Absolute Self Confidence 5.0 / 5G

[yoshilee]

Hello everybody,

so i would like to open my journal as well Please don´t regard it as "readonly" though. I would be glad in getting feedback as well, as this is my first sub i am running i am sure questions might pop up.

Giving a little background i should mention that i discovered several months ago, that all the things which are unsatisfying in life origins in myself and past things. Discovering that was like receiving a punch, which lead to a period of victim-mentality and way of sticking to the past by concluding that all this ruined life.

Nevertheless, you really can get caught into such. So there needs something to be done. I came upon the book "Psycho Cybernetics" from 1960, which seems to work on same mechanism. But for now i am in my 5th day of ASC and there are already some things to tell.

By the way, my listening scheme is roughly as follows (dependent what daily live allows to / always the ocean.mp3):

- During sleep using my Bose-Mini (First Generation), 6-7 hours
- In the evening if possible by using Headphones, 1-2 hours
- During the day might sum up to hearing another 1-2 hours by simple speakers.

Actual i am in day 6 and could see some change in thought patter. Like it was kind of self-pity before start, it was followed by some fine reduce of anxiety in general.
At least today i sensed a lot of anger thoughts. About the people and circumstances happened to me, but also for myself not being able to sense that earlier and start on working to be really confident.

So it seems something is already working down there subconscious. Or is that a thing of the so called resistances?

Have a great day!

[Ars0n1sT]

The fact that you are able to recognize a shift in your thought patterns is very valuable. Not everyone picks up on this easily. Good luck on your journal! I hope to see great things come your way

[Benjamin]

So it seems something is already working down there subconscious. Or is that a thing of the so called resistances?

The anger could be resistance, in that things you're holding onto are attempting to fight against the program because it knows it's working. Or it's hit upon something that you're angry about and is working on that.

The other thing it could be is similar to the Alpha Male program where you start to get angry at people mistreating or manipulating you and it can be a way to get you to start to stand up for yourself.

Either way it will even out in the end.

[DarkPlouf]

It could also be emotional healing. In order to heal one must feel the emotions. So if random anger arise it's likely to be emotional healing. Feel the anger and let it fade by its own.

[yoshilee]

Thanks for replying!

Well, i guess all you guys mentioned is playing a role here. I bet there is more suppressed shit to come along

Let´s see what the coming days will bring around. So kind of i think it is better to watch things not from one day to the other. Makes me feel a bit to sticky to processes working there.

Anyway, after this sub is done for the 32 days i think of doing the "Stress Relief once before going on to "Alpha Male". I think the confidence and healing part there is the exact thing to go for.

[Ars0n1sT]

Yes, you will experience emotional clearing in the form of realizing things that have limited your confidence in the past. When these thoughts arise - document them in a journal, and then also keep track of how your thought pattern changed. it is common for you to go through clearing by recognizing the thought, fully acknowledging it, and then you may observe that thought automatically (seemingly magically) shift to something else.

Good luck! You're on a good road my friend

[yoshilee]

That makes a lot of sense, writing things down beside journaling around here. So i have done that for today and it showed me that there is no random anger. Every anger is connected to a person and their behavior (me included), a situation or circumstances. Mostly in the past though.
After writing down it looks like a huge list for pleasant excuses, who or what to blame for.

[yoshilee]

So somehow i did not plan typing here on a daily base, but it feels secure to get response from experienced members

Hm, how to put things in the right words. Actual i feel kind of a crazy monkey caged in a bubble smacking his head against to get out

Things start to change rapidly, like coming in waves. There is the anger/hate feeling peaking up - then it is gone again. I get a clear sight on the things caused the lack of confidence, but in way of looking at them from a distance - kind of being objective and not related to my person.

Again things change and i look at life thinking what i want to aim for now, feeling nervous in a positive way where to go from here, but not able yet to define the new goals.

But also i am very attracted and interested to the fact that in general there is a process or something going on.

Well, all this is kind related to my inner state. When looking to daily life i feel socializing is a thing to welcome.
Actual there are two situations in life in know i have to stand up against rather soon, but still having some fear speaking loud my critics on them, be anxious about causing the conflict. But whenever coming across those two scenes i get kind of a feeling of pressure on my chest.

On the other hand, also relaxing things appear. Was playing my first golf tournament being able to do so in a rather mental quiet state. Also in crowded scenes confidence seems to have grown a bit.

Let´s see how things go on

[Kol]

ASC was my first sub. My journal is around here somewhere. Remembering the cage thing all to well.

[DarkPlouf]

ASC was my first sub. My journal is around here somewhere. Remembering the cage thing all to well.

Did you feel like ASC improved your self-esteem and self-validation as well ?

[Kol]

I became wsy more bold and "professional" unfazed due to it. In the last dsys I was a confidence machine. Cant remember much else ftom that run.

[yoshilee]

Todays update seems to be a short one:

It is just a good and easy day. Being more talk active by opportunities and also feeling more confident.
Thought pattern today seems a little different. Past shit or thinking about it seems to be faded out.

In addition excitement and curiosity grows, how things will be after this stage is finished. Also kind of a happiness and ethusiasm came in - like how to design myself and life by doing AMS or another sub later on.

Like peeking over the edge of a plate seeing a new world to shape and explore.

Edit: forgot to mention some impatience because things need their time to work and settle down.

[yoshilee]

Actual some rather neutral mood takes place. Deep buried shit from the past (some probably over a lot of years) pop up decent just to vanish again. Not really annoying me, it is rather a thing of just noticing "hey, that was a bad thing" but it doesn´t fetch my interest very much.
Same counts on motivation and energy; both aren´t there today in first place but nevertheless i don´t feel uncomfortable.

After severals days by now i need to experiment a bit with which track to use, observing closer the impact and effect, dedicating that for the upcoming sub, which i made decision now will be AMS as i want/need the healing on board.

Have a great day!

[yoshilee]

So last night i did the US track while sleeping. Feeling a little more headache in the font part of the head, but had that sensation while listening to Ocean too (although not that much).

Today things seem hard to fetch and describe. It´s something boiling and working inside, but can´t really name it for today. Social talking nevertheless seems to increase a bit and taking in a place to just be way of natural. Some stuff i need to take care of in the rather close future, i meanwhile look at in kind of a mixed way. I used to feel some fear or negative look for these, but for now also a feeling of optimism comes in as well.

Enjoy your weekend.