06-04-2018, 04:14 PM
(This post was last modified: 06-04-2018, 05:05 PM by AsIGotHitByACar.)
Hello, this is my second attempt at using subliminal. In 2015 I had tried them out, but I didn't stick with them for very long as I got into a relationship and didn't know how to use them discretely.
Mine is a very long story so I'll try and keep things as brief as possible. I have low self-esteem, a lack of confidence and am very insecure about and around women. I realise I've suffered a lot of trauma in my life, including what I now realise was bullying. During my teens I was labelled 'gay' and this dented my confidence and made me extremely self-conscious. I have on a few occasions, had some bad friends who who have treated me badly and abandoned me. A friend of mine was assaulted by a teacher when we were at school, which reported, though the teacher got reinstated waited until we were 18, when he filed a defamation lawsuit against us and staggeringly, he won. Perhaps not just because of these evens, I have always been very sensitive so a lot of damage has been done.
For years I would not work because I was convinced I couldn't - I had been bullied in a previous job and it became a core belief of mine that I would always be treated in a similar manner. I felt very afraid and hopeless, avoidant... I hid away. I'm 37 now and in recent years I've tried to get my life back on track, firstly through volunteering and in the last year I have returned to college, which was an enormous step for me, as I was 'out of it' for years. It has not been easy, however.
For many years I tried to get musical projects going and hoped to be involved in the local music scene, but was met with a lot of disinterest and rejection. No one is entitled to anything in such spheres but it solidified my view of being an outsider (against my wishes) and generally deficient. In the last two years, things in this area have turned around for me a lot, which is absolutely wonderful of course but not enough to solve all my long-lasting problems, of course.
I've always been insecure around women to the point of being terrified. I know this is not uncommon. When I look back, I realise I've actually had a lot of girlfriends over the years, though I can't even understand how I've managed that. Not that having numerous relationships is anything to brag about, of course, in fact I don't think I can say I've ever been able to be completely in love with anyone from my past who was that interested in me. I've felt incredibly strongly and passionate about women I have had feelings for and the inevitable rejection has usually been absolutely shattering for me. In 2014-15, I had a correspondence over an entire year with a woman I spent the night with during a holiday, though when I returned to see her the following year, she was very apathetic towards me and although we did spend one more night together, it realised afterwards she probably just felt sorry for me and didn't share my feelings at all. I had spent all of that time believing there was something between us, as we had been seemingly so close. I felt so strongly about her, that I actually think this rejection was the worst and most painful thing I have ever been through. I ruminate constantly and the years following were absolute hell, I could not stop analyse whatever I must have done wrong to ruin things or wonder how she had even viewed me all along. I like to think the pain has subsided, but she keeps coming back in my thoughts. I had a dream last night involving being back together with her and its just so painful to wake up to.
I'm desperately lonely at the moment and I'm just too full of a lifetime of fear to try and meet new people without the accompanying terror and fear of rejection. I went on a date with a wonderful woman a couple of months ago and it went so well, but the line went dead. I was crushed, not to the same extent as previously, but I feel I just don't give off confident vibes and can't even if I try and force them. People just know.
I'm back here because I paid for two expensive hypnosis sessions a couple of months ago. The person I saw have me an audio recording to listen to twice a day, which made me seek out my sleepphones from my earlier short-lived attempt at using subliminals. I made a playlist on my phone of her hypnosis recording from falling asleep to and waking up to, and filled the hours between with wave sounds. Which was what reminded me of this site - why not use one of the free subliminals, if I'm going to have sleepphones on all night anyway? So I tried a month of free ASC wave sounds bookended by her hypnosis recording, to see if that would help.
The results? There weren't any. I returned to this forum and read a lot about resistance and that could suggest why I wasn't feeling any more confident, during a time when I had been feeling very down on my luck. A few weeks ago I switched to the free version of EPRHA after I had heard that it is better to clear out emotional baggage, which I have in spades, before embarking on ASC. So there is not really a lot more I have to report, I've missed a couple of nights here and there but I'm attempting to sleep with EPRHA in my ears from when I go to bed to when I wake up and occasionally for brief periods during the day. I'm waiting for something to happen. I can't tell if anything is being stirred in me as I often have dreams about people from the past I miss or used to love but ended up being hurt by, and this has continued since starting EPRHA.
Perhaps I've typed all I can for now. I'd be interested to hear if anyone had any thoughts or recommendations. If I can actually begin to experience some obvious results, then I will by all means continue for six or however many recommended months before switching to another subliminal. If I feel it is actually working for me, I would have no qualms about paying for a more advanced subliminal. It could be too early days, but so far - not much to report. Thanks for reading this.
Mine is a very long story so I'll try and keep things as brief as possible. I have low self-esteem, a lack of confidence and am very insecure about and around women. I realise I've suffered a lot of trauma in my life, including what I now realise was bullying. During my teens I was labelled 'gay' and this dented my confidence and made me extremely self-conscious. I have on a few occasions, had some bad friends who who have treated me badly and abandoned me. A friend of mine was assaulted by a teacher when we were at school, which reported, though the teacher got reinstated waited until we were 18, when he filed a defamation lawsuit against us and staggeringly, he won. Perhaps not just because of these evens, I have always been very sensitive so a lot of damage has been done.
For years I would not work because I was convinced I couldn't - I had been bullied in a previous job and it became a core belief of mine that I would always be treated in a similar manner. I felt very afraid and hopeless, avoidant... I hid away. I'm 37 now and in recent years I've tried to get my life back on track, firstly through volunteering and in the last year I have returned to college, which was an enormous step for me, as I was 'out of it' for years. It has not been easy, however.
For many years I tried to get musical projects going and hoped to be involved in the local music scene, but was met with a lot of disinterest and rejection. No one is entitled to anything in such spheres but it solidified my view of being an outsider (against my wishes) and generally deficient. In the last two years, things in this area have turned around for me a lot, which is absolutely wonderful of course but not enough to solve all my long-lasting problems, of course.
I've always been insecure around women to the point of being terrified. I know this is not uncommon. When I look back, I realise I've actually had a lot of girlfriends over the years, though I can't even understand how I've managed that. Not that having numerous relationships is anything to brag about, of course, in fact I don't think I can say I've ever been able to be completely in love with anyone from my past who was that interested in me. I've felt incredibly strongly and passionate about women I have had feelings for and the inevitable rejection has usually been absolutely shattering for me. In 2014-15, I had a correspondence over an entire year with a woman I spent the night with during a holiday, though when I returned to see her the following year, she was very apathetic towards me and although we did spend one more night together, it realised afterwards she probably just felt sorry for me and didn't share my feelings at all. I had spent all of that time believing there was something between us, as we had been seemingly so close. I felt so strongly about her, that I actually think this rejection was the worst and most painful thing I have ever been through. I ruminate constantly and the years following were absolute hell, I could not stop analyse whatever I must have done wrong to ruin things or wonder how she had even viewed me all along. I like to think the pain has subsided, but she keeps coming back in my thoughts. I had a dream last night involving being back together with her and its just so painful to wake up to.
I'm desperately lonely at the moment and I'm just too full of a lifetime of fear to try and meet new people without the accompanying terror and fear of rejection. I went on a date with a wonderful woman a couple of months ago and it went so well, but the line went dead. I was crushed, not to the same extent as previously, but I feel I just don't give off confident vibes and can't even if I try and force them. People just know.
I'm back here because I paid for two expensive hypnosis sessions a couple of months ago. The person I saw have me an audio recording to listen to twice a day, which made me seek out my sleepphones from my earlier short-lived attempt at using subliminals. I made a playlist on my phone of her hypnosis recording from falling asleep to and waking up to, and filled the hours between with wave sounds. Which was what reminded me of this site - why not use one of the free subliminals, if I'm going to have sleepphones on all night anyway? So I tried a month of free ASC wave sounds bookended by her hypnosis recording, to see if that would help.
The results? There weren't any. I returned to this forum and read a lot about resistance and that could suggest why I wasn't feeling any more confident, during a time when I had been feeling very down on my luck. A few weeks ago I switched to the free version of EPRHA after I had heard that it is better to clear out emotional baggage, which I have in spades, before embarking on ASC. So there is not really a lot more I have to report, I've missed a couple of nights here and there but I'm attempting to sleep with EPRHA in my ears from when I go to bed to when I wake up and occasionally for brief periods during the day. I'm waiting for something to happen. I can't tell if anything is being stirred in me as I often have dreams about people from the past I miss or used to love but ended up being hurt by, and this has continued since starting EPRHA.
Perhaps I've typed all I can for now. I'd be interested to hear if anyone had any thoughts or recommendations. If I can actually begin to experience some obvious results, then I will by all means continue for six or however many recommended months before switching to another subliminal. If I feel it is actually working for me, I would have no qualms about paying for a more advanced subliminal. It could be too early days, but so far - not much to report. Thanks for reading this.
