05-26-2019, 12:23 PM
2 months with LTU.
I feel more and more grounded Life is starting to seem normal again rather than like a movie that is played up in front of my eyes and I am starting to recognize who I am again. I can more and more keep my head straight around things and not be sucked down into the worry and fear I have been living in before. I started to read again, and working on finding ways to calm myself and find ways to relax. I am not as worried longer about going to work.
I went out this weekend and had a really good time actually, met with some friends who had taken ecstasy and they kept asking what I had take because I just enjoyed the music and dancing so much, haha. I got invited to a party with them later this summer, and they seemed just very happy to have me around (which probably had more to do with them taking ecstasy than me, lol).But the important part was that I could just enjoy myself and dancing and didn't felt worried about what they though about me, etc.
Also had some conversations with some new people and some good laughs. Not feeling like my mood is in the hands of other people, but actually felt like I was present and was in control of myself (which is a huge improvement). My memory is better and better. I'm more relaxed when I wake up in the morning and I'm getting deeper contact in my meditation.
I feel more and more grounded Life is starting to seem normal again rather than like a movie that is played up in front of my eyes and I am starting to recognize who I am again. I can more and more keep my head straight around things and not be sucked down into the worry and fear I have been living in before. I started to read again, and working on finding ways to calm myself and find ways to relax. I am not as worried longer about going to work.
I went out this weekend and had a really good time actually, met with some friends who had taken ecstasy and they kept asking what I had take because I just enjoyed the music and dancing so much, haha. I got invited to a party with them later this summer, and they seemed just very happy to have me around (which probably had more to do with them taking ecstasy than me, lol).But the important part was that I could just enjoy myself and dancing and didn't felt worried about what they though about me, etc.
Also had some conversations with some new people and some good laughs. Not feeling like my mood is in the hands of other people, but actually felt like I was present and was in control of myself (which is a huge improvement). My memory is better and better. I'm more relaxed when I wake up in the morning and I'm getting deeper contact in my meditation.
