I seem to be in a state of total war and violently unrooting. Interesting part; I have feminist beliefs and programming surface, something very deep, along side a massive headache. Not complaining tho, just observing in a rather calm way. IIn ways, males are inspiring as leaders, not women. its the bullshit I start to see clear, including at some appointment today. It goes as far as me becoming more polarizing and seeing it as a childish attempt, which is in like with the book of pook and the mill. Starting to get very traditional, or rather, seeing a more black and white role, putting myself as male above it naturally. This women just lacked vision and inspiration, it was even somewhat embarrasing to notice the stumblings and emotional impulsiveness. Sigh.
My interest in women is totally removed, or, atleast on a grand scale, Im solely in this life for myself, and doing so, making myself the centre, this can leak out in all other areas, Im the picker, the chooser. Again, somewhat fighting over self talk shit, like "I have work to do on attraction"vs "this will become a belief while it doesnt have to be true" Very tiresome.
I want to fly and thrive. I know I can and its there, the occasional glimpses are there and have already taste this. It all seem lots of garbage surfacing, like lumps and packages of collection of beliefs. Like a temporary state. had my sense of mission, leadership and allignment back yesterday evening, which seems to be good.
Writing down such things as -- "A" showed some submissive behaviour today, even when feeling totally shit and inward turned-- feels incredibly needy and beta. like, who gives a shit, its not about women and reflects beta scarcity. Although she was hot, its destroyed further. something that keeps popping up everyt time.
cant wait to have my monogamous beliefs eradicated and being replaced with abundance mindset.
Edit: I feel the compulsion of writing this RIGHT NOW, which pops up and is AM guiding me strongly. RIGHT NOW the thought pops up of "I am a badass" which is lucid! Deal with it. Hear hear!! The vertigo is well worth it. Happy af. Pure freaking ruthless
I want to be where I am as I now envison it like a freaking wormhole like stargate. Yet right now the world is burning and let the roar out. Envison this fully liberated guy. All other images in the past were rooted in escapism. Face right now face to face. Allowing it. Ingrain in the root and stop thinking. Rather...feel and go beyond that. The shifts are massive and fast. What is now is old. Already there. Catch up!
Also, am aware of a block, a hurt, something Obvious rooted in hurt and trauma. let it be and melt away. Paying attention to it brings me on the verge. Wondering whats more of there. not ocussing on it, rather let it be instead of making more of it as it is, somewhat assured in all of this. connecting with people on a more physical level. its there, o yes it is there, triggered by bringing up the scenarios of closure in many ways.
My interest in women is totally removed, or, atleast on a grand scale, Im solely in this life for myself, and doing so, making myself the centre, this can leak out in all other areas, Im the picker, the chooser. Again, somewhat fighting over self talk shit, like "I have work to do on attraction"vs "this will become a belief while it doesnt have to be true" Very tiresome.
I want to fly and thrive. I know I can and its there, the occasional glimpses are there and have already taste this. It all seem lots of garbage surfacing, like lumps and packages of collection of beliefs. Like a temporary state. had my sense of mission, leadership and allignment back yesterday evening, which seems to be good.
Writing down such things as -- "A" showed some submissive behaviour today, even when feeling totally shit and inward turned-- feels incredibly needy and beta. like, who gives a shit, its not about women and reflects beta scarcity. Although she was hot, its destroyed further. something that keeps popping up everyt time.
cant wait to have my monogamous beliefs eradicated and being replaced with abundance mindset.
Edit: I feel the compulsion of writing this RIGHT NOW, which pops up and is AM guiding me strongly. RIGHT NOW the thought pops up of "I am a badass" which is lucid! Deal with it. Hear hear!! The vertigo is well worth it. Happy af. Pure freaking ruthless
I want to be where I am as I now envison it like a freaking wormhole like stargate. Yet right now the world is burning and let the roar out. Envison this fully liberated guy. All other images in the past were rooted in escapism. Face right now face to face. Allowing it. Ingrain in the root and stop thinking. Rather...feel and go beyond that. The shifts are massive and fast. What is now is old. Already there. Catch up!Also, am aware of a block, a hurt, something Obvious rooted in hurt and trauma. let it be and melt away. Paying attention to it brings me on the verge. Wondering whats more of there. not ocussing on it, rather let it be instead of making more of it as it is, somewhat assured in all of this. connecting with people on a more physical level. its there, o yes it is there, triggered by bringing up the scenarios of closure in many ways.
The trials you encounter will introduce you to your strengths. - epictetus
