Fear No More - Overcoming Fear 5.75G Journal (V1)

[Breeze]

So, roller coaster with fever in past 48 hours (none now). Shortness of breath on rare occasions (not alarming). Possibly covid, will get tested on Monday. It wouldn't be wise to continue with the the sub, or would it be @Shannon

[RTBoss]

So, roller coaster with fever in past 48 hours (none now). Shortness of breath on rare occasions (not alarming). Possibly covid, will get tested on Monday. It wouldn't be wise to continue with the the sub, or would it be @Shannon

It'd be "wise" to get on MIR V3 immediately.

[Breeze]

It'd be "wise" to get on MIR V3 immediately.

My first thought as well, but not a viable option with the funds I have available at the moment.

[Breeze]

A little update. That was a false alarm  Didn't turn out to be anything, I recovered during my rest days and continued the sub as it is without any problems. Except that all I did was resist afterward with many ups and downs.

In the past couple of months, I found myself sneaking into old mental habits and mental states I thought I had overcome. Needless to say, that was my first serious patch of resistance. I thought I'd overcome it if I keep listening to the sub as it is and do nothing special. But one week after the next, and the next, and I couldn't breakthrough. I switched to Ultrasonic from Hybrid in hopes that it would make any difference, but never had great results with Ultrasonic, and not this time around either. After what felt like banging my head against a wall, I stopped listening all together for a couple of weeks. For what it is worth, considered it the end of the journey when it comes to OF.

But the new year comes with new hopes. I thought I'd get going again, maybe the break helped. I downloaded Masked on my phone, headphones in, pumped up the volume by a click, and voila! A breakthrough, finally. Masked is technically the weakest version, but if it is helping me overcome resistance, I am not complaining. 

I believe that the source of my resistance was/is the uncertainty about the future and the learned helplessness that can arise from it. I had planned to start my restaurant in 2020, but covid ruined any such plans. And 2021 is not looking too bright yet to endeavor on such a mission. And if I do go that route, I have to be meticulous about it. Also, have to sort out which part of my reasoning is based on fear and which part is not. But it's all unclear at the moment. I felt hopeless. 

Ever since I started OF, I've been constantly updating what sort of life I want to lead. And I am very much aware of my tendency to always live for the future. To live for the next moment. But as long as I am executing, I do a splendid at not rushing through life, and not aiming for "glory" that I never need in the first place. But life is full of opportunities, and I want to go back to college to finish my studies, as it will open many more doors for me. But juggling the things I potentially want to do is tricky, and maybe not wise either to divert my focuses like that. I am keeping away from making a decision that I feel guilty about changing in the future and keeping my options open. I don't have to rush, and it doesn't have to be one thing or the other. But it's been great progress from feeling hopeless to exploring all these options. 

I see that OF V2 is out, exciting! I'll save up for it and switch to it as soon as I can.

[Shannon]

There is a big difference between "weakest" and "gentlest". Masked is not the weakest. It is the gentlest approach. And if it wasn't what some people need, believe me, I could save a lot of time not making it. It is there for a good reason, which you have discovered. Sometimes, you need the gentle approach.

[Breeze]

@Shannon - Gentle approaching is making all the difference in the world, yup.  I am going to stick to it for the upcoming subs as well.

This post is the end of the OF V1 journey for me. And it is by no means a testimonial, rather simply a snapshot of where I am. I am going to get OF V2 in the next few days and give it a run. It's been a couple of cycles since I've switched to masked and it has been absolutely incredible. There's no price you can put on being zen. Safe, and secure in your own skin. Happy, and living in the moment. And this state of being has dominated all my run except the patch where I hit resistance and felt hopeless. But that is sorted out.  I'd be happy to run it for the rest of my life and not look for more, but leveling up is the name of the game.

It is sort of a "neutral" state. I am progressive towards healthy self-esteem, solid self-confidence, but there are no fireworks attached to it. I believe if I run any of the subs focused on that, I'd have insane results, But I don't need to. And I am patient enough to take all my time with OF journey continuing with the next version. Can you imagine how amazing it would be to run DMSI, for instance, not because you need the results, but for the playfulness of it? I'd like to get there. There have been some insecurities popping out now and then, but I've been able to handle them logically. Sooner or later, I look forward to getting rid of them completely. 

On the social front, I don't get depleted anymore being social. I, no longer, feel that I fit the stereotype of being an introvert anymore. Sure, I need my time alone, but I can be around people all the time and not feel like I need to sneak away and recharge myself. I am on my way to starting my own business, which has been tricky waters to navigate in these times. But I do have trust in myself and believe I can take calculated risks and succeed. It's been years, I can't let the fear of failure hold me back. 

What else, yes, I am going to take a week or two off and start OF V2 and run it the entirety of this year. No rush . The future is exciting with 6G around, and all the multiple stages that will come with it. I don't mind taking as much time as OF needs.

[Shannon]

Very good to hear.

[Benjamin]

Awesome, will be good to see how V2 goes for you.