EHPRA v7 6G (+ DRS) bonanza

[Have at ye]

So since I've been through an ordeal and a half I'm going back to my original plan of doing at least one full 2-month run-through of EHPRA 6G with DRS.
It feels really good, like stress (and anger) have melted away instantly.
Although DMSI 5.1 was just beginning to really take off, I'll exercise patience.
My goals with E7 are: training myself to recover from damage on my own, prevent further mental health crises and get off meds safely. Overcoming GSF should be an additional benefit.
I'll start the countdown on October 10th, so it'll last until December 10th.

[Have at ye]

As a stupid experiment I decided to do some E7 whilst still at the psych ward.

So, apparently, healing and being full of healing energy makes some inpatients salty and testy, I've noticed this before "in the streets" as well - it's like some people really don't want you to heal because it'd make them feel bad about themselves. But DRS limits them to passive aggression.

I'm also way more asseetive on E7 than on DMSI. Interesting.

But the FRM in DMSI is pure Gold and very fast acting. E7 works differently as regards fear.

[Have at ye]

It should be fine E7ing with DRS for the next two months as all I'm getting right now at the psych ward is the occasional provocation usually in the form of fake concern.

I'm also less loving towards women than on DMSI and more outspoken in general. Stuff healing/clearing through.

[Have at ye]

I'm home-free at last and feeling good.

Gonna start the official E7 countdown tomorrow, full 62 days at least.

[Have at ye]

Okay. Back to E7.

I'll start the 62/124 day countdown tomorrow, but I'm running it tonight.

Time to heal up proper. FRM in DMSI has lain a lot of groundwork for this already. I have a good feeling sbout this. Proper healing and DRS should make me impregnable to bullshit, and heck, I'm gonna need it come future.

[Have at ye]

Day 1/62 (or... 124? WHO KNOWS)

So yeah, the change day was actually way smoother than I had anticipated based on previous experiences of switching 6G subs mid-stream.

I feel pretty good, took something of a day off, went to see lovely therapist lady, discussed the shows and the feelings surrounding them, yadda yadda. It feels like DMSI's FRM did a lot of groundwork and now E7 seems to have taken over what DMSI was gradually doing, but in a healing fashion. Wonky sensations would indicate so.

It's interesting I'm experiencing very little anger. I think doing these two shows (and seeing the lovely director lady in good form and spirits again) calmed me the F down. Today I've been consciously working through the echo of 3 years' past, when I had my psychotic breakdown due to reasons which would take an entire novel to elaborate.

Also, OMG, that show turned out to be soooo effin' good, OMG (I knew that from the first rehearsal we had, the director lady has both skill *and* vision), I feel like a tiny part of theatrical/operatic history now, but I'm really, really calm about this (and I was *extremely so totally not intimidated in the slightest* by the big scene - and it's, like, literally the biggest one in Europe, size-wise - especially after having been discharged from the psych ward but a week ago, for which I will give a lot of credit to DMSI 5.1 and its FRM). And yeah, we'll be doing this shit again next season as well.

Tomorrow it's back to my newfound physical regimen, the day after - to singing practice.

I still feel like a million dollars, tho. It's probably DMSI v.5.1 still running in the background a bit, but perhaps it's its long-term effects having taken root (hopefully).

[Have at ye]

Day 2/62

Healin' up. A certain romantic entanglement from 3 years' past is getting healed up, in the context of a romantic entanglement I shall be pursuing now. It's mostly happening through the way of phantasy, but I dunno, it feels pretty good and optimistic.

Other, heavier stuff, is definitely getting worked on as well - based on wonky sensations - but the pain relief aspect is doing its job (in a less "laughing gas" manner than during my previous, 2-week long E7 run, which is duly appreciated TBH because it was actually kinda tiresome).

One thing I've noticed already that whilst on DMSI taking care of myself and doing my physical regimen was but an afterthought and happened automatically, on E7 it's going to require conscious effort on my part because the unconscious is focused on other things right now.

I think I'll go and visit a seminar by our friendly Lacanians this Saturday. It's gonna be about Love 'n shit.

[Have at ye]

Oookay, so the curious intertwining of DMSI 5.1 and E7 which seems to be resolving itself through fantasies just gave me an idea.

Also, I dunno, maybe it's a form of motivation for thorough healing in order to DMSI further because OMG, *did* I just come up with an idea for *what's potentially possible* here, ahahahahaha.

[Have at ye]

Day 3/62

Feeling good but a little bit lazy maybe. I do get pangs of healing pains but they usually pass rather swiftly.

I still get the elements of the "laughing gass" effect but that's mostly when I'm running DRS, interestingly enough. I've not gotten anything aggressive in quite some time, just the occasional guy being all "oy, you must wealthy and have lots of girls, ya dick!" though not in words.

It feels like a lot of DMSI has taken root already and it feels very seamless due to the naturalizer.

Thinking about certain women a lot, especially recent events during that production.

Gonna go back to singing practice today.

[Have at ye]

Day 4/62

So I'm definitely going to use the second planned new EHPRA/OGSF combo after this instead of a second run. I had to cut OGSF 6G short due to shield incompatibility.

Feeling pretty good, singing practice went well and I was very relaxed during it.

My baseline level of libido seems to have increased on DMSI and I'm feeling like a hot horndog even on E7. I do not feel much need for self-relase or the use of pornography, though. I get regular morning wood now and get the occasional erection whenever I think of lovely ladies, especially ones I'm romantically attracted to.

[Have at ye]

Day 5/62

Still feeling horny and quite self-confident sexually. This would indicate that quite a bit of DMSI 5.1 stuck and is here to stay, which would further indicate how effective 6G is because I was only on it for like, a month and change.

This is further supported by what E7 is doing, healing-wise, it would appear.

Most of the time, I'm feeling very calm and peaceful and am in quite a good mood. Focusing on work stuff (translation, blah - I'd rather sing or something) does require conscious effort on my part though. On DMSI I was more of a man of action. E7 puts me in a contemplative mood.

When I listen to DRS, though, my edge returns in droves as well as, I dunno how to put it, kinda calm feelings of righteous anger at *some* people. Interesting stuff.

No funny stuff from the local element, though, whenever they see me they either avoid me or show respect, which is neat.

Two things of note: I got an unexpected and unadvertised raise in rates from one of my regular translation customers, as a show of appreciation for the work I've been doing, which is neat. Also - got a call from this one foundation I had dealings with in the past, asking for voice-over work, paid. I agreed, because why not.

[Have at ye]

Day 6/62

Feeling a bit worse for the wear right now, but that's to be expected on a healing sub.

Managed to get quite a bit of work done today, as well as singing practice. Gonna start thinking about producing another demo-recording tomorrow for auditions.

Re-joined this one group I had to take a break from because certain individuals there did not take kindly to my budding celebrity back when I was running OSC and the DRS got a proper workout because of them. But it seems cool and things appear to have calmed down there a bit, so I'll be staying (they've been trying to get me back for some time now but I was too focused on that production and other things).

Had quite the fantasy re-appear, had it previously on DMSI 5.1 start taking shape. Am I manifesting subconsciously and it boils over to the conscious at times, perhaps? Especially in response to E7? It's seems like I'm building myself up for... something. And quite something it would be. It's not like it's impossible, and it would, in many respects, be a return of favors/kindness which I frankly believe I'm owed by now. Huh.

[Have at ye]

Day 6/62, continued

O. M. G.

Having a nice good cry right now. Just about done and at peace.

Funny, I've had this person at the back of my mind for quite some time now, but just now realized something. Hadn't mentioned her in *any* of my previous journals either, which boggles the mind.

Apparently, given the right circumstances, you are capable of actually repressing even feelings of love. Both in the moment and for years on end, OMG.

Totally telling my therapist about *Her* next week, heh. I was about to even do a write-up here, but I've ultimately elected against it, having typed most of it out already. But no.

[Have at ye]

Day 7/62

Healing. Wonky Sensations ™ indicative of internal repairs going on, especially on the inside of the right leg on up to the chest area. In a pretty good mood with short moments of bad mood. Felt kinda lazy throughout the day and skipped singing practice, but am maintaining my DMSI-inspired physical regimen and will try to get back to EMS-bodysuit-induced masochism tonight (hadn't used it for several months due to Stuff Going On and I needed the physical energy for work). No unexpected emotional breakthroughs today.

I was thinking about attending a seminar by our friendly Lacanians tomorrow, but I dunno, I don't really feel like socializing with randos which would be required. And I'll be seeing my lady analyst on Thursday anyway, so let her miss me a bit longer, lewl.

Still in a horny/romantic mood quite often throughout the day, though, in spurts. I don't think it's just the healing going on, but with the DRS v2 in place (which - after, oh, about six months of using it - has finally resulted in nonsensical bullshit *stopping altogether* from quite a number of pesky sources) I think I am on the receiving end of positive energies incoming and I'm experiencing them more intensely, which is actually quite welcome for the healing process as well.

Oh yeah, one thing I've been thinking - DMSI 5.1 auric projections include outward-facing FRM, don't they now? As well as comfort modulation.