EP's Money Magnet Journal

[EvolvingPhoenix]

I'm an idiot. I just re-read the instructions and realized I've been playing the program too loudly, thinking I was at 60%. Now that I know I fucked that up, I'm going to adjust my audio levels when I play it tomorrow. I wonder how much that hurt my progress? Oh well. At least I caught it and can fix it now.

[EvolvingPhoenix]

I'm feeling antsy lately. Like I can't just sit around and watch porn and Youtube anymore, but I also don't know what to do with myself and don't wanna do whatever it is I want to do, if that makes sense. I'm definitely feeling that tug of war Shannon was talking about. It's a frustrating mixture of restlessness and laziness at the same time.

[Johannesbrst]

I'm feeling antsy lately. Like I can't just sit around and watch porn and Youtube anymore, but I also don't know what to do with myself and don't wanna do whatever it is I want to do, if that makes sense. I'm definitely feeling that tug of war Shannon was talking about. It's a frustrating mixture of restlessness and laziness at the same time.

A quote that maybe can be of use here

It is better to do something than to do nothing while waiting to do everything.

- Winston Churchill

[EvolvingPhoenix]

I'm feeling antsy lately. Like I can't just sit around and watch porn and Youtube anymore, but I also don't know what to do with myself and don't wanna do whatever it is I want to do, if that makes sense. I'm definitely feeling that tug of war Shannon was talking about. It's a frustrating mixture of restlessness and laziness at the same time.

A quote that maybe can be of use here

It is better to do something than to do nothing while waiting to do everything.

- Winston Churchill

Thanks dude

[EvolvingPhoenix]

So...

It's been almost 6 months and I'm not exactly sure how much MM has worked or not.

Lately, I'm saving up to try and pay off some debt I owe, but wierd things just keep happening to make me lose money where I would have otherwise gained it.

Still, I feel the program has been doing SOMETHING because I've been low-key obsessed with saving and making money and trying to get a business going. Most of the debt I'm paying off is because I felt compelled to buy tracks for a music thing I wanna do. 

I feel like MM has succeeded in making some internal shifts, I'm just not exactly sure exactly all that's going on under the hood. 

I still feel stuck in terms of how do I get a continuous stream of income flowing in right now, other than just working the job I have at Kroger. 


I think I might be getting that unconscious boredom Shannon was talking about, because by about this long into any program, I start feeling the need to switch to a different program and get restless. 

Not sure how much longer I want to stay on this program. I'm hoping to be able to switch over to DMSI by the end of September or a bit sooner. 
I have saved up more money than I've been able to save in the past. Not by much, but that's noticeable.

[Shannon]

It's not a bad idea to take a break and then come back and run it again. That helps with boredom. But before you run anything else, give yourself a week or two - two is better - to let the program bloom. You may find that by simply stopping input, you suddenly get significant results that you didn't before. It's also better not to jump into something else immediately for letting the script settle in.

If you had resistance, it may be worth your time to focus on solving that and then going back for another run.

[EvolvingPhoenix]

"It's not a bad idea to take a break and then come back and run it again. That helps with boredom. But before you run anything else, give yourself a week or two - two is better - to let the program bloom. You may find that by simply stopping input, you suddenly get significant results that you didn't before. It's also better not to jump into something else immediately for letting the script settle in.

If you had resistance, it may be worth your time to focus on solving that and then going back for another run."

Thanks. I appreciate the advice.

[EvolvingPhoenix]

I have weird problem. 

So... my family pressured me to apply for disability when I lived with my brother. I eventually told him I didn't want to go on disability and he said fine and we told them I didn't want to pursue it anymore. Now I've been turned down for a medical waiver by the Army, so I'm planning on moving back to Florida. I am currently trying to pay off some debts and try to go back to Florida as soon as I'm at least in the black (which should take a few months) but now, all of a sudden the disability people are calling telling me I have a court hearing. I really don't like the thought of going on disability because I don't like the attitude "You're disabled. You need the state taking care of you because you can't make it on your own" after all these years of living dependently. Dad's saying Don't be stubborn. Just talk to the people and if you can get money out of this, take the money" and on one hand, I mean, this does feel like a manifestation of MM because they're offering to give me money. But I don't like it on principle and feel like if I take the money (assuming I get it) I'd be going against those principles. But there's a piece of me that's like "This could really help. You just gonna turn it down?" you know? 

I'm not sure what to do, because I'm thinking of other streams of income I have, and my low paying job is all that comes to mind. I do know social security could help supplement my income enough to pay off my credit and put me in the black (or maybe even the green) and I could save up for the things I want to get to start a side hustle I have thought up, but it just doesn't sit right with me. 

Not sure what moves to make. I tried calling the people I need to talk to, but they didn't answer. I'm going along with it for now, but I really don't want to rely on social security. Trying to think of alternative ideas. 

Also, my dad advises against trying to move back to Florida so fast if I could go on disability. I kinda wanna gtfo Utah and go home asap.

If I say no to the disability, am I self sabotaging the program?

[Have at ye]

There's no shame in taking disability. I was on disability for two years after a psychotic episode (but I did not qualify for financial support because I make too much money apparently). So consider your options and don't worry too much; nothing shamefur about accepting help.

Hell, I'd have preferred to have had financial support from the state than from my zany parents when I needed it.

EDIT

Especially if receiving disability does not prevent you from working and having other sources of income.

[Ampersnd]

I have weird problem. 

So... my family pressured me to apply for disability when I lived with my brother. I eventually told him I didn't want to go on disability and he said fine and we told them I didn't want to pursue it anymore. Now I've been turned down for a medical waiver by the Army, so I'm planning on moving back to Florida. I am currently trying to pay off some debts and try to go back to Florida as soon as I'm at least in the black (which should take a few months) but now, all of a sudden the disability people are calling telling me I have a court hearing. I really don't like the thought of going on disability because I don't like the attitude "You're disabled. You need the state taking care of you because you can't make it on your own" after all these years of living dependently. Dad's saying Don't be stubborn. Just talk to the people and if you can get money out of this, take the money" and on one hand, I mean, this does feel like a manifestation of MM because they're offering to give me money. But I don't like it on principle and feel like if I take the money (assuming I get it) I'd be going against those principles. But there's a piece of me that's like "This could really help. You just gonna turn it down?" you know? 

I'm not sure what to do, because I'm thinking of other streams of income I have, and my low paying job is all that comes to mind. I do know social security could help supplement my income enough to pay off my credit and put me in the black (or maybe even the green) and I could save up for the things I want to get to start a side hustle I have thought up, but it just doesn't sit right with me. 

Not sure what moves to make. I tried calling the people I need to talk to, but they didn't answer. I'm going along with it for now, but I really don't want to rely on social security. Trying to think of alternative ideas. 

Also, my dad advises against trying to move back to Florida so fast if I could go on disability. I kinda wanna gtfo Utah and go home asap.

If I say no to the disability, am I self sabotaging the program?

If I'm identifying your concern correctly, it might be that you're worried about what it means about you to accept this money.
That you're leeching from the government, or that you're getting away with something. 

I view it like this: If the state determines that you check a certain set of boxes, and that they want to give you money for it, you can go along with it and make some extra cash. It doesn't have to mean anything more than that. No need to moralize this more than you have to. 
You might think that this dampers your self-image to take money for being "disabled" (the subtext: you are *unable*)

[EvolvingPhoenix]

It's not a bad idea to take a break and then come back and run it again.  That helps with boredom.  But before you run anything else, give yourself a week or two - two is better - to let the program bloom.  You may find that by simply stopping input, you suddenly get significant results that you didn't before.  It's also better not to jump into something else immediately for letting the script settle in.

If you had resistance, it may be worth your time to focus on solving that and then going back for another run.

I have weird problem. 

So... my family pressured me to apply for disability when I lived with my brother. I eventually told him I didn't want to go on disability and he said fine and we told them I didn't want to pursue it anymore. Now I've been turned down for a medical waiver by the Army, so I'm planning on moving back to Florida. I am currently trying to pay off some debts and try to go back to Florida as soon as I'm at least in the black (which should take a few months) but now, all of a sudden the disability people are calling telling me I have a court hearing. I really don't like the thought of going on disability because I don't like the attitude "You're disabled. You need the state taking care of you because you can't make it on your own" after all these years of living dependently. Dad's saying Don't be stubborn. Just talk to the people and if you can get money out of this, take the money" and on one hand, I mean, this does feel like a manifestation of MM because they're offering to give me money. But I don't like it on principle and feel like if I take the money (assuming I get it) I'd be going against those principles. But there's a piece of me that's like "This could really help. You just gonna turn it down?" you know? 

I'm not sure what to do, because I'm thinking of other streams of income I have, and my low paying job is all that comes to mind. I do know social security could help supplement my income enough to pay off my credit and put me in the black (or maybe even the green) and I could save up for the things I want to get to start a side hustle I have thought up, but it just doesn't sit right with me. 

Not sure what moves to make. I tried calling the people I need to talk to, but they didn't answer. I'm going along with it for now, but I really don't want to rely on social security. Trying to think of alternative ideas. 

Also, my dad advises against trying to move back to Florida so fast if I could go on disability. I kinda wanna gtfo Utah and go home asap.

If I say no to the disability, am I self sabotaging the program?

If I'm identifying your concern correctly, it might be that you're worried about what it means about you to accept this money.
That you're leeching from the government, or that you're getting away with something. 

I view it like this: If the state determines that you check a certain set of boxes, and that they want to give you money for it, you can go along with it and make some extra cash. It doesn't have to mean anything more than that. No need to moralize this more than you have to. 
You might think that this dampers your self-image to take money for being "disabled" (the subtext: you are *unable*)

Yeah, I suppose so. I have some other reasons but won't go into them here. But you're not off. I'd prefer to make it on my own.

[EvolvingPhoenix]

So I stopped using MM about a week or two ago. I was just forgetting to use it increasingly, took it to be a sign of unconscious "ADHD" as I've seen Shannon refer to it, and decided it's time to move onto a new program.

Just as I've bought the current version of DMSI, I realize that people are sending money from numerous sources all of a sudden lately, and I think the effects of MM are starting to kick in, but too late to keep going. I already bought DMSI and was planning on using that around this time anyway.

I hope it starts working fast, because who wouldn't want results sooner rather than later, ammirite?

Anyway, I guess I'll be starting a new journal for DMSI.