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+--- Thread: EPRHA (free version) (/Thread-EPRHA-free-version--9681)
EPRHA (free version) - AsIGotHitByACar - 06-04-2018
Hello, this is my second attempt at using subliminal. In 2015 I had tried them out, but I didn't stick with them for very long as I got into a relationship and didn't know how to use them discretely.
Mine is a very long story so I'll try and keep things as brief as possible. I have low self-esteem, a lack of confidence and am very insecure about and around women. I realise I've suffered a lot of trauma in my life, including what I now realise was bullying. During my teens I was labelled 'gay' and this dented my confidence and made me extremely self-conscious. I have on a few occasions, had some bad friends who who have treated me badly and abandoned me. A friend of mine was assaulted by a teacher when we were at school, which reported, though the teacher got reinstated waited until we were 18, when he filed a defamation lawsuit against us and staggeringly, he won. Perhaps not just because of these evens, I have always been very sensitive so a lot of damage has been done.
For years I would not work because I was convinced I couldn't - I had been bullied in a previous job and it became a core belief of mine that I would always be treated in a similar manner. I felt very afraid and hopeless, avoidant... I hid away. I'm 37 now and in recent years I've tried to get my life back on track, firstly through volunteering and in the last year I have returned to college, which was an enormous step for me, as I was 'out of it' for years. It has not been easy, however.
For many years I tried to get musical projects going and hoped to be involved in the local music scene, but was met with a lot of disinterest and rejection. No one is entitled to anything in such spheres but it solidified my view of being an outsider (against my wishes) and generally deficient. In the last two years, things in this area have turned around for me a lot, which is absolutely wonderful of course but not enough to solve all my long-lasting problems, of course.
I've always been insecure around women to the point of being terrified. I know this is not uncommon. When I look back, I realise I've actually had a lot of girlfriends over the years, though I can't even understand how I've managed that. Not that having numerous relationships is anything to brag about, of course, in fact I don't think I can say I've ever been able to be completely in love with anyone from my past who was that interested in me. I've felt incredibly strongly and passionate about women I have had feelings for and the inevitable rejection has usually been absolutely shattering for me. In 2014-15, I had a correspondence over an entire year with a woman I spent the night with during a holiday, though when I returned to see her the following year, she was very apathetic towards me and although we did spend one more night together, it realised afterwards she probably just felt sorry for me and didn't share my feelings at all. I had spent all of that time believing there was something between us, as we had been seemingly so close. I felt so strongly about her, that I actually think this rejection was the worst and most painful thing I have ever been through. I ruminate constantly and the years following were absolute hell, I could not stop analyse whatever I must have done wrong to ruin things or wonder how she had even viewed me all along. I like to think the pain has subsided, but she keeps coming back in my thoughts. I had a dream last night involving being back together with her and its just so painful to wake up to.
I'm desperately lonely at the moment and I'm just too full of a lifetime of fear to try and meet new people without the accompanying terror and fear of rejection. I went on a date with a wonderful woman a couple of months ago and it went so well, but the line went dead. I was crushed, not to the same extent as previously, but I feel I just don't give off confident vibes and can't even if I try and force them. People just know.
I'm back here because I paid for two expensive hypnosis sessions a couple of months ago. The person I saw have me an audio recording to listen to twice a day, which made me seek out my sleepphones from my earlier short-lived attempt at using subliminals. I made a playlist on my phone of her hypnosis recording from falling asleep to and waking up to, and filled the hours between with wave sounds. Which was what reminded me of this site - why not use one of the free subliminals, if I'm going to have sleepphones on all night anyway? So I tried a month of free ASC wave sounds bookended by her hypnosis recording, to see if that would help.
The results? There weren't any. I returned to this forum and read a lot about resistance and that could suggest why I wasn't feeling any more confident, during a time when I had been feeling very down on my luck. A few weeks ago I switched to the free version of EPRHA after I had heard that it is better to clear out emotional baggage, which I have in spades, before embarking on ASC. So there is not really a lot more I have to report, I've missed a couple of nights here and there but I'm attempting to sleep with EPRHA in my ears from when I go to bed to when I wake up and occasionally for brief periods during the day. I'm waiting for something to happen. I can't tell if anything is being stirred in me as I often have dreams about people from the past I miss or used to love but ended up being hurt by, and this has continued since starting EPRHA.
Perhaps I've typed all I can for now. I'd be interested to hear if anyone had any thoughts or recommendations. If I can actually begin to experience some obvious results, then I will by all means continue for six or however many recommended months before switching to another subliminal. If I feel it is actually working for me, I would have no qualms about paying for a more advanced subliminal. It could be too early days, but so far - not much to report. Thanks for reading this.
RE: EPHRA (free version) - Zane - 06-04-2018
I would say that u give EPRAH a shot. Do a 3 month run minimum and after that if u want to, then u can jump to EPRAH-2 as it is much more advance than EPRAH-1.
You can also journal here so that u can keep track of ur progress.
RE: EPHRA (free version) - Benjamin - 06-04-2018
Sounds like EPRHA is a good place to start. If you do get to the point you're noticing good results and wish to purchase something then the updated version of it E2 is alot more effective with healing. It also works at your own pace and is more gentle.
http://www.subliminal-shop.com/product/emotional-pain-relief-healing-aid-2-0/
Definately sounds like an extended period on it would be good. Keep in mind it takes time.
I noticed you posted the journal twice, it would be best to just keep one of them so there's not seperate comments on both to confuse people. If you're going to talk about women and such then the mens 18+ section may be better. I will get rid of the other one.
Quote:I would recommend AM7
Sometimes I wonder about the advice you're giving Zane, seeing that AM7 doesn't even exist and alot of the other things you've recommended people.
RE: EPHRA (free version) - AsIGotHitByACar - 06-04-2018
I deleted my post in the other forum when I noticed this was the 18+ forum. Also, it appears to be more active, so I reposted here, if that’s thats ok.
RE: EPRHA (free version) - Zane - 06-04-2018
(06-04-2018, 04:51 PM)Benjamin Wrote: Sounds like EPRHA is a good place to start. If you do get to the point you're noticing good results and wish to purchase something then the updated version of it E2 is alot more effective with healing. It also works at your own pace and is more gentle.
http://www.subliminal-shop.com/product/emotional-pain-relief-healing-aid-2-0/
Definately sounds like an extended period on it would be good. Keep in mind it takes time.
I noticed you posted the journal twice, it would be best to just keep one of them so there's not seperate comments on both to confuse people. If you're going to talk about women and such then the mens 18+ section may be better. I will get rid of the other one.
Quote:I would recommend AM7
Sometimes I wonder about the advice you're giving Zane, seeing that AM7 doesn't even exist and alot of the other things you've recommended people.
Sorry I ment AM6.. but I already edited out that part of comment.. U replied late..lol.
I promise I am not doing this intentionally... Idk what's happening
RE: EPRHA (free version) - AsIGotHitByACar - 06-05-2018
A strange dream last night, where I found myself having to not only attend classes but also live with my ex-girlfriend from five years ago, who I never actually lived with or got to meet her family, but in the dream I was bizarrely living with them all. In reality she bullied me out of the relationship and it was very upsetting, as you would imagine. In the dream she never spoke to me, but her parents treated me well and I could sense she seemed embarrassed about how she had behaved towards me in the past.
Now this is not far away from the sort of dream I might have even if I wasn't using a sub, but it's worth noting down anyway. Another former friend also showed up later, when the dream had moved onto matters unrelated. Again, I semi-often have people show up in my dreams from my past who I am estranged from - extra proof, as if I needed it, that they have not left my mind at all. I can't be certain if is this was caused by EPRHA or if it would have just happened anyway.
RE: EPRHA (free version) - AsIGotHitByACar - 06-06-2018
A question to those who have used this sub, particularly those who started off with it as their very first - how long did it take for you to feel something/anything was happening? Did you have to wait many weeks? What would you say it was that you could feel? Perhaps I am very impatient, but after a month of initially trying the free ASC and something like 3 weeks since the switch to free EPRHA, I hope I can be forgiven for feeling impatient and desperate for something noticeable to happen.
RE: EPRHA (free version) - Shannon - 06-06-2018
What are your usage patterns?
RE: EPRHA (free version) - AsIGotHitByACar - 06-06-2018
(06-06-2018, 08:59 AM)Shannon Wrote: What are your usage patterns?
I have a playlist so I can listen to the masked ocean sub all night on my sleepphones. In the last few days I have been trying to listen for a few hours during the day. Yesterday I might have gotten in about 16 hours from overnight and during a long studying session, then leaving my bluetooth speaker on for a few more hours at a low-ish volume which I watched TV. But this is me trying to step things up in the last couple of days, generally it has been overnight listening for the last few weeks. Of course, I am not always completely in control of the earpads of the sleepphones staying on all night. For the most part, I think the sound has been getting to my ears, though.
The ultrasonic sub gave me a headache and made me feel sick when I tried it, which I know was due to me using it incorrectly but it had put me off trying it again for at least the time being. I used to sleep with rain / wave sounds anyway, so I prefer the masked.
RE: EPRHA (free version) - AsIGotHitByACar - 06-06-2018
A fear I have is that nothing works for me. Counselling didn't work. Primal therapy didn't work. CBT didn't work. Psychotherapy didn't work. EMDR didn't work. Hypnosis didn't work. Mindfulness did not work. The amount of times I have heard different people say "maybe this just doesn't work for you" is so predictably depressing. What, if anything, will? Is this amount of failure what causes such resistance?
I am not chemically mentally ill. I've developed a shit view of myself and it feels like it will only marginally improve at best.
I get told I'm actually fairly good-looking. I'm not certain I am, I can't believe in it. How I carry myself is reflected in how others view / treat me. I so badly want to change this.
RE: EPRHA (free version) - Benjamin - 06-06-2018
I definately think because of those fears that E2 would be alot better, but I can see you're using V1 for the moment to prove it to yourself.
It takes time, especially if you have deeper truama and such.
RE: EPRHA (free version) - AsIGotHitByACar - 06-07-2018
(06-06-2018, 09:28 PM)Benjamin Wrote: I definately think because of those fears that E2 would be alot better, but I can see you're using V1 for the moment to prove it to yourself.
It takes time, especially if you have deeper truama and such.
I can't justify using one of the paid subs until I've felt something from a free one. As a student, it's just not money I can be throwing around until I am convinced it is working on me. It was my understanding that the free EPRHA is perfectly good for this, though it remains to be seen as I approach a month into using it. It feels like my last hope though at this stage - what else is going to help me change my way of thinking after all the aforementioned therapies have failed on me?
I used to dismiss my trauma and always think that many more people were less fortunate than me and that I need to just get over myself. I would even think this in my teens when my dad used to take his anger out on me, even to the point of me being hysterical with fear. I guess in hindsight it's easy to see where it all went wrong.
RE: EPRHA (free version) - Greenduck - 06-07-2018
Hi man! And welcome to this forums.
The feeling I get from reading your text is that you care to much about what people think about you to be able to live your life freely. You are concerned about being judged and don't feel that you have enough solid ground under your feet to take on life and just pursue whatever it is that you want, that fear is holding you back.
In case I am somewhat in the ballpark, I think that fear is your biggest enemy. And I can relate to that. I got hit by depression and got lost into deep worry and fear, which took away all of my confidence and made me unable to do almost anything for around 1 year. But I have come a huge way from that, and even though I feel insecurities, they don't have the same power over me, and I am feeling more safe and comfortable in the world for every day that goes.
What have helped me have been multiple things, subliminals (I have been using EHPRA 2.0 for around 30 days) have been one thing. What really helped me understand how I should proceed with healing myself, and that it was possible to heal, was a book called "the body keeps the score". Which is about how our bodies store our worries and that our insecurities stems from that. When we are connected to our bodies we don't worry about daily things, we are comfortable in our skins, and we can go along and live our lives. Until I realized that, I thought _I_ was flawed, that something was wrong with me, but that made me realize that I am just a human being who currently "live" in a damanged body. So I started working with my body, with Yoga, and with a thing called trauma releasing exercises (great book about that btw - you can probably get your library at school to buy it if they don't have it) - and that stuff have really helped me get back.
So just wanted to give you some things that have helped me to recover from insecurities and become more comfortable in my skin:
- Yoga. I have practised a yoga called Kindalini-yoga
- Trauma releasing exercises
- Meditation - Google for root chakra meditation (a lot to read on chakras also, I have used that system to guide my healing, it's the theory behind yoga
- Cold showers and breathing exercises - google for "Wim Hof"
Best of luck and happy to see you here!
RE: EPRHA (free version) - AsIGotHitByACar - 06-08-2018
(06-07-2018, 01:43 PM)Greenduck Wrote: Hi man! And welcome to this forums.
The feeling I get from reading your text is that you care to much about what people think about you to be able to live your life freely. You are concerned about being judged and don't feel that you have enough solid ground under your feet to take on life and just pursue whatever it is that you want, that fear is holding you back.
In case I am somewhat in the ballpark, I think that fear is your biggest enemy. And I can relate to that. I got hit by depression and got lost into deep worry and fear, which took away all of my confidence and made me unable to do almost anything for around 1 year. But I have come a huge way from that, and even though I feel insecurities, they don't have the same power over me, and I am feeling more safe and comfortable in the world for every day that goes.
What have helped me have been multiple things, subliminals (I have been using EHPRA 2.0 for around 30 days) have been one thing. What really helped me understand how I should proceed with healing myself, and that it was possible to heal, was a book called "the body keeps the score". Which is about how our bodies store our worries and that our insecurities stems from that. When we are connected to our bodies we don't worry about daily things, we are comfortable in our skins, and we can go along and live our lives. Until I realized that, I thought _I_ was flawed, that something was wrong with me, but that made me realize that I am just a human being who currently "live" in a damanged body. So I started working with my body, with Yoga, and with a thing called trauma releasing exercises (great book about that btw - you can probably get your library at school to buy it if they don't have it) - and that stuff have really helped me get back.
So just wanted to give you some things that have helped me to recover from insecurities and become more comfortable in my skin:
- Yoga. I have practised a yoga called Kindalini-yoga
- Trauma releasing exercises
- Meditation - Google for root chakra meditation (a lot to read on chakras also, I have used that system to guide my healing, it's the theory behind yoga
- Cold showers and breathing exercises - google for "Wim Hof"
Best of luck and happy to see you here!
Thanks for the post. You are correct, I do care way too much about what people think and it dictates so much of what I do. When I moved to secondary school, I was very much a 'class clown', a bit of an attention seeker - not in the worst possible way, but I took note of the fact that it didn't get the best response and hurt by that, I remember making a conscious decision to be more reserved. Unfortunately I think I got confused and took it to mean I shouldn't be myself, which caused me to be unsure about how to behave. I've always been afraid to be completely myself, because I'm worried that being myself is to be really embarrassing and I'm better off shutting up. I know this is wrong, but it's so difficult to change back to that original state.
I actually want to go to some exercise classes and yoga could be an interesting route to take, but currently I'm too afraid to attend something like that. Just too self-conscious and embarrassed, but that's me in a nutshell.