02-13-2015, 10:59 AM
Stage 2 Day 30
I feel terrible now and at least in this case I know why. Taking into consideration timing it is easy to find what is to blame: Valentines Day. But it's not because I don't have anyone this year because I know I could if I really wanted and it's just not important for me at this time. The problem is that for whatever reason by mind goes back through all my previous Valentines, all my failures I both courage to make as well as those only in my mind. It feels like OGSF that worked so well all those months has turned itself off day or two ago and these past failures just flood me, making me feel down and worthless.
To sweat some stress away I went for a run and scored 10K in over an hour. I wouldn't consider this an achievement, but since season start with first days of spring I'm more than happy with it. Sadly though it didn't helped me much with my problem.
Situation is so bad in fact that I was thinking about turning AM off for a while and doing some ERPHA, but since the latter is included in the former I would be useless to do so for a couple of days. I have two days of this stage left and I intent to follow through it and start stage 3 on Monday. If problems won't go away with time I'll switch for LTU or ERPHA for a month.
I feel terrible now and at least in this case I know why. Taking into consideration timing it is easy to find what is to blame: Valentines Day. But it's not because I don't have anyone this year because I know I could if I really wanted and it's just not important for me at this time. The problem is that for whatever reason by mind goes back through all my previous Valentines, all my failures I both courage to make as well as those only in my mind. It feels like OGSF that worked so well all those months has turned itself off day or two ago and these past failures just flood me, making me feel down and worthless.
To sweat some stress away I went for a run and scored 10K in over an hour. I wouldn't consider this an achievement, but since season start with first days of spring I'm more than happy with it. Sadly though it didn't helped me much with my problem.
Situation is so bad in fact that I was thinking about turning AM off for a while and doing some ERPHA, but since the latter is included in the former I would be useless to do so for a couple of days. I have two days of this stage left and I intent to follow through it and start stage 3 on Monday. If problems won't go away with time I'll switch for LTU or ERPHA for a month.
For not by numbers of men, nor by measure of body, but by valor of soul is war to be decided.
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4
