Stage 3, Day 17. Not much has been happening, except that I've been busy with various stuff. Its possible that stamina results are starting to show, though I'll hold off from proclaiming it just yet. At the same time there was also a period where my sex drive was suddenly quite low, whereas just before it had been very high. And it was not due to pstec, btw, didn't use it then. I noticed I haven't really felt anxious in a while and its not a feeling than comes up too much anymore. Sometimes there's this cautious feeling in meetings at work or similar situations, but nothing above a 3 or 4. Walking in the streets feels good, like a boss ;) Eye contact I'd say is pretty good. I've mostly seen women in the gym, but that gym is very small so I'd usually have to go talk to them while there are 5 people working out within a few meters, all of who I see there at least every other time I go. And no music.
What Shannon said to Sarge is turning out to be interesting. I posted elsewhere that I'm worried about if there's a "moral problem" for waiting until about 1-3 hookups before coming out with the non-exclusivity talk. I've been feeling some other things as well, so today I did PNs: "I have nothing to offer (to women)" and "I don't deserve sex with beautiful women", then followed up with PPs: "I have a lot to offer" and "I deserve sex with beautiful women". I was getting bored too, but I noticed that during that last one my mind wandered to an image of me doing AM6 again and going through all kinds of difficulties and issues it brought up, and I think it was implied that going through that kind of hard training would finally make me worthy, i.e. deserve sex w. b. w. Of course that not right, so this follows:
I wouldn't say that I've been putting of my responsibility to the subliminals. I know they're inanimate, and I often think of them as listening to instructions, like I'm at school and I'm learning something useful. But what is true is that there has definitely appeared this new concept of my subconscious, who is separate from me. Whereas before I'd say I took responsibility for my action and went out 2-5 times a week for some 1.5 years every week, now I've been trying to take responsibility by examining and trying to perfect this subconscious (beliefs, etc), and then its HIS responsibility to throw me into situations and make shit happen for me.
Its pretty clear that results wise, I was talking to a shit ton more people a year ago, and I was only having way more sex. When I started with this belief-centered thing, I drifted away from taking direct action. Which was good, because I was doing all I could, I didn't really know what I wanted and I didn't have the self-validation and sense of direction that I have now. Once I started to see that I'm doing a lot of stuff that I don't really want to be doing just to get "practice", or laid without a decent connection, it had the effect of pushing me away from that kind of action. But now it seems I'm, in fact, not taking direct responsibility of my results anymore. If I wanted to have 4 girlfriends again, I don't see any reason why I couldn't make it happen now as I did then. I don't want those kind of results, but I'm also not making the effort to get what I DO want now. Basically I'm waiting for it to become effortless, which is NOT a proactive way of doing things.
My in-person interactions are going really well atm, but with stuff like texting, I somehow don't assume responsibility anymore. I feel like its a waste of time and fake and that I'm such a catch now anyway that I should just be able to say "let's go out tonight at eight, meet me here" to a new girl out of the blue after a week of silence. And when it doesn't work out, I'll blame her. But really its still my responsibility to at least first get a feel of where she's at and then see if I can quickly pace and lead her back to a more suitable state. I don't even know any NLP tricks, but you know, go with her.
Well, I'll try to keep my mind on this for a while. I'll do a PP with "I take full responsibility of my results" for 30 days straight starting today and I'll try to start seeing things more through that perspective. Feels very empowering, but what pops up instantly is "Its too much work. If I'd take full responsibility, I'd have to work 36 hours a day, I'd break everything I've built just searching for alternatives and I'd burn out in a week". But yeah, we'll see. And maybe another run of AM6 could be a good choice after SM3, even if it is in the summer ;) Just because I should already be able to have a good social life if I assumed full responsibility, and AM should support that attitude best.
What Shannon said to Sarge is turning out to be interesting. I posted elsewhere that I'm worried about if there's a "moral problem" for waiting until about 1-3 hookups before coming out with the non-exclusivity talk. I've been feeling some other things as well, so today I did PNs: "I have nothing to offer (to women)" and "I don't deserve sex with beautiful women", then followed up with PPs: "I have a lot to offer" and "I deserve sex with beautiful women". I was getting bored too, but I noticed that during that last one my mind wandered to an image of me doing AM6 again and going through all kinds of difficulties and issues it brought up, and I think it was implied that going through that kind of hard training would finally make me worthy, i.e. deserve sex w. b. w. Of course that not right, so this follows:
I wouldn't say that I've been putting of my responsibility to the subliminals. I know they're inanimate, and I often think of them as listening to instructions, like I'm at school and I'm learning something useful. But what is true is that there has definitely appeared this new concept of my subconscious, who is separate from me. Whereas before I'd say I took responsibility for my action and went out 2-5 times a week for some 1.5 years every week, now I've been trying to take responsibility by examining and trying to perfect this subconscious (beliefs, etc), and then its HIS responsibility to throw me into situations and make shit happen for me.
Its pretty clear that results wise, I was talking to a shit ton more people a year ago, and I was only having way more sex. When I started with this belief-centered thing, I drifted away from taking direct action. Which was good, because I was doing all I could, I didn't really know what I wanted and I didn't have the self-validation and sense of direction that I have now. Once I started to see that I'm doing a lot of stuff that I don't really want to be doing just to get "practice", or laid without a decent connection, it had the effect of pushing me away from that kind of action. But now it seems I'm, in fact, not taking direct responsibility of my results anymore. If I wanted to have 4 girlfriends again, I don't see any reason why I couldn't make it happen now as I did then. I don't want those kind of results, but I'm also not making the effort to get what I DO want now. Basically I'm waiting for it to become effortless, which is NOT a proactive way of doing things.
My in-person interactions are going really well atm, but with stuff like texting, I somehow don't assume responsibility anymore. I feel like its a waste of time and fake and that I'm such a catch now anyway that I should just be able to say "let's go out tonight at eight, meet me here" to a new girl out of the blue after a week of silence. And when it doesn't work out, I'll blame her. But really its still my responsibility to at least first get a feel of where she's at and then see if I can quickly pace and lead her back to a more suitable state. I don't even know any NLP tricks, but you know, go with her.
Well, I'll try to keep my mind on this for a while. I'll do a PP with "I take full responsibility of my results" for 30 days straight starting today and I'll try to start seeing things more through that perspective. Feels very empowering, but what pops up instantly is "Its too much work. If I'd take full responsibility, I'd have to work 36 hours a day, I'd break everything I've built just searching for alternatives and I'd burn out in a week". But yeah, we'll see. And maybe another run of AM6 could be a good choice after SM3, even if it is in the summer ;) Just because I should already be able to have a good social life if I assumed full responsibility, and AM should support that attitude best.
Thoughts, opinions and beliefs subject to change without prior notice.
