01-13-2016, 06:50 AM
Had to write this down just for the record as there seems to be an big shift happening in confidence and other areas in my life.
Im no longer going to test eye contact. that stuff is solid. ASC will cover that and will improve. i need to let it go and trust in the sub more. yes, I have strong tension in my body surfacing still, Im having actual flashbacks which stirs up anger.This anger seems to be supressed anger and an reliving of childhood emotions. I still notice how they interfere in everyday life. There is an shift going on in attitude towards limitations and I notice how this is familiar. Its when ASC kicks in and the confidence is stronger then the old programming. An get over with 0 outcome dependence. Self censoring is met with an view of futility and annoyance, an anger and impulse to get over with it.
ASC works strong on the spot. When i was out today at the grocery store I dominated, all that held back was directly dealt with instantly. social conversation went even more fluid. Its an idgaf attitude right in the zone.
My libido seems to be dead. It takes more to be actually aroused. perhaps its due some needyness being dealt with. Its just nothing right now except when I actually activate it and get aroused, then I want to escalate and it is very primal and dominant. Other then that, im getting really confident. Its waiting for an breakthrough and ASC taking full ground. pretty sweet. Im feeling important and radiate importance, its unshakable.
I cleaned up my home yesterday. It was absolutely needed. This discipline is really kicking in.
Old qualities are replaced with new ones. self assurance, self validating, power, control. My outlook is changing. No longer wanting validation nor acceptance.Im self-sufficent. Im way more capable of dealing. I would hesitate with posting and doubt would creep up. I have to post this right now. its absolute. I have an focus and pay attention closer instead of being scattered al over. I give attention.
Im the centre. I make eye contact with everyone. I dont care about the outcome. eyes meet, and thats about it.
I have vision. I have choice. I can choose to stand alone or to use social resource all around me. There is no gap. I do have instances of not feeling it and not being able to put myself to it, just out of sheer disinterest.
I have plans and this seem to become an reality. The feeling is strong and those plans may manifest soon. Its an process set into motion. I attract. I will look for jobs that suit me and I will succeed in this.
Progression plays an big part in my life now, time spending, potential and thinking about the human race in general, and how it evolves.
Today is an good day.
Im no longer going to test eye contact. that stuff is solid. ASC will cover that and will improve. i need to let it go and trust in the sub more. yes, I have strong tension in my body surfacing still, Im having actual flashbacks which stirs up anger.This anger seems to be supressed anger and an reliving of childhood emotions. I still notice how they interfere in everyday life. There is an shift going on in attitude towards limitations and I notice how this is familiar. Its when ASC kicks in and the confidence is stronger then the old programming. An get over with 0 outcome dependence. Self censoring is met with an view of futility and annoyance, an anger and impulse to get over with it.
ASC works strong on the spot. When i was out today at the grocery store I dominated, all that held back was directly dealt with instantly. social conversation went even more fluid. Its an idgaf attitude right in the zone.
My libido seems to be dead. It takes more to be actually aroused. perhaps its due some needyness being dealt with. Its just nothing right now except when I actually activate it and get aroused, then I want to escalate and it is very primal and dominant. Other then that, im getting really confident. Its waiting for an breakthrough and ASC taking full ground. pretty sweet. Im feeling important and radiate importance, its unshakable.
I cleaned up my home yesterday. It was absolutely needed. This discipline is really kicking in.
Old qualities are replaced with new ones. self assurance, self validating, power, control. My outlook is changing. No longer wanting validation nor acceptance.Im self-sufficent. Im way more capable of dealing. I would hesitate with posting and doubt would creep up. I have to post this right now. its absolute. I have an focus and pay attention closer instead of being scattered al over. I give attention.
Im the centre. I make eye contact with everyone. I dont care about the outcome. eyes meet, and thats about it.
I have vision. I have choice. I can choose to stand alone or to use social resource all around me. There is no gap. I do have instances of not feeling it and not being able to put myself to it, just out of sheer disinterest.
I have plans and this seem to become an reality. The feeling is strong and those plans may manifest soon. Its an process set into motion. I attract. I will look for jobs that suit me and I will succeed in this.
Progression plays an big part in my life now, time spending, potential and thinking about the human race in general, and how it evolves.
Today is an good day.
