I AM the SEX, the MONEY and the POWER (DMSI v2.4)

[DisneylandUSA]

v2.4 is DEFINITELY doing something under the hood. The resistance / sadness over #3 is fading really fast.

Was at the store buying some food. Got to the register, didn't even realize that I was singing and dancing to the song playing until the clerk (brunette, 6.5/10) look at me with this really dreamy look and smile.

Stopped when I realized she was looking at me. She began to blush and stammer, saying: "No, no -- don't stop, you've got an amazing singing voice." She then proceeded to start rambling on about a bunch of crap while staring into my eyes and smiling.

Solid hit.

Singing and Dancing. Great testimony. Perhaps, the 'Naturalizer' on this sub is kicking in. Next, you perform for 'American Idol' and/or 'Britain's Got Talent."

[RTBoss]

Anyone else getting random, but crazy rock hard erections?

Is this the surprise? Again, I suspect it's some kind of bed mastery. I did notice some... "sexual theatrics" I engaged in with "L," but I assumed it was just me being in the moment.

I'm getting them in bed while sleeping again. Every time I wake up it's like turning over a speed bump.

EDIT: Just saw the Cracker Barrel post. Now I'm thinkin' about the Country Boy breakfast...mmm....(not a good thought for someone who just started a PSMF, lol)

[DisneylandUSA]

Another "weepy" day. Feeling a little down about the whole #3 situation. Not to mention that I'm coming down with a bit of a cold. My mind is cloudy, I feel confused. I've got a headache, but every now and again, I feel a "pulse" of euphoria shoot through me -- the DMSI morphine drip that I've talked about in earlier posts. Like, I can literally feel a "pulse," just before the hit.

Very introverted, don't want to leave the house. Crazy, insane dreams that I can't remember, just how terrifying they were. One had a horror movie feel to it. Something out of "American Horror Story." Don't exactly remember what happened, only that they were extremely vivid and very much violent. Needless to say, the healing modules are really working a number on me. This resistance feels so different than anything I experienced in two rounds of AM6. I don't know if it's the nature of 5.5G, or if the healing modules are really working on something deep. I suspect that it's a mixture of both. I'm so torn -- I want to connect with women, but I'm very much aware of the damage that the modern woman can inflict on the psyche. They seem to be a ball of lies, deceit and manipulation, blissfully aware of it while thinking it's normal.

Was talking to my baby mama yesterday. She was telling me about how she and her new husband -- a really stand up, "pinnacle of the community" type guy -- have no secrets. I chuckled, asked her if she told him about a number of sordid events that occurred in her past. Of course, she hasn't. And what's worse, she still hangs out with the men that were involved in said sordid events. So, her husband doesn't know that she still hangs out with a group of men that did every nasty thing you can think of to her. And the mental gymnastics she took to justify why it's okay was absolutely hilarious. And all I could think is -- I'm running this subliminal that's dragging me through hell and for what? To re-enter another relationship like this? If I were going to walk along a path of hot coals, it should be because I'm running BASE 5G or something.

But this has always been a recurring issue with me. When the going gets tough, I run away, or indulge in a bunch of hedonism to cope. So... I gotta see this through.

Anyway...

Sent the hail mary, "so what's your schedule looking like" text to #3. No response. Guess that's done. Consulted my close friends about the whole ordeal. They took a look at the texts that L sent and they said the texts weren't bad at all. It's much more likely that #3 went out Saturday night, met someone new and just decided to fade away.

I'm a pretty stoic, mentally and physically resilient person, but I will say that this shit kinda hurts. In the past, I've always just internalized that pain, wrapped it up in all that hatred I had for women and just it tossed away. But now, it's starting to dawn on me that no matter how far I run, sooner or later, that pain catches up you, and you'll have to face it one way or another.

So for now, I'll stick with healing and see where it takes me.

EDIT: Went to Cracker Barrel alone for breakfast this morning (that's something I NEVER do -- eat at a restaurant alone). All the women there are generally old white women (as Cracker Barrel is a southern-styled, "mama's cooking" restaurant). Usually, being a minority, I get treated a bit out of place. Today... was crazy. Was treated as if I were a celebrity. The hostess beaming, rushing to make sure I had the perfect seat. Being served almost immediately. Constant refills. Free upgrade on the fruit. Was nuts. When I left, the woman wasn't at the register. She yells across the restaurant -- I'm coming sir, so sorry -- and dashes across to serve me.

The Baby Mama. Your 'Baby Mama' sounds like a Mother Theresa to her new husband; Wow, he's in for a Heavenly surprise :angel:

[chaosvrgn]

Chalk this up to another weird manifestation. The resistance / sadness had pretty much faded away. I was happy, was killing the business grind today. Found a profitable new eCommerce niche. Stumbled upon a COMPLETELY FREE, e-mail marketing automation suite and was setting it up (it's called Mautic, for those interested and it's DOOOOPE).

I hear the phone go off.

It's #3. She says she's been working 10 hour shifts (she's a doctor). Will be home by 7 most nights but has to get up at 4. Not sure if that's a rejection or explanation or what. I'm pretty irritated because I had already written her off and was working on three new prospects. I'm attending a marketer's event this weekend and got this big ass executive hotel suite. Someone's getting f*cked in that room.

Gonna wait a few hours, then tell her to meet me at the marketing summit Saturday. If she can make it, she can make it. If not, whatever.

I find the timing really odd. Three days of resistance. No text. Resistance wears off. Text. Everyone else has been talking about the weird manifestations too.

[Blink]

I find the timing really odd. Three days of resistance. No text. Resistance wears off. Text.

Subs or no subs, I notice things usually happen like that in life in general. Subs might have made it happen way faster though!

[SargeMaximus]

I find the timing really odd. Three days of resistance. No text. Resistance wears off. Text.

Subs or no subs, I notice things usually happen like that in life in general. Subs might have made it happen way faster though!

I've noticed that too. It's like a pause while the next level loads.

[chaosvrgn]

EDIT: Just saw the Cracker Barrel post. Now I'm thinkin' about the Country Boy breakfast...mmm....(not a good thought for someone who just started a PSMF, lol)

lol, I got the Smokehouse with a cup of freezing cold Apple Cider. Seemed fitting for such a day.

[chaosvrgn]

Texted #3. Told her that I'm hosting an event on Saturday and I want her to be there. Just like that. Now that the resistance is wearing off, I'm finding myself being rather dominant. My voice has deepened, again. I'm speaking loudly and with authority.

If she declines, I have another potential in the works. Very beautiful woman, just got her Masters in Economics. She's afraid of being Catfished, though. So she wants me to send more pics. I only have one on my profiles.

I told her to give me her name and number and I'll take a pic of myself while holding a piece of paper with her name, lol.

[Benjamin]

She yells across the restaurant -- I'm coming sir

[chaosvrgn]

Cracking up at Ben's comment.

The resistance has passed. I feel... absolutely amazing, outside of the tiredness from combating this cold. Unstoppable, fearless. I've finally mapped out my core IM business and it's looking quite profitable.

Dominance is on point. I'm messaging women and pretty much giving them directives. Give me your number. We're going here at this time. Getting good responses.

I have so much motivation that it's INSANE. So much energy that I'm having to take sleeping pills just to fall asleep.

For years -- even after two cycles of AM6 -- I've had this deep seated sadness that would hide beneath my emotions. After the resistance passed, I feel about 90% clear. I can still sense it lingering there, but we'll get to that soon enough.

Starting to get the effects I was having from the first week of v2.4. Reminds me of a more "realistic" v2.3 -- which had crazy, off the charts self-effects, but felt so off. Unnatural. Like I took a hit of a subliminal drug. This feels organic and natural.

Went to McDonald's earlier to get an iced coffee. The clerk, a cute lil black girl was staring into my damn soul or something. It was so strong and full of intent that I couldn't even look at her. Hoping the next wave of healing will take care of that. Also, still having slight performance anxiety. Dunno where that's coming from -- never really had that before, but I guess it's something that needs healing too.

Loving this sub! I feel like sheer power. In fact...

I AM THE SEX!!!!

Gonna change my journal's title to reflect that.

[chaosvrgn]

Resistance is back. Rage / Irritation based. It's that "fuck the world, I'll do as I please" feeling. No desire to really talk to anyone, don't even want to work on my business. I kinda just wanna play video games all day and watch Hulu. Won't though -- I've got some serious momentum and I want to see this through. I'll probably hit the gym / boxing tonight, if anything other than to get out and test the aura a bit... and also beat the hell out of the punching bags.

Had some violent dreams last night that I don't really remember. I know they're related to today's mood, because I do remember screaming something along the lines of, "you don't fucking control me," to some entity in the dream. Oh, and driving a sports car really fast. Oddly enough, even though the dream was violent, I seemed... to enjoy it?

Was just at the store grabbing shipping supplies. The same clerk that I've mentioned before, Monica, started beaming and waved as I came in. Got some hard, long stares from a Latina manager that worked there, but I think that bitch was watching me to see if I was going to steal something. How the hell would I get away with stealing big ass boxes, woman? Why would I risk my freedom over that? I felt like bopping her in the head with a roll of bubble wrap, but whatever.

Everyone I talk to seems to be over-accomodating. This aura definitely has status. However, manifestations are down compared to v2.3 (my Tinder and OkCupid accounts were popping) and now, everything's dying off even though I'm being more dominant in my day to day dealings. Dunno if there's a lot of sexual in it. Dzemoo and Sick may have been right -- perhaps v2.3 is that much more sexual. Or, maybe I'm not paying attention to IOIs like I used to. I just seem to be gravitating between apathy for women and downright disdain. I almost deleted all my dating apps, which would effectively cut me off from all women, considering I live in a town with a fucking population of 1700, and I definitely ain't getting involved with these THOTS. Whatever. Just gonna let the healing do it's thing for awhile. Enjoy my solitude.

Posting is becoming a chore. Feels like I'm writing the same shit over and over and I'm wondering if anyone's even getting anything out of it. But, that's not up to me to decide, so I'll be a good tester and keep writing, even if it's drivel that ain't worth shat.

So, yeah... hope ya'll have a better day, full of squirting pussies and stuff.

[Shannon]

It's useful. Don't worry about that.

[Steven]

Dominance is on point. I'm messaging women and pretty much giving them directives. Give me your number. We're going here at this time. Getting good responses.

Could you elaborate on this? When I've done something like this in the past, I tend to get resistance, hesitation, "digging in their heels", etc.

Could you give some specific quotes you are using to get these good responses and what the good responses are?

[chaosvrgn]

I seem to be giving off a celebrity vibe. Not necessarily sexual, but women are definitely are in awe of my presence, immediately switching into a "pleasing" mood.

This is the surprise, isn't it? Shannon was thinking of including it in v3, but went ahead to included it now. Man... could you ramp this up a bit more?

MAXIMUM QUIRPLES?

Steven: If you're getting resistance and hesitation, it's because the woman is perceiving you as incongruent. Your body language and aura aren't matching the authority you're trying to give off. Easiest way to handle these situations is to remain calm when they resist and focus on what you're going to do. They can come along for the ride or not. Be willing to walk away.

For example: I don't really ask women out on dates. I tell them what I'm doing on [x] night and they're welcome to join.