Stage 1, Day 28. I can't believe how good I'm feeling. Literally, I feel amazing but I'm I can't believe it'll last, so I'm trying to end it, lol :D
I'm just hooked on this clicking and tapping thing, went for hours again.. its actually cutting into my sub time and sleep time, but I guess it'll slow down soon. I'm just starting to see there's actually a good change I may be able to let myself out in the near future.. I mean let the ME out from behind the "me" I'm trying to be all the time. That's mostly behind the things I've been tapping on. Today it was related to close family members and how I relate to them and think about them. Many releases, then when I was done I took a shower and suddenly started crying/laughing so hard I couldn't stand up, its pretty surreal :D
I'm thinking I could actually DO stuff, like perform in some amateur-level dancing thing or stand up or something.. I've been thinking that I'd love to sing but I'm really self-conscious about doing that in public. Maybe, I don't know. I do know that if this keeps happening and actually turns out to carry into the real world, my results for SM3 will be something completely outside my expectations, a threesome is nothing in that scope. Some of this is already much better than regular sex as an experience. And the weird part is that tomorrow, or some time soon, I'll feel bad and it'll be like none of this ever happened and nothing's ever going to change, what is up with that??
Yeah.. I was at work mostly, so didn't see many girls. But for the short time I did, I found 3 girls looking at me, not in a sexual way, but I don't know.. just, eyes open I guess. One was standing close to me in a crowd and I saw she was looking at me with this expression like she'd just noticed her old friend or that there was something really interesting going on in the street.. I looked at her for 1 or 2 secs and I thought she MUST be looking a little past me so I looked away to not be rude and then she looked away too and she didn't look in my direction anymore. There was nothing and no one behind me, though. And I went to this class, where I was somehow the star of the show in some tired-cute way. I'm going to sleep now, maybe the world will make sense again tomorrow :D
Still only stage 1, what....
EDIT: Oh, and this girl (friend + some benefits a few times in the past) texted me about a course we're taking, saying we should practice outside class because she's getting behind.. I don't believe that, she's always been one of the best in group :D
I'm just hooked on this clicking and tapping thing, went for hours again.. its actually cutting into my sub time and sleep time, but I guess it'll slow down soon. I'm just starting to see there's actually a good change I may be able to let myself out in the near future.. I mean let the ME out from behind the "me" I'm trying to be all the time. That's mostly behind the things I've been tapping on. Today it was related to close family members and how I relate to them and think about them. Many releases, then when I was done I took a shower and suddenly started crying/laughing so hard I couldn't stand up, its pretty surreal :D
I'm thinking I could actually DO stuff, like perform in some amateur-level dancing thing or stand up or something.. I've been thinking that I'd love to sing but I'm really self-conscious about doing that in public. Maybe, I don't know. I do know that if this keeps happening and actually turns out to carry into the real world, my results for SM3 will be something completely outside my expectations, a threesome is nothing in that scope. Some of this is already much better than regular sex as an experience. And the weird part is that tomorrow, or some time soon, I'll feel bad and it'll be like none of this ever happened and nothing's ever going to change, what is up with that??
Yeah.. I was at work mostly, so didn't see many girls. But for the short time I did, I found 3 girls looking at me, not in a sexual way, but I don't know.. just, eyes open I guess. One was standing close to me in a crowd and I saw she was looking at me with this expression like she'd just noticed her old friend or that there was something really interesting going on in the street.. I looked at her for 1 or 2 secs and I thought she MUST be looking a little past me so I looked away to not be rude and then she looked away too and she didn't look in my direction anymore. There was nothing and no one behind me, though. And I went to this class, where I was somehow the star of the show in some tired-cute way. I'm going to sleep now, maybe the world will make sense again tomorrow :D
Still only stage 1, what....
EDIT: Oh, and this girl (friend + some benefits a few times in the past) texted me about a course we're taking, saying we should practice outside class because she's getting behind.. I don't believe that, she's always been one of the best in group :D
Thoughts, opinions and beliefs subject to change without prior notice.
