MasterEnki: Positive Vibes - Part 1 - Healing My Heart (EPRHA)

[MasterEnki]

Will be starting EPRHA tomorrow (13 December 2014).

I won't have internet access for a few days, so I won't be updating until about next Tuesday / Wednesday.

I will reveal more details in a later post.

[in3deep]

All the best Master!

Seems you have moved on from DAOS

[MasterEnki]

Past Sub Usage (before EPRHA):

Attract Positive Energy 4G - 90 Days
Ultra Success 4G - 50 Days
Luck Magnifier 4G - 40 Days
Everything is Possible 4G - 40 Days
Winner's Mindset 4G - 40 Days
Ultra Success 4G - 40 Days
Develop Aura of Sexiness - 90 Days


Now on to EPRHA,


Day 14:

The main thing I'm noticing is a calm / peaceful feeling (Emotional Pain Relief?).

My sleep is normal / unaffected by 5G.

I'm getting about 10 - 12 hours of EPRHA and I'm not tired at all.

Even the first day / night of EPRHA (my first 5G), my sleep was normal - I didn't experience any tiredness, no extra sleep needed, etc.

I haven't noticed much towards Emotional Healing, Fear / Guilt / Shame Release, etc. at this point in time.

[MasterEnki]

Day 37:

I've had a few moments recently that Guilt / Shame is being released / overcome.

Fear / Anxiety is about the same as before EPRHA.

I also don't feel as needy as before with women.

I also have less motivation to post pointless stuff on Facebook with the intention of looking cool / being funny.


In other news:

My dad is in Intensive Care / hooked up on Life Support.

The hospital is saying they don't know what exactly happened.

I visited dad a few weeks ago, and he was doing fine. So it was something sudden / unexpected.

Dad's friend went to visit him just after dark (17/1/15), and noticed that the lights were off / door was looked.

Dad's friend ended up calling the police to help break in, so he could check on dad.

According to dad's friend, dad was found lying on the floor.

He got taken to hospital as quick as possible, but may have been lying on the floor for a few days before he was found (which really worries me).

Last I heard (about 12 hours ago), dad was alive, and the hospital is going to let him rest for a few more days with sedatives. Then they are going to try waken him slowly.


I've been really worried / depressed since finding out.

I haven't noticed any immediate / quick Emotional Pain Relief when using EPRHA since finding out about dad.


I'm going to continue with EPRHA for quite a while.

[I am a self helper]

Good luck with your dad. Definitely keep up with the EPHRA. It will help you get through this.[/size]

[iceman]

Hope your Dad makes a quick recovery.

[MasterEnki]

Day 51:

I have been reading alot lately (and have read alot in the past) that women are more interested in dating / sleeping with guys that insult them / are jerks to them.

After contemplation / consideration - I would rather live up to my standards of kindness / empowering others / caring / politeness, etc., even if I remain a virgin for the rest of my life.


Another thing I've noticed is that Hardcore Porn is becoming repulsive / making me feel sick / cringe,

I used to be able to watch stuff like Anal (for example) and be okay with it, now it just seems sick and messed up.

I still enjoy seeing pictures of naked women, as long as they are tasteful.

I am a self helper Wrote:
Good luck with your dad. Definitely keep up with the EPHRA. It will help you get through this.

iceman Wrote:
Hope your Dad makes a quick recovery.

Thanks for the goodwill, etc.

My dad is out of hospital, but needs assistance with walking, cooking, cleaning, and physical-related tasks.

He is getting Drop-in Support which should be good.

[Mystic Pymp]

Day 51:

I have been reading alot lately (and have read alot in the past) that women are more interested in dating / sleeping with guys that insult them / are jerks to them.

After contemplation / consideration - I would rather live up to my standards of kindness / empowering others / caring / politeness, etc., even if I remain a virgin for the rest of my life.

You just became my hero.

[AlphaMind]

Day 51:

I have been reading alot lately (and have read alot in the past) that women are more interested in dating / sleeping with guys that insult them / are jerks to them.

After contemplation / consideration - I would rather live up to my standards of kindness / empowering others / caring / politeness, etc., even if I remain a virgin for the rest of my life.

You just became my hero.

Repped. Only men with balls of steels can do this level of self-respect.

[jonathan4all]

3 billions girl Why u wanna die virgin. rather Favor them

[Benjamin]

I have been reading alot lately (and have read alot in the past) that women are more interested in dating / sleeping with guys that insult them / are jerks to them.

After contemplation / consideration - I would rather live up to my standards of kindness / empowering others / caring / politeness, etc., even if I remain a virgin for the rest of my life.

It 'sounds' admirable. But think about how much of that is actually being programmed to be too nice and using it as a rationalization.

I noticed something interesting, I did an exercise where I wrote down the actions and mindsets I thought of when I think of being 'an asshole'. And I noticed alot of them are things that I actually want to do or say but never did because I was scared to, guilty to express myself or whatever. There were like 2 things on the list that I would say could be attributed to someone who is a REAL, destructive asshole, the rest are just bullshit programming I had.

I just think of alot of this stuff as asshole behaviour because i'm so not used to it.. but most of the stuff I thought of is something a confident, masculine, healthy man would do... though not according to alot of society because of all the bullshit and attacking any sign of masculinity that is going on, stupid feminist crap etc..

In the end I want to balance it, not just be an asshole just for the sake of it.. but I think doing so for a while was something needed.

The problem is (even for me at the moment) is assuming you have to be either extreme. Why can't someone who puts himself first, stands up for himself, is confident etc also be positive, lift people up etc.. of course he can.

-Ben

[JackOfHearts]

Someone definition of "kindness / empowering others / caring / politeness" could be the definition of an asshole behavior for another guy and could be the definition of an alpha male for another one.

How do we know we are in the extreme or not. We compare to most people around us but if most people around us are beta males.

[Benjamin]

Yeah that's a good point. Even in different societies and countries it varies.

When I mentioned the extreme i'm going off my own experience and my own tendency and what I read into after reading the post. And also the 'general' consensus in our society.

-Ben

[MasterEnki]

Day 52:

AlphaMind Wrote:
Repped. Only men with balls of steels can do this level of self-respect

Thanks.

jonathan4all Wrote:
3 billions girl Why u wanna die virgin.

I don't.

I am interested in experiencing sex. Though I will only have it once I find a way to get women that is natural for me.

Benjamin Wrote:
It 'sounds' admirable. But think about how much of that is actually being programmed to be too nice and using it as a rationalization.

I noticed something interesting, I did an exercise where I wrote down the actions and mindsets I thought of when I think of being 'an asshole'. And I noticed alot of them are things that I actually want to do or say but never did because I was scared to, guilty to express myself or whatever. There were like 2 things on the list that I would say could be attributed to someone who is a REAL, destructive asshole, the rest are just ***** programming I had.

I just think of alot of this stuff as asshole behaviour because i'm so not used to it.. but most of the stuff I thought of is something a confident, masculine, healthy man would do... though not according to alot of society because of all the ***** and attacking any sign of masculinity that is going on, stupid feminist crap etc..

In the end I want to balance it, not just be an asshole just for the sake of it.. but I think doing so for a while was something needed.

The problem is (even for me at the moment) is assuming you have to be either extreme. Why can't someone who puts himself first, stands up for himself, is confident etc also be positive, lift people up etc.. of course he can.

Interesting Points.

Being independent, assertive, confident, positive, empowering to others... sounds like a great combination.

I agree, one can be Kind / Empowering / Caring / Polite, and still be Independent.


I'm compelled to develop what's natural for me when it comes to relating to others (especially women).

The whole cocky / badboy / jerk thing (that seems like common advice for PUA) feels really unnatural for me.

But I can appreciate that for others it is natural for them.


I've been following your journal,

It seems likely you are going through the whole re-defining boundaries thing.

The word 'asshole' reminded me of the old PUA advice about badboy / jerks, insulting women / putdowns towards women, etc.

maniac360 Wrote:
Someone definition of "kindness / empowering others / caring / politeness" could be the definition of an asshole behavior for another guy and could be the definition of an alpha male for another one.

How do we know we are in the extreme or not. We compare to most people around us but if most people around us are beta males.

Good point.

To me, those traits feel natural and empowering to me.

I'm pretty sure alot of people consider me fairly beta / weak for having those traits, but I'm sure some people consider them strengths.

My goal is to focus on what feels natural to me, despite what others think.