Journal of Alpha123

[alpha123]

I have stopped doing the Learn French sub at the same time. It was too much, I think. The first few days of stage 6 seems to go OK. As I read somewhere, the best thing is probably just to use the sub and don't worry too much about it.

Yesterday, I flirted a little with a woman, who I was sexually attracted to. At some point she mentioned her credit card debt, and this turned me off, I could tell.

I am getting more involved with the samba school. This is a good thing.

Also, I feel more positive about applying for jobs. My self esteem is better.

[Spiral]

keep going man!

[alpha123]

I am a couple of weeks into stage 6. Perhaps a little early to assess my alphaness, but anyway, I feel good about having come as far as I have. A few women makes contact. I bumped into a real sexy one today. Perhaps more curves than brains, but who knows, or cares? I could tell that she liked me. I am still a little awkward. Also today, another woman I know told me to get my hands out of my pockets. She has previously told me to stop crossing my legs. So there I am - trying. I met my former girl friend yesterday. She gave me a hug and wanted to get a copy of pictures I have taken. We were together for 3 years. I broke up with her about 4 months ago. I kind of regret it, even if the situation was quite difficult and she is a control freak. She has her reasons, and she is a nice person. I am probably not that easy myself. The work situation is somewhat better. I have started studying at evenings, to increase my chances at getting a new job. I am positive about the future.

[alpha123]

2 weeks left of stage 6.

Went to a retreat this weekend. Listened to the subs during the night and the Dharma during the day. It seems that I am more active in taking part, not pulling away so much. I couple of women I found beautiful responded to me. Not that I was running after them.

I just had an informative and friendly conversation with a prospective boss. I seems that I will get a chance of a new job.

I have tried hypnosis. It was pretty interesting. It is about giving up control in order to change. A little frightening, but this can be very powerful, I think. I will do it more.

I think in general that women like me. It is just a matter of me opening up and be more playful. I am definitely doing SM 2.0. The topic of the retreat was balance and serenity.
A week ago a met somebody who I found very sexy. She has been on my mind a little too much. It is bit like when I was a teenager, which is some time ago. I don't even know her. Quite funny. SM 2.0 will probably not bring that much calmness and serenity, I hope ;-)

[alpha123]

I have been doing a few hypnosis sessions. Now, I am quite good at going into hypnosis. When I first started out I found it very difficult. I was afraid that I could not do it. The trick is to let go. I am working on confidence and self esteem.

Monday is a big day. A job interview.

I am going abroad on a samba course in the summer.

About one week left of stage 6. I will then be off subs for three weeks. The plan is then to start SM 2.0.

[K-Train]

Good luck in the interview man, bring us back some good news! When you say hypnosis sessions, are you putting yourself under?

[alpha123]

Thanks. I hope to. I mean sessions with a hypnotist. I have tried three different. I was a bit difficult to let go. I have not tried to hypnotize myself yet.

[alpha123]

The interview went well, but I will have to wait and see if I get offered a position.

I have started on SM 2.0. I had originally planned to take two more weeks off subs, but it seems I can't wait. I am not very interested in girls at the moment, so it should be easy to spot any result.

I am off on two weeks holiday.

[alpha123]

It seems I did not get the position, but it does not worry me.

The holiday was great.

I just had a woman over who wanted my company. On Sunday I am going on a date with another one. She is kind of high class, and I am looking forward to it. I really enjoy getting to know women. I will hold my ground and not go pleasing anybody. Also, I am doing stuff with my male friends, as well as working out and practising my boxing and samba.

I have a few days left of stage one of SM 2.0.

[alpha123]

I listen to the ultrasonic for about 8 hours during the night and the trickling stream for 1-2 hours during the day. As advised, I only listen to SM. I have used hypnosis to get my finger out (as the hypnotist say) and approach girls. It seems to be working. I like being in my own company, perhaps a little too much. The downside of being in my own company, and my main motivation for doing all this, is the sneaking depression.

Some have said that it is best to turn on the sub, forget about it, and not read about other peoples experiences. This can probably reduce the painful gap of expectation and reality. Still, I find it encouraging to read posts of others, different people wanting a better life. Also, I try to learn about what I try to achieve ie. how to approach and be attractive to women.

I was out seeing a movie with a friend last night. There was quite a few nice women there. I am beginning to understand how women experience the world. They seem to be very aware, like small radars detecting and experiencing everything. Somehow I felt like I was a part of that, and that I could appreciate it.

Next project will be to join a dating site. I also hope to try speed dating.

At some point I will want a relationship. But before that, I want to have quite a few dates.

I am going on a date to night, and I look forward to it, not nervous at all. I am grateful for that.

[Shannon]

You realize that using hypnosis and the subliminal at the same time opens you up to a potential script conflict, right? One trying to do something that negates or causes odd responses from the other? Odd, unpredictable results and less effectiveness from everything in some cases? That's why we suggest using one subliminal at a time, too, and only programs from one producer at a time.

[alpha123]

Yes, I understand that. But I need more help with taking action when it comes to asking women to date me or spend time with me, and I have focused the hypnosis on that. I have just been on a date actually. It went well. We talked a lot. She touched me quite a few times and fiddled her hair, but because I am very shy and private, I did not get around to touch her. I asked another woman out also, but she did not want to. An even greater victory. I will do one more hypnosis session, and then stick to the sub only.

[alpha123]

I complimented her on her beautiful summer dress. She liked it. The cinema was fairly empty. I told her, "Where do you want to sit?" She choose two seats behind the few others that were there. When she was sitting down, her dress was (accidentally?) lifted and revealing the most wonderful long and slender legs I have ever seen, from the perfect feet with red toe nails, in high heals with clear straps, up to the lovely calfs, the beautiful knees and the well formed thighs and bum. My heart missed a beat. A character in the movie suddenly had a serious accident, and she gasped and was going to grasp my arm. I almost went into a shock, she sensed that, and did not actually grab me. During the movie, she cuddled up in the chair, enjoying herself. I didn't now what to do, other than really, really enjoy myself. I have to take this woman to the opera as soon as possible.

Later we went for a drink, sitting beside each other. She touched my hand several times. At some point she asked me, "What have you been doing today?". I could of course not say that I had been making a profile on a dating service and sending messages to more than 20 women, so I said, "I have been reading", well sort of reading dating profiles. And now I am very busy answering and sending messages.

I have to remember to do prayer and meditation in order to stay sane.

[Shannon]

Do you really like this woman? Because she really likes you. And if you relax and open up to her, and communicate with her, you can get her. But if you're still looking... what's your goal?