My inner being feels like mourning. coming at the end of stage 4 and last few days did also cover the temporaryness of things, causing me to spiral in pretty dark places. also, sudden views popping up involving cuelty. wtf man, not my cruelty, but knowng how humans can be deathly to other creatures, like the dog today and how its tiny and doing one gesture can end in RIP. It made me doubt my senses at times aswell as myself, yet come to terms with self doubts and how these sabotage continuous will and momentum. some deep stuff that is even though when writing about.
On the other hand, even with these states, people open me aswell, the girl with the femme fatale eyes shows mixed up signals, while before she was pretty closed off. now its the occasional glances, body placements next to me, gravitation. encountering myself hard aswell, as to how I still seem to have inner blockings around pulling the trigger, making me depressed, sad and feeling like shit aswell as totally mindfoggy. I want women to become irresitably uncomposed throwing themselves at me lmao. why, idk, i feel like it. its all brutal atm, confusion and hardshhip.
Uncovered some roots around sex rootedn into insecurities and beliefs tied to value. It makes sense.
Notice fear in the breaking of the friends currently. I have massive potential for growth and there is liberation and freedom in it to have choice and not being 'dominated' by fear of losing. There is only transition and shifts. Become self absorbed and centred. I would say; human, even. To take care of myself in all ways first and foremost. I simply want to let AM run deeper from now on. SM3 and DMSI would help me grow further aswell.
When I feel pessimistic its fine. Being true and honest to myself virtue.
On the other hand, even with these states, people open me aswell, the girl with the femme fatale eyes shows mixed up signals, while before she was pretty closed off. now its the occasional glances, body placements next to me, gravitation. encountering myself hard aswell, as to how I still seem to have inner blockings around pulling the trigger, making me depressed, sad and feeling like shit aswell as totally mindfoggy. I want women to become irresitably uncomposed throwing themselves at me lmao. why, idk, i feel like it. its all brutal atm, confusion and hardshhip.
Uncovered some roots around sex rootedn into insecurities and beliefs tied to value. It makes sense.
Notice fear in the breaking of the friends currently. I have massive potential for growth and there is liberation and freedom in it to have choice and not being 'dominated' by fear of losing. There is only transition and shifts. Become self absorbed and centred. I would say; human, even. To take care of myself in all ways first and foremost. I simply want to let AM run deeper from now on. SM3 and DMSI would help me grow further aswell.
When I feel pessimistic its fine. Being true and honest to myself virtue.
The trials you encounter will introduce you to your strengths. - epictetus
