Alpha Male Subs Training Journal

[Shin]

Right, i am now on the stage 5 day 11.

Well, i can say that she or they love me.

I went to a minimarket. A cashier seemed fall in love with me. She tried to get my phone number by offering pulse. I found her attractive to me. But i didn't care about that.

Anothet story.
She is my eks. We met accidentally and she brought me to her home and introducing me to her new family. Yes, she's married and devorced. I was looling at her eyes, i cought she wanted to be her 2nd husband. Again, i found her and her sisters attractive to me. They said that i am more handsome.

I don't care above. But yeah, it made me happy.

Oke, new topic.
During this stage, i feel more brave. But afraid of seeking the challenge. Oh bad.

And emotional is up and down. Sometimes i feel like 'i am cooler then you' and then it's down.

I am good in self control. I'm better then i was.

I hope i can let of the past trauma, all the insults and be more reliable, strong , and powerful.

The most Bad news :
@I am still like poor and fool person.
@Passive and can't do anything. People may view me as an incompetent.
@Guilty.

[CatMan]

I went to a minimarket. A cashier seemed fall in love with me. She tried to get my phone number by offering pulse.

That's is normal Shin, when you are going to Indomaret or Alfamaret. They usually promote it.

Did you read the books that Shannon recommends? it's very useful. For example to reading women body language or attraction signal. Especially when you are new to all this.

How To Become An Alpha Male, by John Alexander.

I read it everyday. The only book a guy needs, it covers everything from top to bottom, in no BS fashion.

[Voytek]

Do some extra home work, mate.

Code:

http://subliminal-talk.com/thread-5620.html

[GlaizenGold777]

Shin, if you're really Indonesian, you must know Ronald Frank, his book is treasure, like John Alexander book but in Indonesian language.

[AlphaMind]

Good good. Keep on coming Indonesians, then we'll make a gathering.

Cheers

[Shin]

Shin, if you're really Indonesian, you must know Ronald Frank, his book is treasure, like John Alexander book but in Indonesian language.

Thank you man. I'm gonna check it.

[Shin]

What a such surprise on this stage? I got feeling something like respect to my self and other.

I didn't care about people around me. Now it's easy to say hallo.

This morning, i helped my mother to pomp ballons. It's order. I woke up, heard her calling my name, and helped without any victim/guilty( something like that) feelings. It seems that the emotional has been repaired.

One more thing, i used to get argue with my brothers frequently. I spoke like a cruel man. Now i don't know what to say. It's like i vew them like my real brothers and respecting them.

Guilt, fear, shame, neediness are a little bit decreased. In a few moment, i hope these things are able to fly out from me.

[Spareness]

Good progress Shin, keep going

[Shin]

Day 20 stage 5

Story 1
Yesterday, my friend and i went to school together. I walked confidantly. Felt and act like a cool guy. In fact, i did shakehand with a girl which i didn't know. That was fun. I enjoyed it.

Story 2
I was listening to AM6 sub. I went out. On the way to a Play Ground. A man called my name. He needed me to help to move a banner. I was in trouble. As a person which has been passive. I didn't know how to act like what he wanted. I mean, come on it's just moving the banner to the right corner.

But fortunately, i could handle it . I know it's a neediness. Although it's still there, but Shannon your product has decreased my guilt,shame,and fear.

[Shin]

Day 21 of Stage 5

I forgot to write this, last night i was in my neightboard wedding. I was like a stranger and fool. I didn't know what to do. I played with my cell phone.

However, wedding party was still running. People came over and over. I talked to other guy more and more. I enjoyed how i socilazed. And then it came AGAIN, the Negative Thinking.

Ok, negative thinking was like "oh my god what am i doing?/I should say this not that/Do they like me?/ Am i a pool man in their eyes?/ Do they still figure me out like a feminine dude?".

But To be honest guys, it's easy for me to have socialize now and it is fun.

Another story :

Sometimes, i feel depressed listening to this subs. When it comes , i always remember all the past child trauma and the humiliation of the people and family. I tried to decrease it. But the desire to kill people who had humiliated me came stronger and stronger.

[Shin]

Since i've been growing as a FEMININE DUDE, i am sure you know guys that's bad condition.

It's hard for to forget all the past child trauma with my family and people in my environment.

Oh my god, D*** it. I always feel depressed and it comes stronger and stronger when i remember all the humiliation. "Looser, get out!" oh my god, it hurt me so bad.

Sorry guys, i shared this. No one can't understand me here, in my home.

Well, currently i am on the day 31 of stage 5.

No much i can tell you right now, the most typical thing i notice is much better body languange. Chest spreads out well and more natural.

Can't wait for stage 6

[Shin]

Hey, men!

Today i visited my big family. There are uncles, cousins, etc.

It was bad. I talked to all my cousins but i was not relax. Anxiety,fear,shame, oh my god what happened?

I've got all the positive effects from stage 1 through stage 5 but it's gone suddenly. I was like a ZERO man with my big family.

So, all i did was just pretending like a strong man. Talking with very bad accent.

[SargeMaximus]

It's harder to maintain your changes when surrounded by people/places that have been associated with your previous state of being. Basically you've been used to being a certain way around certain people, so your subconscious will revert to that default state whenever around them because that's what it knows works.

Your options are to cut ties or work through it. Working through it is harder/slower, but it can be done.

I have the same thing when around my mom, brother, and one cousin. I just stay aware of it and I can see pretty clearly when the old behavior is resurfacing. I'm also making progress.

[Shin]

It's harder to maintain your changes when surrounded by people/places that have been associated with your previous state of being. Basically you've been used to being a certain way around certain people, so your subconscious will revert to that default state whenever around them because that's what it knows works.

Your options are to cut ties or work through it. Working through it is harder/slower, but it can be done.

I have the same thing when around my mom, brother, and one cousin. I just stay aware of it and I can see pretty clearly when the old behavior is resurfacing. I'm also making progress.

Yeah, sure. Working on it.

Thank you man