A lot of my dreams feature people from my past -- but not people of any real importance. Last night, I dreamed that I had some kind of business relationship with two minor people I sorta kinda knew from high school. The woman, I don't think I ever really spoke to. Ever. Just had a lot of classes with her. The guy was someone I spoke to only a handful of times, and he was not someone I particularly liked. And of course, the dream had an odd feel to it. Threatening, foreboding. Despite the fact that there were no weird creatures this time, it still had that odd "gothic horror" feel.
When I woke up this morning, there was a subtle but profound shift in the way I view myself. For years, I've seen myself as "damaged goods." For the first time in my entire life, I woke up feeling rather... normal.
Healing modules are still doing their thing. I'm really sleepy today, even though I got about 11 hours of sleep. Rather unmotivated -- and at a terrible time too. I need to strike now, solidify the connections I made at the marketing event while they're still hot.
On a manifestation front, I'm getting tons of hits on OkCupid and Tinder again. Beautiful women. Beautiful black women, specifically. I ignored the sistas a lot in my 20's, opting for Latina and white women. I think it was an inferiority complex / internalized racism driving that, the urge to "date up," so to speak. Now that it's gone, I'm reconnecting with my heritage and roots, seeing the beauty in all women.
I've also noticed that I've lost a lot of anger toward white people in general. After being exposed to blatant, shocking racism my entire life, I had developed a seething hate for white people that was just beneath the surface. I was able to control it most of the time, but it would erupt out in an emotion driven explosion if I were provoked, even in the slightest. Even if the "provocation" was a misunderstanding on my part. Recently, I've begun to focus on the fact that everyone's just trying to cope with a fucked up society in the best way that they can. That hating an entire race of people for their perceived wrongdoings is hypocritical. That, logically, I have to acknowledge people like Shannon and my own business partner / mentor -- a rich white man who provides MUCH more value to me than he's receiving in return because honestly, he doesn't need me to get richer.
Now, don't get me wrong, I'll still fuck you up for saying something ignorant. BUT, I'm willing to approach it from a much different angle, a "let's see eye to eye" angle.
Deep, profound changes this DMSI is evoking.
When I woke up this morning, there was a subtle but profound shift in the way I view myself. For years, I've seen myself as "damaged goods." For the first time in my entire life, I woke up feeling rather... normal.
Healing modules are still doing their thing. I'm really sleepy today, even though I got about 11 hours of sleep. Rather unmotivated -- and at a terrible time too. I need to strike now, solidify the connections I made at the marketing event while they're still hot.
On a manifestation front, I'm getting tons of hits on OkCupid and Tinder again. Beautiful women. Beautiful black women, specifically. I ignored the sistas a lot in my 20's, opting for Latina and white women. I think it was an inferiority complex / internalized racism driving that, the urge to "date up," so to speak. Now that it's gone, I'm reconnecting with my heritage and roots, seeing the beauty in all women.
I've also noticed that I've lost a lot of anger toward white people in general. After being exposed to blatant, shocking racism my entire life, I had developed a seething hate for white people that was just beneath the surface. I was able to control it most of the time, but it would erupt out in an emotion driven explosion if I were provoked, even in the slightest. Even if the "provocation" was a misunderstanding on my part. Recently, I've begun to focus on the fact that everyone's just trying to cope with a fucked up society in the best way that they can. That hating an entire race of people for their perceived wrongdoings is hypocritical. That, logically, I have to acknowledge people like Shannon and my own business partner / mentor -- a rich white man who provides MUCH more value to me than he's receiving in return because honestly, he doesn't need me to get richer.
Now, don't get me wrong, I'll still fuck you up for saying something ignorant. BUT, I'm willing to approach it from a much different angle, a "let's see eye to eye" angle.
Deep, profound changes this DMSI is evoking.