Stage 2, Day 12. I've been re-reading the MI ebook and its definitely sinking in even deeper. I somehow forgot about it a bit and now that I'm reading it my sex drive is starting to reappear. The 1st time I read it it taught me to be more openly sexual, but now this 2nd time I'm getting the "giving" aspect of showing my desire for a woman more & more. There's also this feeling of abundance that comes with giving, I like it a lot :) I don't like asserting myself in a taking sense, but giving feels much better. I guess this is a major reason behind Natural Grounding too, you get in touch with these feelings and learn to project your appreciation towards the girls. But MI is more of a deep sexiness type of feeling than the appreciative one I got in my brief NG sessions. And it (sexiness) is a *very* enjoyable feeling for me, actually often when I'm reading the ebook I just find that I've been blissing out for the last few minutes while staring at the same chapter, lol. Its a like extacy mixed with a stimulant.. like floating in a calming pool of electricity (tension).
I was texting with the girl I'm seeing about our next meet, and she was saying she's been thinking about our "meetings" quite a bit so it'll be quite a ride if I make her wait that long.. so I asked her what is it exactly that she thinks about, and went first by telling her about what I like (she turns me on, I get out of my head, forget where I am, feel strong, etc.). In short, she said the sex is great and that I can handle her amazingly well - that I always take charge of things, that it feels like I'm very sure of myself and I know exactly what I'm doing with her, she can't explain it but I'm very determined and confident like she needs me to be, while still being tender. And she went on to write about some specific nights. I mean..... I want to be internally validated and all that, but yeah it feels pretty good to be complimented like that on those very things that I value and am trying to develop :)
^^I don't mean that as a brag, I'm just sharing. I got *way* more confident in bed sometime during AM6.. I remember I was especially in my head about putting on condoms before b/c it was so freaking difficult and then I'd come really quickly b/c I was so anxious about it. Well its still a chore, but I don't mind it that much. And its not like I actually *know* what I'm doing, its just that I'm a lot more willing to try stuff that pops in my head, and if I fumble with something I'll just laugh it off and do it again right.
I was also supposed to have a Tinder date tonight, but I guess she was too tired. I don't really mind, I feel good and I'd hate to loose sleep (tired).
I was texting with the girl I'm seeing about our next meet, and she was saying she's been thinking about our "meetings" quite a bit so it'll be quite a ride if I make her wait that long.. so I asked her what is it exactly that she thinks about, and went first by telling her about what I like (she turns me on, I get out of my head, forget where I am, feel strong, etc.). In short, she said the sex is great and that I can handle her amazingly well - that I always take charge of things, that it feels like I'm very sure of myself and I know exactly what I'm doing with her, she can't explain it but I'm very determined and confident like she needs me to be, while still being tender. And she went on to write about some specific nights. I mean..... I want to be internally validated and all that, but yeah it feels pretty good to be complimented like that on those very things that I value and am trying to develop :)
^^I don't mean that as a brag, I'm just sharing. I got *way* more confident in bed sometime during AM6.. I remember I was especially in my head about putting on condoms before b/c it was so freaking difficult and then I'd come really quickly b/c I was so anxious about it. Well its still a chore, but I don't mind it that much. And its not like I actually *know* what I'm doing, its just that I'm a lot more willing to try stuff that pops in my head, and if I fumble with something I'll just laugh it off and do it again right.
I was also supposed to have a Tinder date tonight, but I guess she was too tired. I don't really mind, I feel good and I'd hate to loose sleep (tired).
Thoughts, opinions and beliefs subject to change without prior notice.
