day 48
Slept with sleepphones last night and had an strong lucid dream. I cant recall it fully but it was some sort of hostile take over involving high positioned people. I did disobey. the dream was filled with lots of symbolism, mockery and Insurance stuff, aswell as eating icecream and an blackcar on some offroad scenario.
Today was pretty busy in terms of changes. Lots came up and turned me pretty beta at work including all kind of avoidance behaviour. Guess it took an break before this could manifest, like some sort of over exposure to make it click. I simply don't care. I could let go more easy then before, or atleast, the significance inpact was clearly reduced since last time this happened although i still feel tension in my body. Fuck this past upbring and programming. Did make me look into AM 6.0 and did seriously consider it soon. Not going to overthink this or overanalyze it.
It clicked when i read that an dip in confidence is hinting towards resolving deep issues and changes.
It took 4 hours to resolve it and now I have an huge subconscious shift which shows big external changes. the girl behind the checkout loved prolonged eye contact and begun to explain how she had an long day and what not, forgot stuff in my presence. Other peoples eyes met and were instant smiles. people love it, this shift is great.
- My eye contact since the shift has also increased and prolonged. It caught me by suprise. Its endless almost now without having something behind it.
My attitude has changed, including cutting down crap instantly.
- overt responses from other people including the deer in the headlight.
- my caring to stuff has been reduced ( needyness? approval? ) and im less caring if people resapond. its normal now. questioning apologetic and explaining. Just no.
- dont hide sexuality. be blatantly projecting it in conversation. it makes some woman light up. ( they feel state )
- im more aggressive and hostile in my presence, less walk over and more trembling upon.
Right now the ultrasonic is playing and I feel the internal changes happening. I feel powerfull and outgoing.
- the responses are more clearly drawn towards me, such as attraction and people fuzzling over their words, making mistakes and all in my presence.
- way stronger sense of self, of being male, and my own reality.
- glimpse of reduction in care and just eject from it. like fine, dont care, bye. your annoying.
It doesnt matter in the end when having abundance mindset. for one girl 10 others are attracted to me. its this scarcity that i see in an friend of mine who just cant cut the ties. its unhealthy. making an woman your reality is unhealthy and causes dependence. I cant stand it, even not in myself. Today was an "in my head day"kind of day, with observed patterns aswell. Experience = experience = growth. It doesnt matter
Im thinking aswell as being in the presence of femininity causes growth in oneself in one way or another.
Im thinking about standards and get way more selective into what kind of woman i want to be with. My sexuality seem to have been hidden for long and I want it back. I more overtly am selecting. No porn anymore. Bring it in presence of woman instead. Nice experiment. Sometimes the sub make my standards go sky rocket causing lots to fall off. many have become "meh", not feeling it. Still wobbly. Planning to let the sub run its course. It has suprised me more then once and changed me for the better overal. Its great.
Edit: im thinking aswell as to how it is put in many heads that "the girl is an keeper" and the somehow lesser role of males. Its utter bullshit. Beggars are no choosers. Its an whole other ballgame. Its fine to set and have standards, even if it is very high. Its being content, putting yourself first. My guess its in my case stemming from there, from girls being somehow "special" and what not, having an untouchable status, putting me in an very dysfunctional position due loads of negative and crap programming. Its societal programming, an strong one that is but not something that cant be undone.
Slept with sleepphones last night and had an strong lucid dream. I cant recall it fully but it was some sort of hostile take over involving high positioned people. I did disobey. the dream was filled with lots of symbolism, mockery and Insurance stuff, aswell as eating icecream and an blackcar on some offroad scenario.
Today was pretty busy in terms of changes. Lots came up and turned me pretty beta at work including all kind of avoidance behaviour. Guess it took an break before this could manifest, like some sort of over exposure to make it click. I simply don't care. I could let go more easy then before, or atleast, the significance inpact was clearly reduced since last time this happened although i still feel tension in my body. Fuck this past upbring and programming. Did make me look into AM 6.0 and did seriously consider it soon. Not going to overthink this or overanalyze it.
It clicked when i read that an dip in confidence is hinting towards resolving deep issues and changes.
It took 4 hours to resolve it and now I have an huge subconscious shift which shows big external changes. the girl behind the checkout loved prolonged eye contact and begun to explain how she had an long day and what not, forgot stuff in my presence. Other peoples eyes met and were instant smiles. people love it, this shift is great.
- My eye contact since the shift has also increased and prolonged. It caught me by suprise. Its endless almost now without having something behind it.
My attitude has changed, including cutting down crap instantly.
- overt responses from other people including the deer in the headlight.
- my caring to stuff has been reduced ( needyness? approval? ) and im less caring if people resapond. its normal now. questioning apologetic and explaining. Just no.
- dont hide sexuality. be blatantly projecting it in conversation. it makes some woman light up. ( they feel state )
- im more aggressive and hostile in my presence, less walk over and more trembling upon.
Right now the ultrasonic is playing and I feel the internal changes happening. I feel powerfull and outgoing.
- the responses are more clearly drawn towards me, such as attraction and people fuzzling over their words, making mistakes and all in my presence.
- way stronger sense of self, of being male, and my own reality.
- glimpse of reduction in care and just eject from it. like fine, dont care, bye. your annoying.
It doesnt matter in the end when having abundance mindset. for one girl 10 others are attracted to me. its this scarcity that i see in an friend of mine who just cant cut the ties. its unhealthy. making an woman your reality is unhealthy and causes dependence. I cant stand it, even not in myself. Today was an "in my head day"kind of day, with observed patterns aswell. Experience = experience = growth. It doesnt matter
Im thinking aswell as being in the presence of femininity causes growth in oneself in one way or another.
Im thinking about standards and get way more selective into what kind of woman i want to be with. My sexuality seem to have been hidden for long and I want it back. I more overtly am selecting. No porn anymore. Bring it in presence of woman instead. Nice experiment. Sometimes the sub make my standards go sky rocket causing lots to fall off. many have become "meh", not feeling it. Still wobbly. Planning to let the sub run its course. It has suprised me more then once and changed me for the better overal. Its great.
Edit: im thinking aswell as to how it is put in many heads that "the girl is an keeper" and the somehow lesser role of males. Its utter bullshit. Beggars are no choosers. Its an whole other ballgame. Its fine to set and have standards, even if it is very high. Its being content, putting yourself first. My guess its in my case stemming from there, from girls being somehow "special" and what not, having an untouchable status, putting me in an very dysfunctional position due loads of negative and crap programming. Its societal programming, an strong one that is but not something that cant be undone.
