All that is gold does not glitter... yet! - Mateunio's Alpha Male 6 journal

[Mystic Pymp]

... The wounds are too deep,
I need to keep the scars
To prove there was a time
When I loved something more than life

Unlike the last time here,
I now have the means and a will sincere
Your knight is nowhere near
Unfortunate for you, this makes me your God...

Stage 1 Day 32

It's supposed to be the last day of this stage, but I'll continue it for at least another day as it would be to awkward for me to change all files in all my devices as well as I have to compensate for lost 2 days in December. So, next update will probably be summary of some kind.

I wanted to post yesterday because I saw my sweetheart in my Uni's corridor last evening. She is perhaps not the sole reason, but certainly the most important one why I'm here. I am very traumatized about her and even though it's all fine if I don't see her, seeing her somewhere or even her post on Facebook always brings me anxiety. And the same was yesterday, I felt empty, hopeless and shallow. I wished I could kill whatever it is that cares for her in me, even though I know I need to keep it as a lesson. I'm fine now however and I have little to no intention to whine over someone I might never have. I've whined enough already.

No dreams of note, at least none I can remember well enough. One snapshot I remember is that I was sitting on the chair and apparently my hair were 2 meters long. I realized something is wrong and I that it's a dream, and so I woke up seconds later. I think subconscious is telling me it's time to visit a barber shop

On the optimistic news now it seems like I control the frame now much better than I used to. It's like people listen to me and my suggestions more. It's hard to describe, really. But it leaves me optimistic for next stages to come.