Again, I feel writing an journal brings up excuses. Am I to hard on myself? probably. Going out and connecting isnt so much of an problem, its more biting the bullet, taking the step to go out. I keep somehow resisting this. Once I recognize and acknowledge that going out will only bring benefits with itself in the end for my social circle building, the brakes are removed, only to slip back into it.
It feels like the ultimate mindfuck currently, while in the end experience = experience = growth and it doesnt really matter. There are many feelings tied to it, and im getting slightly agitated about it. Stop chasing only good feelings.
Whole lot of negativity is surfacing right now, its like an review of all the crap.
Also, 2 weeks ago (?) my plane was running ASC -> DAOS/BIATBWS -> AM 6.0 - > BASE?
now its more appealing to run ASC -> AM 6.0 -> BASE
-> SM/WM
I now notice an shift in organisation. I look back on things and its Obvious how much of an shift has taken place,
Side note: Escalation/woman and the such is no problem. I only seem to encounter situations where it is not appropriate, or I tell myself its not appropriate to do so. Escalation has clicked in more then once but my mind currently seems to be focussed on other thiings. I do recognize my subconscious communicating what to do next even? Like impulse towards sub and not so towards others ( AM 6.0/ OF 5G ) Right now im running my current sub and should stick with it.
It feels like the ultimate mindfuck currently, while in the end experience = experience = growth and it doesnt really matter. There are many feelings tied to it, and im getting slightly agitated about it. Stop chasing only good feelings.
Whole lot of negativity is surfacing right now, its like an review of all the crap.
Also, 2 weeks ago (?) my plane was running ASC -> DAOS/BIATBWS -> AM 6.0 - > BASE?
now its more appealing to run ASC -> AM 6.0 -> BASE
-> SM/WM
I now notice an shift in organisation. I look back on things and its Obvious how much of an shift has taken place,
Side note: Escalation/woman and the such is no problem. I only seem to encounter situations where it is not appropriate, or I tell myself its not appropriate to do so. Escalation has clicked in more then once but my mind currently seems to be focussed on other thiings. I do recognize my subconscious communicating what to do next even? Like impulse towards sub and not so towards others ( AM 6.0/ OF 5G ) Right now im running my current sub and should stick with it.
The trials you encounter will introduce you to your strengths. - epictetus
