ASC 5g journal

[Kol]

Have you noticed any increased wisdom? On some days I feel like I understand everything (as opposed to being confused about everything), even if the understanding is that "I don't know and that's ok". Some days when I have a conversation, it's like every single thing I say seems to be justified and people agree with it. Curious if you've experienced anything similar

Yes, I do experience that aswell. Its great. Makes me think of my idgaf experiences to be honest. I notice an increase in wisdom aswell yeah. Sometimes I translate it towards "superiority" for an lack of an better word. I also seem to absorb information more easier and am more curious?

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day 68 ( 28 days remain + ?? )

Woke up confident. Had some weird dreams involving me being some sort of puppet and fighting an evil force or something. felt very occultistic and religious.

Met up with some friends yesterday and notice how Im different. They talk about girls in an needy way, when they see an girl its coming down basically to "i want to bang them" without giving any value. It oozes neediness, like, they want but dont give value. chasing females but having no deeper quality. an girl with an shitty attitude is no 10 in my book for example. Such people chansing girls and just want to take value, or putting girls on an pedestal, gives an vibe that no-one wants them. I honestly couldnt care less.

Im operating from another place almost. One friend kept testing me, or, atleast it felt that way, dont really care to be honest, noticed an slight drop in congruence from an observing point and how it suddenly got to me slightly. It was more on an subconscious level, like when you sense an change in an person. Noticed me restoring myself multiple times because of the sub. Caught myself thinking "im really confident" and was an strong inner state. No matter what, I simply am confident.

I develop inner boundaries. People bullshitting me begins to irk me, while before I runned the sub or just an couple of weeks in this realisation wasnt there and i became confused. This makes me think ASC is an great lead in for AM 6.0. I can command with my eyes, just as i can give the "i want to fuck you" eyes and the "i know"eyes. It made me slightly hostile and felt an tension in my body. Before I thought that being confident and the such equals being unaffected, but acknowledgment and acceptance is part of this aswell. If im getting angry so be it. Its setting the frame and dominance.

I did notice some needyness in myself aswell, blocking my fun mode basically. It felt pretty limiting, annoying, validation seeking. I also noticed how my eye contact dominance is sometimes based on external factors, coming from an different place. When I realized this, my eye contact restored back to solid. I can look beyond peoples presence and notice bodylanguage. One can wear an suit for example but this doesnt directly make him "alpha". I become more and more aware of this, its almost like an new outlook and hidden world.

Smiling doesnt equal confidence. I can be confident and not smile at all. Dominance is simply felt. Confidence simply shines through.

I can approach anyone, no doubt any longer.

Im thinking what I want in life more carreer wise. Health, coaching... Will look for an notepad/book at some point when financies will allow it. The ball is rolling atleast.

The more mundane materialistic things seem suddenly interesting to me. The bucketlist and such. Increase in positivity and optimism while before I didnt allow it towards myself and dismissed it. Comes from abundance as I really dont care at the same time, just life I guess.

Edit: Currently I feel an big headache coming up, an strong resistance in my whole body, low mood, depression, anxiety and plain confusion. My journal will be as honest as possible and not showing only the positive side of ASC. I feel selfsabotaging right now and am aware where attention goes it will grow. But this feels like simple processing. Incredible fogheaded and done with it all at the moment. It will pass but im all over the place in how to approach this, believe that, nothing fees right. Meeting lots of backlash, its almost hilarious. Its an sense of bottled up stuff and all attempt to even think is met with harsh put down. One side its calm, while an other part is directly met with harshness, fed up, feeling ignored maybe, feeling limited and locked up. Its war currently, pretty much resistance full force.