DMSI V3.3.1 5.5G Shadow's Awesome Journal PART 1(Closed)

[Shadow2200]

We had like a birthday eat out get together dancer ws there and at first she was paying little attension cause we was fighting we did latter bump into each other and got talking and after the dinner talked to her more and more of less made up. To sum up all this time on version A been causing to stand up to her being as aggressive as she is also we vet into all the time. Back when i was on verison B we got into a massive fight that lasted for hours and still not back all the way to where it was. This last weekend the good news also i wasn,t really talking to her. I did get really motivated to go out mall and try yo talk to some new people. Get up the courage t o talk girl to even though not really go anywhere i was proud tried. Also during this time african girl that i see if tha0t comes to the store all the time. She also comes to the gym she been alot more friendly even giving me hugs smïles alot more intensethat when she would come out to the store.it be something in the making. Well see where this goes

[Shadow2200]

Super highs to mega lows pretty much a super roller coaster going on with me and dancer. We fight we make up pretty much a cycle going on. As of late been through a bit drama as everybody in our social circle things were together having sex sex which sadly as as long as this as been going on hasn't happened. Which in some ways is good so it would make it less complicated and easier to walk away from it. The other side she dose have another guy she's with as do I have other friends with benefits from even before I was using dmsi.
Her main guy is in a bad shape with lots do drinking problems and mental problems depression PTSD stuff. Dancer had been taking care of him sort of and somewhere along the way started hanging around me and of course got closer over time as well. The problem being is she kind of likes both of us in a while which I was cool with cause I was never looking for anything serious anyway however because of her situation as being taken etc she keeps denying her feelings towards me and wants to have me now as just a buddy that she can feel safe with aka: the friend zone. I let her know that I'm not settling for something like and pretty much made it clear that ether I was going to be a friend and see where it goes or nothing not just a buddy. So last few days no contact with her as it's pretty much a state mate. Although I do care for her she dose have a lot of problems as well as like to hogged a lot of attention that should be going towards other girls that might need my help. One thing I was thinking our relationship got stronger on 3.2 and or the break between 3.1 when we took that month off for the update. On a positive note I did have a young black girl sit down in front of me seem like she at least gave me the look over. She seemed to be on her phone and despite the no flap been staying strong couldn't get myself up to go talk to her in that still had the feeling that she should be opening me. So nothing happened today
On a side note the headphone just seems to be a lot more intense than listening with speaker sometimes I have no choice but to use the because of time restrictions but every time I use headphones I get more of a impact. Been using Version A for a while now and I do feel a lot stronger thanks to all that heeling. I'm still feeling no desire to cold approach women as I know that would help things along. Every time I start trying to go out and make it happen I get hit with a feeling it's they should be Initiating more but of course I only get looks ioi's or close walk byes which is something but nothing enough for something to happen. I did meet one girl while I was at work very sexual person not really physically what I was looking for so I never called her. So some girls are manifesting my way. Still seems I have a long way to go where girls are Initiating things with me like in the goals of the program. Though I have come a long way from where I started. Like the version before still need a version that can put me over the top, get the girl or good enough to have a stream coming in.

[Shadow2200]

Looking back reading some of the post I made on 3.2 to say it was a roller coaster to say the least. 3.2 brought me a long away I think biggest benefits was the anti-sniper off opened doors that had been closed, yes it made a lot more drama but was worth it. The anti-flap wall did help. With it I was able to take control of getting past porn and focus much more on real girls. I think on past versions I did manifest more girls from a long ways off with the long range sniper which is good. Before the 3.1 the antisniper kicked in and nothing became of it because the girls had a lot of issues which I think I liked so I could try to fix there problems. Needless to say still ending up mainly being with the girls I had before cause it was safer. On 3.1-3.2 I was still too scared to do a lot of the things I really wanted to do. The healing and clearing helped but something held me back as far as what I truly capable of doing or having. I'm sure the anti fear mod will help with that.
Since it had been a while since a up dated to make a long story short of course still more or less around with dancer, announcement/ singer girl used to had a single mom friends with benfits also although that one when down in flames and ending up with the single mom getting jealous and trying to ruin all my relationships with the other 2 girls. every time the single mom see ones the other 2 she starts stuff with her and even though me and single mom is over I still thinks she has feelings for me none the less. She's pretty crazy a lots of issues. I known her and singer girl from way back in the day before I even started using subs. The singer girl is the most consistent with putting the most effort into to being with me she of course wants to be with me solo so that's not happening so her jealousy issues pretty much pushing me away. Also with singer girl she's the most committed to me but not really attracted to her physically as much which is a problem. Dancer girl has since 3.2 has gone to being nothing to a girl I hangout with daily and can tell she has feelings for me. She has a guy she sees pretty much over him cause he really don't do nothing for her and pretty much the reason she started hanging out with me. Plus do to the anti-sniper thing being turned off, she's very aggressive with a lots of angry problems. That being said she has been getting better.
During the summer and most of the drama being coming form this crazy arrangement with a few time dancer still trying to give her old bf a new chance, or trying to be with us both. Or singer being super jealous pushing me too hard and wanting me herself and crazy single mom trying to wreck everything.
My social circle had been going well with a lot of girls interested with ether me no really into or the biggest issues has been ether dancer or some other girl around blocking all new girls form getting a chance to be around me. With the celerity effect that generally has stopped me a lot is some girl in some situation be around me and other girls see that and they kind of subtlety stop the other girls from making a effort to seduce me. The only exception has been girls I like which are very aggressive and could care less about what the other girls are doing or saying. Dancer being one of those girls most girls wouldn't dare say anything to me with her around even though we wern't technically together persay as far as they knew she has quite a presence
The last month or so things were starting to change maybe last 2 weeks
Just been getting a boost of confidence and a feeling that non matter what everything is going to be ok. Which I know that but been feeling it more. Also still getting a lot of attention. Started a new job that has a high number of girls than the last one, so getting a lot of attention which is good. Until the last few weeks as dmsi get's closer
and with dancer girl who has become my main girl. Something rose up in me because it was a situation where she was taking me for granted as I've been helping her a lot and I let her know it's not going to be her way all the time. We had a big fight over it and like today and this week she's been a lot nicer as I think for the first time she really thought she might loose me. a total shift in her attitude.
It's something in this new version with TID effects that causing me to really question should I be in any of these relationships at all and was serious thinking about just walking away from all of it and starting over. A lot of the reason I am in the boat I'm in is because I settled for less than I thought I deserved. So for the first time I really felt strong enough that I could leave these girls and just find new and better ones to replace them and am planning on doing that.
Before I was just so eager to have attention I just took anything that came along now I'm raising standards or a least considering doing that even before the new version comes out. I did have some TID effects the last time before it came out as a lot of things including the whole relationship with dancer started because of it. These new effects although they haven't lasted a long time or constant are started to make a big change in my thinking and actions
I would like to if nothing else take things to the next level with dancer with this new version as well as make a new and better circle of friends with benefits etc and it has seemed if nothing else using 3.2 as I guide I generally get a new major girl out of each version. I'm confidence that I might of already met her or will shortly as to totally take the place of single mom that thing didn't work out so well with. And maybe a few more for good measure. I also plan on extending my social circle to be much more the person getting asked out or invited to stuff you know like a celebrity should be. And for the first time really starting to get the feeling like it might happen. All the other girls I wanted it to happen but never felt like it really was. This time feel different. Ether way big changes are on the way

[Shadow2200]

Another awesome day just because. Anyway my dancer friend has been extra nice to me as of late. I think she starting to tell it,s ok if things don,t work I could easily find a replacement and I have a feeling (TID) effects? Maybe going to find replacements for both dancer and singer friend.
I Have mentioned in other posts that i have been feeling different with increaed confidence, sex drive boost, overall more positive outlook. Pretty good considering I still waiting to start the program. Right now I feel the effects come and go but are there and people have seemed to notice. At my new job a few of the girls seem be ging some interest, ie keep looking At me, walking extra close to me, and eger to chat. Well see how she responds after I start the program. It,s funny though as my relationship with her is a result of the changes in 3.2.

[Shadow2200]

Dancer been quiet today, no texting or calls she must be up to something. One of the things concerning me and her is the fact both of us are kind of seeing other people as well. She has a semi boy friend and I have some other people I talk to as well. As the summer had progressed she had been spending a lot more time with me than her other man on the side. She dose care for him but for some reason she wants me to stay around despite the fact I've told her she need to drop me if she was to be serious to be with that other guy.
One of the things I've been hoping for and it had been going that way is for her to finally ditch that bump because even being by herself is better than being with him. Pretty much that's kind of how I got in the picture cause he's really not trying to help her and is the reason she in a mess in the first place. While I think he's a nice person he just not really trying to be with her. However she is determined to try and save him, but it's a total waste of time. She thinks if she runs out of him when he's sick she'll be a bad person. One of her friends did that to her man and she wants to do better than her. She knows how I feel about the situation and kind of keeps all that to her self, which is good. Cause i feel he's doing nothing but holding her back.
As a typical woman she would like us all to be friends some how i.e. get along and all big nice happy group. A few months ago we tried that didn't work out as well mainly cause everybody knew the situation of her trying to be around 2 guys openly and didn't workout so great. So she ending up putting one distance between us. Which has continued to this day. Yesterday however she kind of slipped up and said she's being helping him out some by taking him to the doctor and such. He's got a lot of health problems as well as addictions to stuff which makes it even worse. In it self that was minor but you have to keep in mind she rarely see's him maybe a once a week or less which I see her everyday. Still she hangs on to him and he's in the background somewhere. it's funny cause he knows i see her all the time He Also knows she cares for him since and they been together a long time so she always comes running back to him even though he's not serious of trying to be with her or trying to help his own self. So in a nutshell she probably with him trying to nurse him back to health or something. Which is all good I know I'll see her ether tomorrow or Friday so no big loss.
On the other side of things I have this singer girl I'm friends with and used to have more intimate relationship with her till one of my single mom friends got jealous and messed that up with causing a giant big fight. They had both been friends and singer didn't know i had been messing around with the single mom for so time. Of course the single mom got tired of all this and spilled the beans with the singer girl. So now me and singer are just friends i.e. just talking on the phone or sometimes going out to eat but no more sex. She dose care a lot for me, way more than I do for her. The issue is with her she cares for me too much. Often times she dose very foolish things in a effort to try to make me happy. In which also causes problems. The other mainly problem with her just a very negative person and complete opposite of me who is mainly positive. A nice person in a since but not someone I'm really physically attracted to. She comes from a time long ago before I did sub's and settled for much less than I deserve. Had I met her today me and her never would of never met or ever talked at all. I will see in spite of that she dose put forth a lot of effort in a sense so dose count for something. However She wants to be with me one and one of course that will never happen, and she knows how i feel about that. So far she's put up with cause but as things go further i dought she'll be able to hang on with me.
One of the things I plan on having happen with 3.3 is although I have 2 options kind of I need more choices. I need more girls initiating things asking me out more and have the aura have more of effect on other people. Of course more sex also and a much improved social circle. Granted 3.2 was powerful I never could get past my issues enough to ever really make it do what I needed it do. That said compared to even a a few years ago I'm leaps and bounds stronger than I used to be. With dancer especially ether me and her are going to the next level or I'm just going to end of replacing the both of them. Although singer is a nice girl I doubt she will be strong enough to be able to stand with me through the coming changes with this next version since it's already got her at the breaking point as it is with me and other females. With dmsi drama is to be expected.
As for (TID) effects still picturing and now having the feelings of what it would feel like and be like if even 3.2 was fully executed and how my life would change. Back before the last version I always wanted the effects to happen. This is back in Jan Feb. of this year, but I never really could see myself or much less felt how my life would be different if I was executing at 100%. I'm pretty sure going to have to rearrange some things in my life to accommodate the increased attention coming my way. I'm also much more honest about how my current relationships as well as future ones going to be. in that if it don't work i'm feel that i'm going to be ok that i have feeling of knowing i can attract new people to replace the old ones.

[Shadow2200]

Day 1 DMSI 3.3D Hybrid

Had a awesome day of course. A few of the girls at work have started to take a notice more to me which is always good this is even before i started the sub. Also before i started listing to the sub had another massive fight with dancer as she loves playing the victim but yet needed my help at the same time. So in the end i always help her cause she needs it whatever she says.
The problem is and always has been she taking me for granted as well as if she spends time with her bf or her other friends she gets all crazy like this this of course she not fooling anyone. Even though at first i was ok with the fight at the time. It seems like even after listening to the loops i can't shake the feeling of wanted to be around her more. Despite that i still plan on ditching her and singer both eventually At the end of the day dancer is kind of my sole option at the moment, and hardly the place i like to be in at all. I think she knows that of course and playing these drama games.
The funny thing about me and her part of the best thing about her is quote saving her from her problems which is a problem in it self but is the state things kind of ending up in as in she has alot of problems to say the least. As i like solving them. Co dependence I'm kinda wondering who i should be more upset at times her r me for letting it get in such a condition
Today i'm playing the sub with headphones in the evening time before bed.At first i got pretty tired after listening for a bit then i guess i got used to it and woke back up so i could finish it out. Dose Take a while to get all 5 loops in. It seemed to get more intense as the last loop was finishing up. Anyway first day done still upset about the fight with dancer but hopefully a nice nap with calm me down some.

[Shadow2200]

Day 2 DMSI 3,3 D Hybrid

(Mourning)
Woke still thinking about fight with dancer. So against my better judgements sent her a long text about it. Laying out how I felt as well telling her I wanted to speak d more time with her and she,s my primary at least for now. Although I did let her know regardless of what happens I'll be good. Both of us are in transition now. Although it was a time when we both used to be closer. Id have a urge to look at some porn, but resisted the urge to do so as it would,t of helped. Latter that mourning was doing an interview for a new job the girl was doing it a young early 20's girl seemed a bit intimidated to the fact i just had strong eye contact with her. Maybe nothing could be my imagination. I was reading the sniper might affect people through a picture of them. So i put up a pic of dancer on my computer from a while back. i wonder if it will have any effects.
(afternoon)
Pulsar on phone playlist only got 4 loops and not 5 unsure what happened. I'l have to make sure that is fixed for next time In mean time going to break ASRB and make up that last loop. Also do seem to have a urge to get out see if any effects have started. I live right next to the libery so could be convenient for testing.
(Evening)
Libery was closed before i could test it so ended up taking a nap. No calls from singer as she's been on lock down as her roommate has issues with her talking to me so told her to wait till she's gone for her to call. Of course dancer is out having a blast with her new friends putting it on facebook making sure everybody knows. The very thing i've talked to her about. The good news with the anti-fear mod is i am feeling stronger and less willing to put up with her bad behavoir. Normally i,d be scared since right now she's my best option. Little dose she know as much as it hurts going to have to show i'm willing to walk away cause i'm not being a option as late more of a after thought. which i've already explained how i felt to her Numberious times. The only question is now will the anti-fear mod help whatever has to be done in response to this insult.

[Shadow2200]

Day 3 DMSI 3.3D Hybrid

Was ok day my nurse friend at my meeting was talking to me a lot more. Usually she won't talk to me in front of her other guy friend she likes Today was different several times you made a effort to come around me and me some conversation. Which is a important. Latter after the meeting I stopped in the store for a bit buy some cards for Christmas etc there was a heavy set young girl in front of me in line at the check out just keep looking back at me for no reason. I was like what's her deal, then I got to think maybe the aura is having a effect on her. Maybe a possibility. Other than that I have noticed a bit less fear in everyday interactions and more open to try things that usually I'd be more afraid to do.

Mean while after the meeting I saw the meeting dancer was at she's putting a lot of effort in trying to put her other man back together and make it look like they a happy couple which is far form the case. That be said the issue believe it or not isn't the fact her other man, since she rarely sees him. The problem is which I didn't see coming is that she made a younger girl her new best friend and between her and her boss friend and her kids she has she has totally filled all her free time up between them. Now their remains no time for me and hanging out with her one on one and is a major problem. I've let her know how I felt about spending more time with her and she still wants to joggle me around between the 4 of them and usually I end up being at the bottom of the deck. This of course will have to change because differently with this no anti-fear I feeling no problem walking away from this bad situation. The only thing left is how to do it in a graceful way.

[Shadow2200]

Day 4
(Mourning)
things starting off good, a lot if my co worker girls seen to find the need to be extra close to me today when before the,d usually keep there distance. Today funny as it sounds I,n usually backing up from them cause they all up in personal space. As no word from dancer or replays from text well see if she gives me a ride from work today and see what effect the new sub has on her in person, be the first time since I started the new version.
(afternoon)
I was out side waiting for dancer to give me a ride passed several girls with super strong eye contact and I unmoved non looking away. Although little else is there but eye contact with even random girls is very strong. Dancer was running late but she did give me a ride we picked up her new best female friend this time she decided to keep me around with her as she took her friend on some errands. I apologized for the fight we had, prior to her being around me in person she had been pretty cranky as of late. She softened up considerably having me around her in person. Her single best friend also noticed me which many times they both kinds pay we no attention and chat among themselves. I did promise to help dancer so she was happy, wasn't sure whether this was me or me helping, did help though.
Secetly I have already for most part gave up on trying to really be with her and replace her for something better. Or the aura with make something happen. I was feeling a strong reaction from her friend. So the funny thing about this situation may end being with her or her new best friend. I been trying to get in a place where I'm hanging out with them more as a group, you never know what might happen. I did have a strong sexual desire for both of them. I'm unsure where all that's coming from but can tell it's much strong around girls I really know or in a close range too
Had to go out do some errands and bank etc was on the bus. They picked up a lot of younger girls and same thing. They each made a effort to sit by me, look at me not really doing much persay just making sure they close by. I was noticing this and this consistently seemed to be happening without any effort on my part. Of course not much than eye-contact. But it's strong direct powerful, unturning away kind. Makes a powerfully connection if you let it.
Anti-fear mod wise they had this heavy set guy that works at my job got a pretty dancer girl friend and very funny. So despite him being very over weight he dose well with the girls at my job. He likes to test people while making it a joke. So wit the new anit-fear mod normally I'd stay out of is away let him have his away since I'm new. He got to joking around acting tough and I turned on the eye-contact and did the same and if nothing else he got the idea that I'm wasn't going to be pushed around by him. That was unusual cause most of the time I'm pretty easy going and avoid conflict. In fact now I just deal with with no backing down.
(evening)
Back out at the store, had this too girls sisters maybe one of this was deep strong eye-contact like so many today she was nice, even smile and spoke something I couldn't understand it cause I think she was shy, but keep looking at me. Anyway I just kept running into them all over the store with it seeming like she made every effort for her to be around or get me to look at her back. This continued even to the checkout line.
Well have to see what is to become of all this celebrity effect as it is about the same as in 3.2 just happening much faster and with more consitanty and a lot more eye-contact. I've been off dmsi for a while now so I had forgot how powerful the celbery effect is. I will say that's so far are off to a good start as the same in 3.2 I'm getting attention we'll see if I get more than just looks and if any one actually initiates something.
One last thing I did notice it's been quite some time since dancer has talked about my place or getting it ready for guests. When she did visit she noticed pretty much everything in my whole house. So she had give me some tips on keeping up the place. So it did come as a supprise when she mentioned my place again out of the blue, maybe something subconscious reason behind it maybe nothing we'll see

[Shadow2200]

Day 5

Today I had a short day because I had some legal matters I had to take care of. Because of some jealous issues dealing with her and some other girls etc leader to needing a restatement from both us to have no contact. Which is a good thing as she had a knack of ambushing my friends and messing with them to try and hurt me. So while I'm out at court dealing with that I'm simply amazed at the how powerful the celebrity effect is even giving how I'm only 5 days in. I had got used to it before and it was great got used to it the different butt etc presentations or ioi's was all was used to it. This version is different. I feel for the first time other than passive attention girls are investing a bit more. In that they are ok much more being seen watching me, a lot less of girls looking at me and then away kind of stuff before more longer more extended eye contact stuff Although it's still lacking girls randomly doing more then overdoing smiles looks but I have noticed what I thought had been missing more of them putting a tad bit more effort. So like now I have to leave my ear buds off more as I'm getting used to random or girls wanting to make small talk when before they'd only talk if they'd try to be nice or I was going there way. Basically seeing wiliness to chat or if nothing else wanting to be around me. This effect seems to be present from girls of all ages more or less. Only if a girl is happy in a relationship or something dose aura really has no effect on them which is constant with earlyer versions.
Earlier at work before court while at work I was having a lot of progress with these group of 3 black girls 2 of which are sisters and both expecting. One of the sisters had just had her baby the other one ran into as I putting out the baby clothes she made a lot of effort to come around me talk about her baby, show her nails off, got some kino little. Before I would run into her now and again today she was all up around me didn't;t want to leave in fact this only stopped because I didn't want to be caught just talking to her while working. While not much for into getting with another single mom, but I am attracted to her . So something happening with the aura. Also this time unlike last version I remain attracted to her it's not like the aura would be strong then back down. The new aura stays strong particularly when I'm attracted to some one. Also has done wonders for my self confidence which has gotten noticeably stronger I'll definitely take it. As I needed it in court today and I think even a few days I would subconsciously back down a lot. Now that's getting much lower or non at all. Anyway next to days on break but I think there's something to this new version.

[Shadow2200]

Day 6

(Mourning)
Today I promised to help dancer with some stuff she,ll come by at lunch time to take care of it. Money wise when her bf made some mistakes it caused her get way behind in her Bill's and missed a lot if stuff up, so been helping her with it. Even though she would say other wise she responds a bit better after she gets some help
(Mid Day)
Dancer came by for lunch. Although it was quick cause she is starting a new job and she was getting for that and was in a rush. Before I helped her out she was talking every negative thing and everything that could go wrong. I'm like totally disconnected from all that and it had no effect on, just observing it. Pretty amazing stuff. Auric shielding in action.
(Evening)
Latter that night got some calls saying my ex single mom girl was up to no good lying about me trying to get me in trouble. It turned out of be all lies of course she just jealous and trying to hurt me. Most of the time she only attacks girls I'm with and laves me alone as she knows that's pretty much the only way to hurt me as far as she goes. So she mess with dancer or singer mainly. Anyway Dancer called and checked up on me seeing if I was ok. Putting some effort in, great stuff.

[Shadow2200]

Day 7 <hybrid/headphones/Flac>
(Mourning)
Today I brought dancer some lunch since she works in the same mall as me do it was easy. She,s been in a great mood because I,very been helping her. I do think The aura is having a effect on her and others but she,s a bit hard to read at times. She could be just happy I,m doing stuff for her time will tell. Although today she offered me a ride home usually I have to ask her. Good to see her starting to out in some effort.
(Mid Day)
The other girls at my job all of which have boy friends in some way of another and have situations with other male co workers have expressed interest in trying to be around me much closer than normal with lots of looks putting forth some effort and being totally comfortable with me. All around great stuff. This all seems to be building up to something. Tomorrow I start back my loops again so we,all see what happens. Since i've recenitly changed jobs it fasitaing to see how my personal interactions of changed from my old job to my new one. Also i starting to notice how status have changed since i've bust into the scene. Alot of the relationships flings are between a super good looking girl and a completly out of shape over weight guy. And i'm like how did this happen. In one cause at least the big guy is funny with lots of jokes so i may could see why he's with this super hot dancer of his own. the other case this super over weight guy is a nice cool dude just not very attractive yet around this super hot young girls all day long. However everything has change since i've come and even more so since i started 3.3 nothing will ever be the same again unless they get rid of me. But something tells me all the women around there might like to have a few guys to stay. Can't be all hens
(Afternoon)
At work main boss lady seemed to like me. She put me in charge of handing out coupons and candy for deals at the front door. With the help of the aura I seemed to get much more people to take the offer than the girl I had replaced and with the aura shielding and positive attitude it was piece of cake. People where just in a good mood to see and be around me. Some things of note that stood out, a black girl and her daughter seemed like my free candy I was giving, and me a pat on the arm laughing having a great time. Which was kind of surprising,since I work retail all the time and very rarely do girls touch me especially ones I don't know. They will and do linger holding on to my hand while handing things off since they have a excuse too, but very rarely if if they like you touch you. I have been seeing a lot today of girls putting a effort and trying to come around me as much as possible and getting in space more. co-workers inviting reason to be next to me. Also increased confidence and eye-contact and feeling a lot more relaxed round women and people. The funny thing a lot of little subconscious fears that I had about speaking up, sharing my opinion and stop thinking bout what others is saying has all improved.
Even though the last version I was pretty much capped out within a few weeks and differently within a month this one by far has been the strongest. The only thing missing is girls putting a lot of effort in trying to make it happen, as far as sexually. Been seeing some effort by a few which is a great start much stronger than 3.2
Latter that afternoon dancer came and picked me up from work and I helped get her car fixed which was good. After I took her out and picked up her Christmas present a coat she had been waiting for her new job she just got plus some boots. Then got her some dinner. She had been a lot happier than she had been in a long time. She deserved some good treatment every now and then. Something her other man has long stopped doing.
The aura seems to be having some effect as today she was very open to me and put in some effort in trying to be next to be back to bumping into to me again and seemed to at least for the time being totally forget about her other guy she's seeing. After she took me back home she even took the effort and says she going to pick me up tomorrow, I didn't have to even ask her which is a good sign. The efforts of the last few days of her being exposed to the aura has turned the clock back to some of how she was acting when I first started using 3.2. Back then she was all over me making all the effort to see me do stuff with me. At that time she had and still dose have massive issues with her other guy so is in why she kept coming around hanging around me.
The funny thing is like back in January and February of last year I really wasn't even really interesting in her or weather she liked me. Back then I just didn't understand being a dancer she'd always be bumping into or falling on me. This is coming from a girl that has amazing balance skills. The story of late in he last few months since I've been off the sub it's been many times I'd be worried about if she was liking me back and id usually have to make all the effort. Pretty much got took for granted, headed to a bad ending as she thought it wasn't worth it. Since both of us had other people on the side she didn't feel the need to invest much in it anymore.
Now weather it's do to the aura, or the fact I helping Dancer through some stuff more than I ever have or some combination of both things. Today she was acting like she really wanted to be around me because she wanted to, and was talking like there was some kind of future in what we had going on. A very big turn around indeed. I'm unsure how long this will last but she has been checking in calling more often and really letting me into her life much more. Just what I was hoping more. Being raised in the streets it's hard to be able to read her so i still can't tell if it's the sub or the favors that's the cause of this turn around. A great sign if it keeps up.
(Evening)
I was feeling good about how the date with dance went so picked her her some stuff at the store. I'll have her pick it up tomorrow. Where i ran into my brother which i havent seen in a while, good to see him as he had kinda a falling out with the family and been off on his own for a while now. At sometime me and dancer going to have to hit the gym again since it has been a while since we been in there. There's like some people causing drama even there and that's a whole another story in it self. Other than that it's great to stay fit. I usually try to go to the gym 6 days a week unless i have a date with dancer or some other thing comes up.
Now if this keep building on what I have been seeing the next thing is for people really trying to be physical with me or asking me to alone with them so something can happen. I'm going to see how far people are willing to go. How much effort they are really going to try to put into trying to be around me or more than that get physical or at least go half way. Cause so far I'm already seeing the max of 3.2 in the first 5 days of 3.3. I have seen the signs that if nothing else it's at least possible that it might happen on 3.3. As for the anti-fear mod is really helped me open up and be more social if I need to be, and a lot more care-free about if I say or do something it's ok if they don't respond to me or didn't like it. It was ok and I'm ok. Very big changes in my thinking to say the least.
I have also still trying to see if I can see if any effect is happening using a picture of the person and try to active sniper effect. So far it's had little effect as far as can tell. However the auras effect in my presence is very strong. As well as my sexual desire with it seeming to come up much more when I'm attracted to someone. Thoughts of having sex with come much more effortlessly without trying to hide my desires as much as before.

[Shadow2200]

Day 8
(mourning)
listened to my 5 loops again. I had been on break last 2 days. Dancer been quiet I made a joke how she looks good in her new coat, and no response this time. Oh well,
Today maybe work on unloading the ruvk at my job. My primary job at the moment. I do get a kick out of the effect the sub is having on married women and girls with boy friends. Even though taken many times still attracted. Mainly only no effect from girls that are happy taken
Today there was no truck so just helped put items away. This new job pretty laid back in compared to the old one. Most of my shift I usual work in the backroom unloading and prepping items to go out on her sale floor.today main boss girl was impressed with how well the people received me as I was handing out candy. I was getting smiles and attention from all comers. Did that for a while before girls in the salon came and helped out and took over.
Later had lunch dancer and we talked a bit today she,s helping her boss with a promotion they doing and with donations. She,all be recording the event from the news station so of course I,all be watching. Did see it and it was only like a minute or 2 long, so wasn't much to it.
Been flirting around with my female coworkers a lot more There is this one black girl that seems to be get her self in place ether where I can see her all the time or responds to me regardless of what. There's a bout 2-3 of them that show very promising results as far as flirting goes. Also taking the account that I pretty much just met them so off to a great start. In a nutshell because of the anti-fear mod I just feel more comfortable pushing things a bit more then I've ever been. Like it would feel the fear for a moment but it's much reduced to the point it's ok that I try something new. Just being much less concerned about what others are things had made a big difference or me being ok with girls getting close to me and being comfortable with is also big change. This happens all the time in work environment as far. Which as been my main testing area as well as the few relationships I do have.
(afternoon)
I will say at work I was walking around 2 a fore doing various things putting out items. It was busy today lots of people and I was liking around with my trainer, a older nice guy lots of experience and he flirts around with the girls cause he knows them so well. I was looking at this and I was walking along saying hi to every customer and he said nothing cause he's less of a people person that's why he works in the back. As I was walking around in the store everyone customers employees bosses, all looking at me ether smiling and happy o see me in some way. In short for the first time in a long time I started to feel like a celebrity. I was sitting back and noticing this and this was just like my normal away of being. I'm thinking I could get used to this. Cause as I was testing this celebrity effect that even when I said hi to somebody and they didn't respond back, I really could careless at all but even when they didn't say hi back they always noticed me in one way or another and that was stunning. Cause before even on 3.2 I would get noticed but it be a quick glance kind of thing, yes it was good but this is more so, stronger and the larger area of effect. As well as generally they put in more effort in responding wither they have a boy friend or not this effect happens and is something I'm still testing. I will say at least for now I think they are more open to me doing something to make it happen. I on the another had am waiting on them to act, but with the fear leasing I having less of issue at least saying hi to them.
I was helping some cougar girl out with some heavy cookers and stuff doing what I can do to help. She was like making lots of conversation etc. I've helped out lot's people before at my old job so nothing new. This time was getting a sexual vibe form her as I loading up her stuff, unsure where that came from. Some of it was do even though I had loaded her up she just keep standing, lingering by me expecting me to do something. The vibe I was getting was sexual. Nothing happened cause I thought might not be good if something did happen with this cougar girl which clearly seemed like she wanted something to. So even though nothing happen the thought of something might at least came up as a possibility. And I dought if I ever could recall that ever happening in dozens of carry outs
Very strange.
Latter after work was out waiting to catch the bus, had a pretty black girl out getting off work also. Normally I would of just said nothing or ignored her. This time felt different and I almost instantly said hi, asked her few questions to try to get some conversation going. Very unusual for me, just felt natural. We got on the bus together and she was so called on her phone and I had already sat down, she totally bumped/ran into me. I was like really that's don't happen ever. After that I did try to make a little more conversation with her, but since she was on her phone so much I decided to let it go at that. That whole interaction was like a pushing of my comfort zone to say the least and I effortless did what I haven't been able to do for years on the program just saying hi, and having a basic conversation. Great stuff.
(evening)
Was bored, dancer was busy doing hair so I'll have talk with her tomorrow. I haven't heard from singer girl in a while so I tried her she was unavailable. As I was saying to the purpose ultimately is to replace people that are no good, that are unavailable when I need them. Although I'm making massive progressive with fear I still a ways tog before I got something lined up all the time as far as something going on. I should be getting invited to things, out to places etc, and I will am. Just building from the ground up. Trust me things are going to be a lot different than they have been

[Shannon]

Do you realize how beta you make yourself sound in these posts? One gets the impression that you live to serve and please this dancer girl.