(02-14-2015, 10:37 AM)JakeKennedy Wrote: Love reading your journals LionKing! I am in Stage 4 of AM6 and have had terrific results so far. I plan to run SM3 like you after AM6. I was curious if you feel like your alpha male results have been maintained, faded or intensified over the course of SM3? Thanks a lot man and best of luck with everything!
Hey, thanks! :) Umm.. well, so many things in AM, but as social confidence and such goes, they're intensified. Gym, body language, eye contact, playfulness, spontaneous laughter, presence/stability, productivity are all up, and I'm more relaxed, procrastinate less, am not needy, etc. I have been feeling somewhat "gloomy" during the later stages, which is kinda weird because overall I might be feeling gloomy (slight/moderate dark cloud) but then I still LOL at small things, smile a lot etc. It could just be that I'm chronically tired. If I'm ever really rested (rare), then I feel great. Good to hear you're having success on AM btw. I feel like I "have to" run it again soon too, to really get that sense of self-worth and outcome independence to a stable, reliable level. I just hope I won't isolate myself too much this time.
Stage 6, day 12. Well, I guess SM3 has been doing something behind the scenes at least. I really don't talk to a lot of girls, nor do I even go out that much, but it seems those rare times I have a date we always end up on my bed. Messaged this girl on tinder today at 7 pm, met her at 9 and our 1st boinking happened somewhere close to 11, I think. So easy. I mean, I didn't even try.. my plan was to have a fun date, keep it light and not press for sex, kisses or anything, just flirting and casual touching. But I dunno. She seemed to be having fun, though not overly eager or anything. I did touch her more and more and walk her to my apartment, but only because she didn't resist it at all. "...and easily forms a deep sexual connection with them without even trying" <-- I've been noticing this a few times lately: things actually work much better if I'm not TRYING to be sexual or project that vibe or anything, I'm just trying to have a fun conversation. I guess I'm just getting in my own way if I consciously TRY to be sexy. Getting friend zoned is just not possible. Run the program and you'll see.
Hadn't blow a load in a week and the 1st time was impossible, felt like I'm going to come no matter what I do. 2nd time was much better, though. I'm feeling a bit bad b/c I have my main girl coming in tomorrow and I might have to postpone that by one day.. she's not that easily satiated and idk if I'll have the energy :D
^^That kinda troubles me. There's definitely some insecurity around sexual performance - quality, stamina and frequency. I think frequency/recovery interval is the most troubling one for me, because too high frequency causes massive self-doubt, which causes performance issues. Not sure how much of that self-doubt is factual vs. mental, though I'm pretty sure I could go a lot more frequently to just porn (no pressure) than with a real woman. Another round of SM might help, but I feel I'd rather move on to WM. I'm not looking for an exclusive GF, but I'd like to be able to talk to girls more frequently and more easily, to form more emotional connections again, to feel more deserving of the classiest ones and to have a bit more "wonder" around them. Some of that past wonder I had may have just been neediness, but still. Of course, the more times you see a girl you like, the stronger the emotional bond is going to get anyway.
Still juggling whether to run EPRHA, AM6 or WM2 next. EPRHA seems like a winner and maybe it'll help with those frequency-related worries too. "Effortless socializing" is what I've always felt most lacking in, so WM might be more beneficial than AM, who knows.
ION: I'm reading The power of neuroplasticity (credit Geodude) and its really recommended. I have read his previous book on self-talk too, but this one's much more convincing and empowering than that was. No matter which sub I'm running next, I'll be focusing a lot on my self-talk. Its actually pretty darn easy to talk myself into a great mood, and just doing that seems to prevent most negative/pessimistic thoughts from appearing.
Btw, there has been a lot of comfort eating lately, though I somehow remain in great shape.
Thoughts, opinions and beliefs subject to change without prior notice.
