A Better Alex, stage 2: ASC Journal

[apollolux]

Had late lunch/early dinner with a female friend yesterday, conversation took an emotional turn (mostly about the "being alone" stuff I posted a bit earlier) and I broke down to her and later again by myself when texting with her afterwards.

The overwhelming emotion was from anger of "doing the work and continuing to only get negative results" and the fear that I'm "fundamentally flawed" and inherently "unlovable and unfckable." So, same old stuff, just amplified by recent events.

Also, today I woke up with an upset stomach and before I even have an opportunity to eat or drink anything proceed to nauseously vomit and wait for 2 hours before risking keeping liquids down. I'm pretty much convinced it's the current anti-depressant medication, so I'm done with that too.