ASC 5g journal

[Kol]

One suggestion re psyching yourself up: right now you're writing your bulleted list with - , try using + instead especially for the things you believe to be positive and * for neutral or "not yet" or something. You might be surprised at what else in your mindset changes after you start seeing all those plusses everywhere.

Strongly appealing and will incorporate this. The idea itself already launces my mind.

day 63 ? ( 33 + whatever is needed )

Last few days was pretty intense, had an shift yesterday and people are gettibng all touchy with me. My escalation anxiety has dramatically reduced to the point that it becomes 2nd nature. The exposure to the festival and going with friends was something that turned out great. I came across people who I havent spoken since I was an little kid. I escalated with an girl which was not my type, didnt make out or anything with her, but we became all touchey and physical. The guy she broke up with didnt do a thing. That non thinking and split second happening, sexual innuendos all over, body to body stuff just for fun, non needy at all and just dgaf. made me think that I once was like that. Not that matters, it feels like it has clicked and can only progress from here.

I open people now on an dime without giving a fuck as to what will happen and just being in the moment with it. Im also getting more aware of slight things in people, such as bodylanguage, voice tones ( which can be really attractive or even an turn off ) Im feeling more and more "i am the prize", I know there is so much more beyond this. I sense it already, the moment before an shift.

My whole state is turned in dominance, people like it, i become unfazed more and more. Yesterday at work I made eye contact with an 8,5/10 and the other girl she was with. No longer was there any thought of doubt, just an casually eye contact and seduction I guess as she was way more receptive as an couple of weeks before, it just happens. It comes down to that. It just happens, and just is. The blond 8,5/10 smiled and was shy and the other girl who has somewhat turned in terms of receptiveness did cockblock me, saying "your really curious right?" and "you can Always try with her" lololol.

Im absolutely solid in my mind. I did experience lots of depression, anxiety and what not due to hangover maybe, but this felt insane. I had thoughts passing by as how this sub is maybe to strong and some sort of resistance maybe which made me seriously doubt what I was doing. Yesterday evening it finally clicked and I overflowed with confidence, an whole new level. Came to realize there is something deeper tbeyond the business mind I have, some deeper confidence, tied to everything. Its basically everything thats confidence.

People want to talk to me more and more, even if Im not really in the mood, im becoming an magnet, the mother of an friend of mine admitted she has an crush on me. Awkward as fuck x 10.
Had an short conversation with another woman ( guess around 40's or so ) mostly eye contact and smiles and hinting. Eventually we shared an smoke, it just goes so fluid. Abundance.
Im really addicted to the sub aswell. It can only get better from here.
At times Im still anxious as to how extreme the changes can be, like my socializing goes all smooth and fluid and automatic, words just roll fom my tongue like an machine, its an bit unsettling and causes some anxiety in me as it just doesnt match. Guess its resistance? I view it an bit like my mind will shatter. Also, I can get into an spiral of downtalking once in an while, which makes me think is an guilt thing resulting in fear. It feels compulsive and obsessive, could stem from fear.

It just happens and just is. Euphoric. Im off the charts in terms of confidence.
Thank you Shannon for making this all possible.