Lots of healing taking place under the hood including coming to the root of all addiction I still have. Also more past healing and situations I experienced back them. The possibility of reliving it is absolutely there.
Felt really good at the gym, total IDGAF attitude, doing my thing, feeling good and what not. Took over in some conversations with people aswell there. Followed up at the gasstation and some woman walked in. Talked with the check out woman and she was somewhat cold. Total non affection of that shit. Didnt phase me at all. The woman in line behind me stood very close. Felt her presence and I was non reactive in a way. No triggers, no bodily response, no effect on my composure. Was dressed well.
Had some realisation aswell yesterday around my eye contact. Im still masculine alpha and trusting in the auto pilot is something that works wonders for me. It also steers me to a direction of which kind of women I enjoy instead of questioning myself and reviewing. The sub knows, trusting in my subconscious and the auto pilot.
Im all about cultivating masculinity now.
Been wondering about manifestations, allignment with the program and full bloom of it. My trust has grown massively, also around LOA. Like some massive fears have been cleared. Also recognize some blockages and limitations in terms of allowing oppurtunity which is fine. Boundary setting and self defining.
My interests are wide and complex which at times put me on some crossroads of overwhelm. When resistance hits it all seems absent and nothing interests me.
Edit1: Some of my social ways seem and seemed to be driven by neediness, approval seeking and validation seeking/impressing which now dimish more and more. Its a "meh" kind of attitude displaying which aswell seem to reduce me socially a bit aswell as this drive is dissolving. It does feel pointless even at times making me way to passive. Not sure if there is avoidance going on aswell which seems the case. Have a somewhat hard time aswell revolving my mission. For some reason I keep having the wage thoughts more presently and persistently throwing me in some limbo as I aswell have a strong inclination in running business. Its as if it kerps me haunting. I miss my passion and yet I move towards the illusion of the wage safety. Opportunities are abundantly. I feel in love with my passion so to say. Its livid, but having a 9-5 job really doesnt do much other then this pull like I have no clue what I want to gain from that.
Seems working out my mission is now my goal and even able to assist others in this, is a good thing, expansion.
Full on embracing masculinity going my own way.
Felt really good at the gym, total IDGAF attitude, doing my thing, feeling good and what not. Took over in some conversations with people aswell there. Followed up at the gasstation and some woman walked in. Talked with the check out woman and she was somewhat cold. Total non affection of that shit. Didnt phase me at all. The woman in line behind me stood very close. Felt her presence and I was non reactive in a way. No triggers, no bodily response, no effect on my composure. Was dressed well.
Had some realisation aswell yesterday around my eye contact. Im still masculine alpha and trusting in the auto pilot is something that works wonders for me. It also steers me to a direction of which kind of women I enjoy instead of questioning myself and reviewing. The sub knows, trusting in my subconscious and the auto pilot.
Im all about cultivating masculinity now.
Been wondering about manifestations, allignment with the program and full bloom of it. My trust has grown massively, also around LOA. Like some massive fears have been cleared. Also recognize some blockages and limitations in terms of allowing oppurtunity which is fine. Boundary setting and self defining.
My interests are wide and complex which at times put me on some crossroads of overwhelm. When resistance hits it all seems absent and nothing interests me.
Edit1: Some of my social ways seem and seemed to be driven by neediness, approval seeking and validation seeking/impressing which now dimish more and more. Its a "meh" kind of attitude displaying which aswell seem to reduce me socially a bit aswell as this drive is dissolving. It does feel pointless even at times making me way to passive. Not sure if there is avoidance going on aswell which seems the case. Have a somewhat hard time aswell revolving my mission. For some reason I keep having the wage thoughts more presently and persistently throwing me in some limbo as I aswell have a strong inclination in running business. Its as if it kerps me haunting. I miss my passion and yet I move towards the illusion of the wage safety. Opportunities are abundantly. I feel in love with my passion so to say. Its livid, but having a 9-5 job really doesnt do much other then this pull like I have no clue what I want to gain from that.
Seems working out my mission is now my goal and even able to assist others in this, is a good thing, expansion.
Full on embracing masculinity going my own way.
The trials you encounter will introduce you to your strengths. - epictetus
