AM7 Stage 0 Healing Bootcamp Bonanza

[Have at ye]

So, okay, I have some savings which are a nice thing and are allowing me to H&C without worry about monies and not doing shitty translation jobs if I don't feel like it at the current point in time.

Thing is, though, they're kinda lying in my bank account. I get some dividens off of them, but they're kinda piddly in the grand scheme of things. So I was kinda halfway tempted to invest them somehow.

Now, I am a hater of the current wolrdwide financial system and will not invest in companies which are degenerate and should burn, no matter how profitable that could be, on principle. BUT, there's one business I know and have a proper feel for - VIDYA GAMES. I've wasted countless hours in my youth playing the darn things, I can tell what's going to be popular or not and which companies are going to make it and which aren't, as I've followed the biz (I'm still doing BSB vidya-game localization from time to time, for money that's piddly compared to what they used to pay 10-15 years ago, but that's a benchmark of progress for these bozos, innit). So I have 2 local companies in mind, which IIRC are on the stock market, and one international Behemoth of a company which I'd be willing to invest in should they be available. So I'll go see a stock broker and see about buying some stocks, Julius Slowacki style.

[Have at ye]

Boy do I feel good. Though my little stint with DMSI 5.1 could have derailed things a bit, I don't think it has - it actually allowed me to gather my thoughts, find what wasn't working and act on that, and take a little break from healing while I was at it.

BUT now I don't feel like I'm going to need any break from healing at all. I have a renewed enthusiasm. I feel good, and better with each moment. There's no more see-sawing (though I'm still experiencing righteous anger, but now I know that if it gets to be too much, I have to institute a negativity clearing/positivity boost et voila, and then do the cord cutting). I now have full confidence that the process is going to be smoother, gentler and less harrowing and requiring way less suffering. Taking the weekend off, getting back to productive stuff come Monday.

I know using a shield with Stage 0 is totally unmanly, but you need shielding for effective cord-cutting IMO - otherwise the cord is going to re-establish promptly. DRS v2 would be perfect for this purpose because it's an amazing deterrent from attempting to re-establish (creating a negative cord is an extremely brutal thing to do, especially if someone tries to do it insantly and not over-time; whether they're doing it consciously or not) because the cord-creator gets hit in the face with a tremendous amount of negativity whenever they attempt to do so. The grounding shield could work just as well, though, but it could take more time for the attempts to re-establish to cease.

Also, I will be joinging a boxing class. It's been years since I practiced martial arts. I simply was barraged by such tremendous amounts of bullshit I did not have the energy to function normally, let alone do something like that whilst still practicing singing and working.

EDIT

You know, it's really difficult to heal at all when all you've got to work with is caffeine and spite, lewlz.

[Have at ye]

My punishment for waffling and mixing subs is a somewhat distracting overload headache. Otherwise the going is good.

[Have at ye]

Made tremendous progress yesternight.

Now, the trouble is since it's complex trauma we're dealing with here I gotta process and work through both deeply embedded childhood stuff and recent stuff *at the same time*, which is a lot.

But since I'm awesome I can handle this now.

Also - there's going to be an update of Stage 0? Sign me up!

The headache has passed after a couple of hours of sleep, lulz.

The motto of the day is: Born to Lose - Live to Win

[Have at ye]

Okay, since I've figured out what was making me bonkers, and have figured out a regimen to counteract this, I forsee smoooth sailing from now on.

Focusing on healing, hard. Good stuff. Feelin' very good, especially if I power up with some positive energy to drive the process.

FRM is still FRMing, though, which I can primarly tell from some wonky sensations and the fact I'm getting a bit of restless leg syndrome. This disappears when I'm moving about, like walking and stuff.

Since glorious 6.5G is now on the table, I'll totally use Stage 0 in 6.5G and then follow with OSC 6.5 + DRS (hopefully 6.5G) to prepare for a rematch with fools.

Their just desserts shall arrive in the form a big, angry boy armed with the newest in subliminal technology and energetic programming, as well as some wonky know-how. This is going to be glorious. I will *not* be denied again. These are my monkies, and my circus, and I'm gonna train 'em up nice and docile.

Not that I'm vengeful, but I am, har har har.

Then DMSI 6.5 G, of course. I can see myself splugring the full price on it, wondering what specifics it's going to have (FRM, no-FRM, integrated shield, the works).

[Have at ye]

We haven't had a song in quite a while here. Let's have a song:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l3RsOxKHr6k

Megadeth - Angry Again

The more of you that I inspect
The more of me I see reflect
The more I try to read your lips
The more the mask you're wearing rips
But when I seek out your voice
My ears are overcome with noise
You show and tell with greatest ease
Raving impossibilities

Engaged in crime, I grasp my throat
Enraged, my mind starts to smoke
Enforce a mental overload
Angry again, angry again, angry, ow

[Have at ye]

I'm making tremendous progress in healing, but not much else though. This is heavy work. Fortunately, now that I've decided to kick lady psychoanalyst to the curb, I only have the piano lessons to attend until the 15th, when I'm going to a singing gigz. There's also one/two things I intend to apply for, but I'll get off my butt to do it come May.

Right now, I'm enjoying the few and far between moments when I'm beginning to feel like a proverbial normal person. And screw anything or anyone that gets in the way of that.

[Have at ye]

When I'm doing the healing/cord cutting kkkombo, I oftentime feel the need to say stuff out loud, as if I were talking in real time to a person (possibly the one I'm cutting the cords with). It's exhausting and would make me look like a total schizo if I were in public, lewlz.

[Have at ye]

Making tremendous progress now, day after day. There are *tremendous* amounts of negativity, and even hatred, being generated during the healing process, and if even a part of it hits back those responsible then oh boy, are they in for some serious consequences down the road. Heck, I'm even finding myself having to clear it on the regular or otherwise I myself would get overwhelmed (which I was, twice, whch resulted in direct, severe auric damage), which makes healing extremely slow and unpleasant (because I'm stuck in a constant loop of incessant clearing), so they way I'm doing the clearing they're off the hook for whatever I've cleared/transmuted. Currently the main culprits appear to be lady psychoanalyst and the moronic bozos from my last operatic production (all 7 of them plus change from the chorus people, oyyy).

Chatted over the net with Lady Psychotherapist (remember her from my DMSI journals? Nope? My first serious love, pretty much, and the one who introduced me to Lady Psychonalayst) to inform her I'm breaking up with lady psychoanalyst and it was a very pleasant chat; she's being very kind to me and this is exactly what I need right now. She is now officially a MILF, BTW., if you know what I mean, ha ha.

Went to singing practice, preparing some scores to play with pianist-chick. Gotta pick up the slack on piano practice lest she becomes disappointed in my manlinity, haha.

Gonna try ESPA on her next week (not this week. I wanna switch the time and hour of our lesson first, so that we can hang out and chat after, which we did once and I was very impressed with her).

[Have at ye]

Added energetic unconditional love-bombing to my energetic tools stack and OMIGOD THIS IS PERFECT FOR HEALING. PRA v3 with it included is gonna be *the bomb*.

It allows me to heal rapidly even through painful stuff without becoming all too negative (maybe a little sad/wistful/hurt, a touch tearful). Making tremendous progress.

Yah, if anything would facillitate faster and less painful healing in future PRAs then I guess it would be, among other things, energy flooding with positivity and unconditional love. Now, where would you source it, though? I dunno. But I bet there's a way. I believe this could also facillitate the healing of pre-verbal trauma as infants primarily respond to their caretakers'/environment's energy, and if psychoanalysis is to be believed automatically attempt to attune themselves towards it.

[callie]

Added energetic unconditional love-bombing to my energetic tools stack and OMIGOD THIS IS PERFECT FOR HEALING. PRA v3 with it included is gonna be *the bomb*.

What is that?

[Have at ye]

It's an infusion of the energy of unconditional love.

You know, the Aura of Love, in PRA/Stage 0? It's that kind of energy, but instead of projecting it outward it fills you with it internally. In yuge quantities.

[callie]

Yeah I get that, Im more asking what specific practice or technique you are using to create that state. Like what do you do to generate it?

[Have at ye]

I'm a lazy boi. I use an energetically programmed thingy that automates the process (a so-called "morphic field"). I can't say more due to forum rules. I recommend a bit of Google-Fu.