DMSI 3.1 - The Journal

[Shawn]

After not journaling for a while I decided to make a journal again. The reason why I stopped journaling is pretty simple. I have become really confused and insecure at the end of my journal time and I felt deeply ashamed that I didn't get the outer results some others had and - most important - I obviously wasn't able to handle the sub and its effects at all. So here is a new try. I will run the sub until it is time to start exam preparation (probably first or second week of June) and then switch to MLS for the duration of exam time - and hopefully finish this chapter of my life.

Few words to MHS here. At the last few days of MHS I probably identified two outer factors which may be responsible for my sleep difficulties and also something what could favor an energy overload. But have to sort these things out first to be sure if they had an impact on my sleep and how much. But if they had any then thanks MHS.



Today was day 5 after restarting DMSI. The first two or three days were a bit difficult because I only paused for two days before switching from MHS to DMSI. Today something interesting happened. While walking through the city I started to sing(!) I don't know why, but it is definitely not something I am doing usually. The other thing was while being with another person at work. I had a moment where I started to detach from the situation. It is hard to describe but it felt like my subconscious wanted to show me the difference how I feel and how I would feel without these obstacles around people. In that moment I realized how much fear and tension I still have around people and how much energy it costs to maintain it. The free-stated didn't remain constant, but it looked like it shines through here and there.

Other than that I had several sexual daydreams about someone who could be my LDS and someone I met recently. So far for now.

[Choice]

You have absolutely nothing to feel ashamed of. We are all in this together, and to support each other. Some get results fast, some it takes more time and patience. I myself haven't experienced much of the external results. It's just a matter of time no matter what version, but newer versions should certainly speed things up. I'm glad to see you journaling again. Good luck man.

[Shawn]

You have absolutely nothing to feel ashamed of. We are all in this together, and to support each other. Some get results fast, some it takes more time and patience. I myself haven't experienced much of the external results. It's just a matter of time no matter what version, but newer versions should certainly speed things up. I'm glad to see you journaling again. Good luck man.

Thanks, man.

[Shawn]

Today after waking up I felt good and confident. V3.1 gives me some sort of AM6-refresher-light feeling. But AM6 feels more edgy and makes me more aggressive. The confidence in DMSI feels more calm and natural and not that kind of aggressive or over-the-top-confidence. I like it.

When it comes to outer effects something interesting happened. Got a text from a girl I know giving me another number and saying I can use it if I want to reach out to her when it's really important or when I need to reach out to her late night. This was really surprising as we don't even text that much and until now I can't thing of anything where I needed to contact her late night... Don't know what it means exactly but surprising - and a bit confusing - to me.

By the way, I am always listening the Trickling Stream, two loops.

[WIP68]

She just gave you the direct line to FWB.

In case to need to reach out to her late at night...

To me she's being as obvious as she can without saying it. The ball is in your court.

Test my theory.

[Shawn]

She just gave you the direct line to FWB.

In case to need to reach out to her late at night...

To me she's being as obvious as she can without saying it. The ball is in your court.

Test my theory.

Well, that's all fine, but how do I play the ball from here on? That's my problem and that's where I loose it every time - the communication thing and verbal escalation.

[WIP68]

She just gave you the direct line to FWB.

In case to need to reach out to her late at night...

To me she's being as obvious as she can without saying it. The ball is in your court.

Test my theory.

Well, that's all fine, but how do I play the ball from here on? That's my problem and that's where I loose it every time - the communication thing and verbal escalation.

Pardon me, but I don't see you as having a problem here. I see you as just receiving a gift from heaven.

Communication and escalation is you making a phone call to her some night SOON (strike while the iron is hot, she's still in the mood, and someone else hasn't taken your place ) and telling her to get her sweet @ss over to your place. She's good to go IMO, there is no need to escalate further.

Take the lead and Make the call...

Or don't...

But remember; this is about as easy as it gets, you will regret not phoning, and she's not going to wait forever.

[Blink]

She just gave you the direct line to FWB.

In case to need to reach out to her late at night...

To me she's being as obvious as she can without saying it. The ball is in your court.

Test my theory.

Well, that's all fine, but how do I play the ball from here on? That's my problem and that's where I loose it every time - the communication thing and verbal escalation.

Pardon me, but I don't see you as having a problem here. I see you as just receiving a gift from heaven.

Communication and escalation is you making a phone call to her some night SOON (strike while the iron is hot, she's still in the mood, and someone else hasn't taken your place ) and telling her to get her sweet @ss over to your place. She's good to go IMO, there is no need to escalate further.

Take the lead and Make the call...

Or don't...

But remember; this is about as easy as it gets, you will regret not phoning, and she's not going to wait forever.

I'd like to add to this that you mentioned that you don't communicate with each other that often anyway. So what have you got to lose? An acquaintance at most? Just invite her over for a movie and wine. She'll know what that means. When you're on a couch beside her in that setting, it's just a matter of putting your arm around her and taking it from there

Btw, I fully get the fear behind all this. It's tough! But would you rather take a risk of putting yourself out there, or regretting the lack of action afterwards? The risk doesn't seem that high either.

[apollolux]

How about "hey I need you to come over, it's important" and if she asks then "I'll tell you when you get here" ? And when she comes over you drop the Netflix & chill like so: "I've got a good movie to watch, but it's meant to be watched by both of us together. I need you to join me, I can't do it by myself" with a bit of urgency in your voice.

[kalmah0804]

How about "hey I need you to come over, it's important" and if she asks then "I'll tell you when you get here" ? And when she comes over you drop the Netflix & chill like so: "I've got a good movie to watch, but it's meant to be watched by both of us together. I need you to join me, I can't do it by myself" with a bit of urgency in your voice.

This sounds like it's either a surefire way to bone or a hilarious way to get slapped

[Benjamin]

In reality getting slapped very rarely happens, and if you think it will happen from that then you have more healing to do

Inviting them over for a movie is a good way too

[Shawn]

Ok, thanks guys. I will try to set up the movie thing, it's probably easiest and pretty obvious.

[Benjamin]

Of course the dvd player isn't in the lounge, it's coincidentally in your room

Or seeing i'm going with old technology, VHS player. Whatever it is.

[Shawn]

Of course the dvd player isn't in the lounge, it's coincidentally in your room

Or seeing i'm going with old technology, VHS player. Whatever it is.

I am well equipped so far, BD-player and fast internet. Just thinking about the logistics as she has no car and needs at least an hour to my place this way. In opposite I need about 20 minutes to her place but she has no internet and no DVD player. I guess I have to figure something out.