01-13-2016, 12:35 AM
(01-12-2016, 10:28 AM)apollolux Wrote: You've reached the Anger stage of ASC: you feel like you're doing extra work to make up for other people's deficiencies and are angry that they aren't and therefore your external results don't jive with your expectations. It's very difficult to reach Acceptance on ASC (I'm still not there yet, but I have a mountain to climb there), but it is achievable.
The depression may or may not have always been there, but it's definitely amplified by the ASC. Look for a reliable support system to help you through it, don't go through it alone if you can help it. If I had one I'd feel much further along in NY progress.
I felt like an animal in an cage tbh, unable to express anything. Its like old programming keeping me in check, the outcome that I may offend someone. Its total irrational. I dont give an shit really. It seems only to surface the last couple of days and makes me wonder how deep this is ingrained as some sort of survival strategy. i dont need it anymore. the best moments where those in an state of total destruction of outcome where stuff loses its grip. yes it makes me very angry at everything aswell as feeling sad. Your post makes definitely sense.
