Day 11
This is interesting, its slowly working away at stuff. I've been more confrontational and also it seems I'm posting more again. Mostly I'm testing eye contact and maybe trusting myself a bit more. I've only been in a larger group once so far, and, yes, I was more confident and I got some smiles from the females, more than usual. Though I think I would've gotten those smiles before, but now I'm making a little more contact with people (eye contact, smiles and such). This is important progress, since eye/human contact usually varies from rock-solid when dealing with attractive women to very-beta in more "normal" situations.
I'm seeing a lot of fear and I've thinking a lot about ASC vs. O(GS)F. For example, yesterday I was at the post office waiting in a mixed group of people with a ticket, i.e. not in a queue but just a room full of people. So I'll end up "testing" if I can look at people until they look at me, whether I feel comfortable or uncomfortable holding it, and so on. So in practice I'm testing if the previous limitations/pain (fear) is still there. So a lot of ASC is actually about overcoming fear. But I think there is more to it. Maybe there are beliefs like "I shouldn't bother people", or "people are not interested in me, or what I have to say". A lot of this comes from my father, I think, who just liked me to be quiet. And then I think just the habit of acting the way I've always been acting is something that resist the change as well.
The rest of the post is about ASC vs. OGSF.
I don't know if I'll switch when O(GS)F 5G comes out, or if I'll go on with ASC. I think I can benefit from both greatly. Right now I think ASC would be more of short term solution, and that it'd be better to run OGSF for 6 months now and be done with it. I think I used to project a very confident outwards persona in terms of what I was able to do, but the confidence required to overcome the fears was based on external factors, such as hitting on girls with my PU buddies. Now that that confidence isn't so much present anymore, the fears are enough to keep me from even going out most of the time. So I fear that if I push through with ASC, I'll get there, but then the same thing will happen again sometimes in the future. Then again, sometimes I think OGSF won't have the positive programming and won't deal with those other obstacles to being confident I mentioned. E.g. a person who'd done 6 months of O(GS)F would appear very relaxed in a job interview, whereas a person who'd done ASC would appear very convincing. So the absolute self confidence is more than having no fear. But if there's a lot of fear, then maintaining high self confidence on top of that might a tiring and fragile thing = stress, having to go back to OGSF eventually. OF 4G seemed great; it was a mistake to switch to WM2. I though the gap between 4G and 5G to be more than it is. OF and ASC have clearly been more effective/fast-acting than the multi-stages.
Also, since OGSF is included in the multistages, I have a feeling it'll raise a lot of resistance if you have a lot of fear, so maybe being in such a state of resistance is not good for progress with the program overall. So clearing the GSF effectively beforehand would allow for less overall resistance during the multistages. Such a dilemma, I hate when I can't solve something properly! :D
This is interesting, its slowly working away at stuff. I've been more confrontational and also it seems I'm posting more again. Mostly I'm testing eye contact and maybe trusting myself a bit more. I've only been in a larger group once so far, and, yes, I was more confident and I got some smiles from the females, more than usual. Though I think I would've gotten those smiles before, but now I'm making a little more contact with people (eye contact, smiles and such). This is important progress, since eye/human contact usually varies from rock-solid when dealing with attractive women to very-beta in more "normal" situations.
I'm seeing a lot of fear and I've thinking a lot about ASC vs. O(GS)F. For example, yesterday I was at the post office waiting in a mixed group of people with a ticket, i.e. not in a queue but just a room full of people. So I'll end up "testing" if I can look at people until they look at me, whether I feel comfortable or uncomfortable holding it, and so on. So in practice I'm testing if the previous limitations/pain (fear) is still there. So a lot of ASC is actually about overcoming fear. But I think there is more to it. Maybe there are beliefs like "I shouldn't bother people", or "people are not interested in me, or what I have to say". A lot of this comes from my father, I think, who just liked me to be quiet. And then I think just the habit of acting the way I've always been acting is something that resist the change as well.
The rest of the post is about ASC vs. OGSF.
I don't know if I'll switch when O(GS)F 5G comes out, or if I'll go on with ASC. I think I can benefit from both greatly. Right now I think ASC would be more of short term solution, and that it'd be better to run OGSF for 6 months now and be done with it. I think I used to project a very confident outwards persona in terms of what I was able to do, but the confidence required to overcome the fears was based on external factors, such as hitting on girls with my PU buddies. Now that that confidence isn't so much present anymore, the fears are enough to keep me from even going out most of the time. So I fear that if I push through with ASC, I'll get there, but then the same thing will happen again sometimes in the future. Then again, sometimes I think OGSF won't have the positive programming and won't deal with those other obstacles to being confident I mentioned. E.g. a person who'd done 6 months of O(GS)F would appear very relaxed in a job interview, whereas a person who'd done ASC would appear very convincing. So the absolute self confidence is more than having no fear. But if there's a lot of fear, then maintaining high self confidence on top of that might a tiring and fragile thing = stress, having to go back to OGSF eventually. OF 4G seemed great; it was a mistake to switch to WM2. I though the gap between 4G and 5G to be more than it is. OF and ASC have clearly been more effective/fast-acting than the multi-stages.
Also, since OGSF is included in the multistages, I have a feeling it'll raise a lot of resistance if you have a lot of fear, so maybe being in such a state of resistance is not good for progress with the program overall. So clearing the GSF effectively beforehand would allow for less overall resistance during the multistages. Such a dilemma, I hate when I can't solve something properly! :D
Thoughts, opinions and beliefs subject to change without prior notice.
