Day 6
Slowly getting more centred yet incredibly exhausted.
Style, adventure, trips and depth of life return slowly. Like, an honest sense of what I want. Depth of life and experiences came like a vision to me. There are really no limits to this. It also makes me put in perspective my experiences with substances which seem to indicate healing, acceptance. Hang ups show in your vibe probably strongly. Im really down for threesomes and sexual lifestyle atm in a low key fashion instead of all mirroring to others like that. Rather finding my own way.
Been listening to a goldmund unleashed interview before I went out yesterday. Had a few drinks and now Im facing myself hard. Went pretty blunt with sexual innuendos yesterday.
It comes down to skill + game+business+ inspiration+ individuality to me. Being almost like un the shadows and having a mysterious vibe. Also what seem to irk me with the 48 laws is myself being honest. Its refreshing to have it all coming from the internal and experience it like a trip.
Ruining shit as opposed to nice preservance of the social setting. Currently feeling set back, very tired, just back from the gym. Had some butt display going on from a girl I was eying yet to depressed/down/tired to do anything. Im really missing my edge in these times.
The style Im gravitating is whats called "rake" also outlandish dressing in subtle and outstanding ways. Im really defining myself as of late and able to compose my experiences in this. Also having thoughts tracing back from my former living place and the experiences I had there, being introduced with people and hooking up with new contacts. When in a new place its a new life, starting from scratch. Really tired to face all of this atm as it stirrs up conflict in me as some clash of beliefs. My image is clear as to where I want to be. When shit hits the dan its like a sliding back into some other state as if Im driwning into it bordering on amnesia to my old skills, only to figure this as temporary.
Business, adventure, travel, new prospects, fontacts aquintances. Another travel of the soul. Story telling is a great tool in the bewilderness and amplifies.
Im just so fed up with being stuck. Honestly feeling limiting of potential. I want to roam and fly already. Living fly and living nature. Ayahuasca has my attention. Will make some great stories and books.
My business mindset is ablaze aswell. Did read of the realchristianmcqueen forums yesterday and it sparked me and setted me off in a great way. Thus Im going to read rich dad poor dad. Im feeling like a fucking shaman. Liberation.
The buttdisplay at the gym was very profound display. Watched the show a bit yet feeling way to passive in that, feeling incredibly down. Normally something more primal is triggerd in me as a response to such things like a invitation and opener. Being way to silent for my taste. In ways I do feel magnetic like some danger involved in it triggering curiosity.
Not bad overal. Im really getting in touch with traits of myself. More introverse traits in the feeling area while on the other hand im really cold as fuck. My more mystic side is kicking it in, dreamweaving stuff.
Oh well. Results is what matter for me. Im considering going rake cowboy like outlandish style and fashion. Fashion amd style are not the same to me. Each thought triggering another state. Its a confusing thing. Like, thinking sex can suddenly swing me all the way over like a out of control beast. Another would be badboy leather jacket accesories and denim. Its a all or nothing thing and feeling not fully familiar with it at all which can get pretty unsettling at times. Could be decisiveness, trauma, dissociation/disconnection, ungroundedness idk. I just want to sleep and honestly, Im feeling depressed.
Also, lock down places, chat up with bartenders and the stuff yet keep on fly
Edit1: Its pretty huge to be present feel and enjoy the scenary, radical self acceptation of vibe.
Thats all gents.
Slowly getting more centred yet incredibly exhausted.
Style, adventure, trips and depth of life return slowly. Like, an honest sense of what I want. Depth of life and experiences came like a vision to me. There are really no limits to this. It also makes me put in perspective my experiences with substances which seem to indicate healing, acceptance. Hang ups show in your vibe probably strongly. Im really down for threesomes and sexual lifestyle atm in a low key fashion instead of all mirroring to others like that. Rather finding my own way.
Been listening to a goldmund unleashed interview before I went out yesterday. Had a few drinks and now Im facing myself hard. Went pretty blunt with sexual innuendos yesterday.
It comes down to skill + game+business+ inspiration+ individuality to me. Being almost like un the shadows and having a mysterious vibe. Also what seem to irk me with the 48 laws is myself being honest. Its refreshing to have it all coming from the internal and experience it like a trip.
Ruining shit as opposed to nice preservance of the social setting. Currently feeling set back, very tired, just back from the gym. Had some butt display going on from a girl I was eying yet to depressed/down/tired to do anything. Im really missing my edge in these times.
The style Im gravitating is whats called "rake" also outlandish dressing in subtle and outstanding ways. Im really defining myself as of late and able to compose my experiences in this. Also having thoughts tracing back from my former living place and the experiences I had there, being introduced with people and hooking up with new contacts. When in a new place its a new life, starting from scratch. Really tired to face all of this atm as it stirrs up conflict in me as some clash of beliefs. My image is clear as to where I want to be. When shit hits the dan its like a sliding back into some other state as if Im driwning into it bordering on amnesia to my old skills, only to figure this as temporary.
Business, adventure, travel, new prospects, fontacts aquintances. Another travel of the soul. Story telling is a great tool in the bewilderness and amplifies.
Im just so fed up with being stuck. Honestly feeling limiting of potential. I want to roam and fly already. Living fly and living nature. Ayahuasca has my attention. Will make some great stories and books.
My business mindset is ablaze aswell. Did read of the realchristianmcqueen forums yesterday and it sparked me and setted me off in a great way. Thus Im going to read rich dad poor dad. Im feeling like a fucking shaman. Liberation.
The buttdisplay at the gym was very profound display. Watched the show a bit yet feeling way to passive in that, feeling incredibly down. Normally something more primal is triggerd in me as a response to such things like a invitation and opener. Being way to silent for my taste. In ways I do feel magnetic like some danger involved in it triggering curiosity.
Not bad overal. Im really getting in touch with traits of myself. More introverse traits in the feeling area while on the other hand im really cold as fuck. My more mystic side is kicking it in, dreamweaving stuff.
Oh well. Results is what matter for me. Im considering going rake cowboy like outlandish style and fashion. Fashion amd style are not the same to me. Each thought triggering another state. Its a confusing thing. Like, thinking sex can suddenly swing me all the way over like a out of control beast. Another would be badboy leather jacket accesories and denim. Its a all or nothing thing and feeling not fully familiar with it at all which can get pretty unsettling at times. Could be decisiveness, trauma, dissociation/disconnection, ungroundedness idk. I just want to sleep and honestly, Im feeling depressed.
Also, lock down places, chat up with bartenders and the stuff yet keep on fly
Edit1: Its pretty huge to be present feel and enjoy the scenary, radical self acceptation of vibe.
Thats all gents.
The trials you encounter will introduce you to your strengths. - epictetus
