Omega 3 to make me sleepy so that it can fix my brain when I am no longer using it. Will take it at night from now. I am taking Spirulina-500mg with Vita-C-500mg to 1000mg(depending on my mood lool)

[Zane]

Day 20

For past 2-3 three days I am having dreams which is related to school and using cognitive abilities.. I mean its as if MHS is rewrite the past in my head about things which I wasn't able to accomplish due to my ADHD type personality..
I think this only means that MHS is now working on my mental healing.. I can't say for sure but dreams do point in this direction.
Also after taking Omega-3 1000mg yesterday I slept real nice today and woke up at around 6am.

[Zane]

Day 22

Well I am gonna write these thoughts down as I feel it will be like reaffirming to myself or something like that.

My whole life I have lived as "nice guy". I helped people even if they didn't helped me back. They use to make fun of me and I thought that I was important to them. But I was only fooling myself..Someone would ask me for help and I couldn't even say "No" and next thing you know I will be doing stuff which wouldn't even want to. I thought that I wast doing a good thing by going against my wishes and intentions to help someone..
This was since my childhood. No one in my family is like this except my mom and I know that I inherited this from her but I was a level beyond that..

They use to call me "Nice kid" or "Nice Guy".. Being called nice is like saying that u are so weak that even if they hurt u.. You don't have enough strength to fight back... Its a taboo..
My friends were only with me cause they all had their selfish reason.

My relatives and friends all of them are fucking Hypocrites.. Everyone of them. They think they are so spiritual but I can see them that they are such a big Hypocrites. [rule 4]

I think the reason I have so much mental disorders is because I never listened to my soul/subconscious whatever you want to call it.. No wonder I was suffering from MDD, SAD, ADHD, Insomnia and all other shit..
But one thing I knew before even finding IML.. That I knew I will fix myself.. I always had hope in myself That one day things will change..

I was at a stage that I would go to sleep and would never even want to wake up again. I spend months inside my house and never going outside.. I was so scared and full of shame whenever I would step outside my house...

I was so much exhausted mentally and physically that I was about to just give up cause I stood up so many times but this time I didn't have the strength to.. But help came and I am healing now and getting better.. I never knew who I was. I was so busy in outside world.

OF and MHS are two things that have started to fix things.. MHS healing my mind and body. I am just so happy that I found my way out of this.. and from this day onwards things are only gonna get better cause bad days are over..

[Blink]

My whole life I have lived as "nice guy". I helped people even if they didn't helped me back. They use to make fun of me and I thought that I was important to them. But I was only fooling myself..Someone would ask me for help and I couldn't even say "No" and next thing you know I will be doing stuff which wouldn't even want to. I thought that I wast doing a good thing by going against my wishes and intentions to help someone..
This was since my childhood. No one in my family is like this except my mom and I know that I inherited this from her but I was a level beyond that..

They use to call me "Nice kid" or "Nice Guy".. Being called nice is like saying that u are so weak that even if they hurt u.. You don't have enough strength to fight back... Its a taboo..
My friends were only with me cause they all had their selfish reason.

I relate to most of this. I'm a nice guy myself This is the way I look at it tho. I love that part of me. Well... I used to hate it. But I've come to the realization that the world needs nice guys.

It's just what you make of it. People will tell you that "nice guys finish last". I disagree with that. Being a nice guy hasn't stopped me from having good relationships with people, it hasn't stopped me from having girlfriends either And every single one of them has told me that I'm a sweet loving person. Because I am. And that's mainly because I'm nice and I try not to hurt people's feelings and do good as much as I can. But there's a couple of things I can't stand, and if anyone exhibits them, I'm history. Unwarranted disrespect and treating me like a doormat. Any of these two things happen, they'll get a warning. It happens again, I'll drop the relationship and never look back (which would suck balls of course... but it's the right thing to do for the long run). I'm so much ingrained in that state that no one has exhibited that behaviour in ages.

So, like I said. It's what you make of it. Nice guys that allow themselves to be treated as doormats will finish last. Having said that, you will probably have to go through the hate part and trying to be an asshole/jerk part before coming to an acceptance. I didn't go through that phase myself, I watched a friend do it tho, and I learned from that.

Also, on a side note, have you taken a MBTI personality test? We seem to be the same type (Or very close)

[D.Ace]

Day 22

Well I am gonna write these thoughts down as I feel it will be like reaffirming to myself or something like that.

My whole life I have lived as "nice guy". I helped people even if they didn't helped me back. They use to make fun of me and I thought that I was important to them. But I was only fooling myself..Someone would ask me for help and I couldn't even say "No" and next thing you know I will be doing stuff which wouldn't even want to. I thought that I wast doing a good thing by going against my wishes and intentions to help someone..
This was since my childhood. No one in my family is like this except my mom and I know that I inherited this from her but I was a level beyond that..

They use to call me "Nice kid" or "Nice Guy".. Being called nice is like saying that u are so weak that even if they hurt u.. You don't have enough strength to fight back... Its a taboo..
My friends were only with me cause they all had their selfish reason.

My relatives and friends all of them are ***** Hypocrites.. Everyone of them. They think they are so spiritual but I can see them that they are such a big Hypocrites that even [rule 4]

I think the reason I have so much mental disorders is because I never listened to my soul/subconscious whatever you want to call it.. No wonder I was suffering from MDD, SAD, ADHD, Insomnia and all other shit..
But one thing I knew before even finding IML.. That I knew I will fix myself..
I was at a stage that I would go to sleep and would never even want to wake up again. I spend months inside my house and never going outside.. I was so scared and full of shame whenever I would step outside my house...

I was so much exhausted mentally and physically that I was about to just give up cause I stood up so many times but this time I didn't have the strength to.. But help came and I am healing now and getting better.. I never knew who I was. I was so busy in outside world.

OF and MHS are two things that have started to fix things.. MHS healing my mind and body. I am just so happy that I found my way out of this.. and from this day onwards things are only gonna get better cause bad days are over..

As I'm currently in a difficult situation which also happened because I helped too much, my inability to say no, I could relate to your story.
Surprisingly, I think I inherit it from my mom too.

I tried my best not to come out bitter and stop being kind, I learned to calculate and having a careful approach before helping anyone around.
For I don't know if the help I provide might harm anyone's state (like being dependent to me, or not trying the best before reaching out for help) or it ends up backfiring like what I'm going through now.

I wish you strength, man.
Cheers,

Ace