So, it turn out I have lots of mental stuff coming up and I feel actualy grounding back in my body. Its that sexy, seductive, Lawless kind of presence of being wild at heart, of being sexy without agenda and seducing where I go. I feel also way more mature and masculine in the sense that IDGAF at all about anything, and this translates in an open world for me. I did read Chaos's reply in shannon's journal about being pioneers and human evolution, and this makes snese. I feel increasingly sexy and sexual by the minute, growing and expanding, and dont care about mental masturbation. Its as if layers are melted away and bedroom seduction in combination with this is a killer.
What I do realize is how much we base on externals and how much self amused mastery can bring out a cockiness in me for just fun and gigles, and biting the bullet is a choice in that. I still at times when, for example, am at the checkout of the grocery store, I have no clue what to do, how to carry myself, which makes me fidgety. Confidence, self-esteem and groundedness is a thing, and it might be rooted in internal fears. Its not exactly discomfort, or it might be, but a lack of self sense and direction probably.
Winking, playing aorund, being un-apologetic in my sexuality and what not for the sake of self amusement and being the shit is there, I have glimpses of whats beneath, and the uninhibited cockyness as I experienced before, but it seems to be covered lots. Also, the rationalizing, oushing away of feelings is still taking place in internal dialoge at times, like, I dont allow myself to clear it out for some reason, I experience a upward spiral as of now and am concerned to much still for my taste. There is gold here and gold there. It simply is, climax.
To come back at TVD, from Klaus I went to Elijah, back to damon. Its a matter of time before those images internally are shattered aswell, to become even more real. I do wonder at times if Am is agressive enough to polish me into the man I want to be and is able to clear out fully as where I want to be. I simply want to be, IDC aas much about mission now, rather about being present and being this, letting the sub overwhelm me positively.
Listening to some music, and my seduction skills become strongly on point in this, next goal is tpo have it continuously on a loop of being solid in this, being seducer of the world, yet simultaneously being able to pull the switch on will. Other hand, my presence seem to be of incredibly high status and need to catch up on that, as I definitely have results going about it, including the girl with the great boobs, which she seem to bring stronger to my attention.
To come back at it, and, damn, my writng feels so good, is to NGAF at a extent, people swoon over me by my sheer presence and IOI's or not, I simply have options, I want this sense crystalized in me, solid, being the king I am ment to be and owning, claiming and dominating my domain. being a force of nature, like a high status value alpha male.
Simply no GSf is what I want, being fearless and living my life full potential without being stiffled. I know the potential is there, surely! Like a tree, branching out with countless oppurtunities. I want to be the one in demand without warming up or "get into state", just a continuously being into state, being sexual and shameless/fearless/guiltless. It gives an sense of calm to me writing this out, like a new chapter of evolution.
been thinking aswell about my last few days, and the hallucigenic nature of experience, perhaps I channel something like something shamanistic, IDK. Now, realease and unleash me. Im there, I know I am. connection to music, party music and seks music really brings great qualities out of me. Now, if this is down, I also might aswell further establish my empire. TBH, I feel like being stripped down, brought to the pit, rock bottom, only to be re-build.
Music that does it for me, is the slight going down music, with a immolation taint to it, like, shits about to go down, fuck the world, bubble creating. hypnotic gaze is also something I desire to have more consitent. And it seems all to be a case of catching up. Shocked about my bodylanguage at times, how i look nowadays. yes, my fucking mirror image turns me the fuck on, even touching my body is something magical nowadays, like a warm sure thing. Out of this world even, even blinking is sexy as fuck, in my mind its like a seks magnet flare up energy moving upward.
A whole well is touched upon of several things in my subconscious and sheds clarity, clearness and greatness. Now, I might actually blend into the crowd, standing out seems to come ( partly ) from a sense of lack of confidence. Pretty content with that, not needing to be all unique and shit, rather, this is already covered. so much to catch up on, its insane.
What I do realize is how much we base on externals and how much self amused mastery can bring out a cockiness in me for just fun and gigles, and biting the bullet is a choice in that. I still at times when, for example, am at the checkout of the grocery store, I have no clue what to do, how to carry myself, which makes me fidgety. Confidence, self-esteem and groundedness is a thing, and it might be rooted in internal fears. Its not exactly discomfort, or it might be, but a lack of self sense and direction probably.
Winking, playing aorund, being un-apologetic in my sexuality and what not for the sake of self amusement and being the shit is there, I have glimpses of whats beneath, and the uninhibited cockyness as I experienced before, but it seems to be covered lots. Also, the rationalizing, oushing away of feelings is still taking place in internal dialoge at times, like, I dont allow myself to clear it out for some reason, I experience a upward spiral as of now and am concerned to much still for my taste. There is gold here and gold there. It simply is, climax.
To come back at TVD, from Klaus I went to Elijah, back to damon. Its a matter of time before those images internally are shattered aswell, to become even more real. I do wonder at times if Am is agressive enough to polish me into the man I want to be and is able to clear out fully as where I want to be. I simply want to be, IDC aas much about mission now, rather about being present and being this, letting the sub overwhelm me positively.
Listening to some music, and my seduction skills become strongly on point in this, next goal is tpo have it continuously on a loop of being solid in this, being seducer of the world, yet simultaneously being able to pull the switch on will. Other hand, my presence seem to be of incredibly high status and need to catch up on that, as I definitely have results going about it, including the girl with the great boobs, which she seem to bring stronger to my attention.
To come back at it, and, damn, my writng feels so good, is to NGAF at a extent, people swoon over me by my sheer presence and IOI's or not, I simply have options, I want this sense crystalized in me, solid, being the king I am ment to be and owning, claiming and dominating my domain. being a force of nature, like a high status value alpha male.
Simply no GSf is what I want, being fearless and living my life full potential without being stiffled. I know the potential is there, surely! Like a tree, branching out with countless oppurtunities. I want to be the one in demand without warming up or "get into state", just a continuously being into state, being sexual and shameless/fearless/guiltless. It gives an sense of calm to me writing this out, like a new chapter of evolution.
been thinking aswell about my last few days, and the hallucigenic nature of experience, perhaps I channel something like something shamanistic, IDK. Now, realease and unleash me. Im there, I know I am. connection to music, party music and seks music really brings great qualities out of me. Now, if this is down, I also might aswell further establish my empire. TBH, I feel like being stripped down, brought to the pit, rock bottom, only to be re-build.
Music that does it for me, is the slight going down music, with a immolation taint to it, like, shits about to go down, fuck the world, bubble creating. hypnotic gaze is also something I desire to have more consitent. And it seems all to be a case of catching up. Shocked about my bodylanguage at times, how i look nowadays. yes, my fucking mirror image turns me the fuck on, even touching my body is something magical nowadays, like a warm sure thing. Out of this world even, even blinking is sexy as fuck, in my mind its like a seks magnet flare up energy moving upward.
A whole well is touched upon of several things in my subconscious and sheds clarity, clearness and greatness. Now, I might actually blend into the crowd, standing out seems to come ( partly ) from a sense of lack of confidence. Pretty content with that, not needing to be all unique and shit, rather, this is already covered. so much to catch up on, its insane.
The trials you encounter will introduce you to your strengths. - epictetus
