Concious and Unconcious effort journal

[ronatello]

Im 6 days left on stage 2 AM11 this week, and i felt shitty in the past two weeks and ussualy on every weekend. the reason is because i dont think i just lost my best friend because hes married, and now im left alone with no one to talk to. although in reality there are many other that i can go to and socialize with, but i kinda stuck with this guy. and im still trying to let go and accept this feeling for a while now.

so, just like what spiral told me to not give up on this journey of AM11, I've been going out for the last two weeks trying socializing. i went out on a date with friend of mine that i kinda like to club this friday and i felt anxiety in my body the whole night. we were talking and dancing the whole night, i knew she wanted me, but i just to scared to make the move. my mind was telling me about how i am gonna get rejected and she will laughed at me. oh my god i felt like a wussy for not being able to be a man and not caring anything. shes also my friend from salsa class that i joined a couple of months ago and i stopped because i certain reason.

currently i really dont like my social life at the moment. social life had been my biggest problem since i was a child. and up until now i thought that my only last chance is in AM11. if this thing doesnt work, i dont know what im gonna do with my social life. maybe i just get some ordinary girl and get a generic life like other wussy in this world and live miserably...

i hate my social life, i hate going out alone, i hate have to wait for another 4 months for AM11 to finished, i hate that im such a wussy, i hate it because im lonely, i hate that i never been able to hook up with a girl that i like, the girl of my choosing.

i just want to blame life at the moment, i know only wimp do that but i dont care. im done sitting at home and waiting for another 4 months for AM11 to help me solve my social life problem. im starting my cory skyy routine again for the next 6 months. i want result right away, and the only thing it will happened in short time is by doing cory's routine.

Hey, I can totally relate so don't feel like you're the only one here that feels like that because you're not. The only thing I can suggest is to PLEASE YOURSELF. Put yourself 1ST.
Cory's method definitely works but you must be consistent and committed to change (and don't doubt the affirmations...ever!). It will definitely happen.
And for kicks and grins, I'm writing a story that depicts me going back into time to my 9th grade year around Christmastime and giving myself the Cory MM program (!) and all hell breaks loose. It's my story and my imagination and I will put in the story whatever the hell I want to. And yes it's rated XXX . It's my life, that's all I got to say.
Just don't give up. Keep going.