Concious and Unconcious effort journal

[batman]

The path from beta to alpha is one with stones in it. You stop at stone, and get frustrated. Stone is in your way. Get more frustrated. Stone not move. Kick stone, but only hurt foot.

If stone is small, pick it up, and move it. If stone is big, pick you up, and move you. Stone is only in your way if you let it be.

Resisting what is has a name. It is suffering. But in your suffering, you see something valuable. You see motivation to make changes. Change is good, if you make positive change in yourself. Frustration is negative, and unnecessary, but can turn it positive by making positive change in self. Motivation is good. Anger, frustration, make good fuel for motivation. Turn negative into positive.

Right now, you are dissatisfied, and alpha set is pushing you to become something that makes you even more dissatisfied. You are now caught between fear of change and carpet bombing of mind. If you keep listening, pressure will build until you are sufficiently motivated to make big changes.

Fear does not make you weak. Surrendering to fear makes you weak. But you are not surrendering to fear; you are dealing with it. That's why you feel agitated. Agitation is motivation. Motivation is change. Change is growth. Growth dissolves fear.

Blame is wasted energy. Blame is unnecessary. Blame changes nothing, accomplishes nothing. Blame is empty, waste of time. No blame.

Instead of blame, seek to understand. Realize that frustration comes from resisting what is. What is? You changing is. You becoming is. Old ways no longer fit new ways, developing ways make you grow out of your current circumstances. You become within, before you become without. Outer world will match inner self when inner self is solid. Keep listening. No blame.

Spend time sitting still. Think about why. Ask why. Question everything. Why blame self? Why call self wimp? Why think badly of self? No need. Self good. Just changing. Accept what is, let go of expectations, still your mind, and be. What is becoming will become, and the outer will match the inner. This process takes time. No blame. Forgive and accept. Let go and become.

YES SHANNON !!!!! I trully understand with you. AND YES SHANNON right now im made that changed a couple of days ago by making a spontaneus moves in my life. im inspired by watching movies such as spartacus, into the wild, 127 hours. these are all alpha man who go out there to live their dreams, chase 'em, fight for 'em.

and yes shannon, thanks to all that resistance now i finally made that change now. my mentor always told me that when the resistance happened in your daily life, its trying to tell me something. it wants to be understand, and when i understood, i effortlessly made the change, and now i finnaly got it. now i welcome resistance, now i ponder about it, i pay them attention but i wont let them control me instead of me being in control.

and im proudly to tell you shannon, that i am a man now. i made my own decisions now, i choose my own path now, im living my life at the moment, and im havin fun with my life for the first time im very grateful for every bad things that happened in my life.

at this moment, im sitting here in BALI !!!! to tell you all that i made a big move by going here spontaneusly. the old me will never ever ever have the balls to take a vacation anywhere because of the fear of dependent to my daily routines.

another inspiration comes from an ads, that im sure you will be inspired after listening to it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qekZeTtjXxM

today i finnaly finished my second stage of AM11. and i cant wait for stage 3.

thanks to shannon and those who supports me, spiral, ryan, ben, wildflower....THAT I FINNALY MADE THE CHANGE IN MY SELF !!!!!! I WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN !!! EVER !!! IM LIVIN MY LIFE !!! I LOVE MY LIFE !! NOW I AM A MAN !!! A REAL MAN !!!