mat422 alpha journal

[Jeff]

Glad it's not just me and others feel that way too. The good thing about it though is normally if I felt like this in the past I'd be really down on myself, but lately I've just been happier for no reason other than being alive and enjoying the simple things in life.

I have felt "out of place" almost my entire life. I think it's a matter of growing as a person, and being in the right location to resonate with the people around you. In my case, most of the people in my area are not in the same level of awareness I am. I have unfortunately been stuck living here ("here" being a part of the country that does not really resonate with me) all my life. The only times I ever felt like I was really "alive" were the times I was in Canada, Maine, Michigan and Washington State. In other words... a heck of a lot further North than where I lived all my life.

Sounds like you are growing and perhaps outgrowing the average awareness of the people where you live.

Yeah I know what you mean. This has definitely been a growing process over the years, but now with the subliminals I think I am growing at an even faster rate of awareness. I sometimes compare it to people still plugged into the matrix. I don't know, but I've never been "plugged in" and I always saw things differently than others. Then when you try to point it out it just goes right over their heads or they think you are weird. It's like some people are so controlled by the media and they don't even realize it. I actually feel that sometimes I live within a fabricated social construct and I'm operating independently of it.

The other thing is I've never been outside of America, so I've always been curious of how different it would make me feel. After the earthquake in Japan there was supposedly no looting which didn't really surprise me. If that happened in America, well I can't say for certain what would happen. But I think America has a very "every man for himself" mentality which leads to a lot of selfish behavior. I was ready to slap my brother upside his head, he said if he was in Japan he would be looting. It seems that moral and ethics aren't as ingrained in America as they are in Japan. Either that or the Yakuza makes damn sure nobody does something stupid like looting after an earthquake. But I'd like to think that the Japanese are really just that honorable.

I call being Neo. haha

The United States has a lot of issues that need to be eradicated for good. There are so many sides with opposing views, and our government has to go through so many checks to get a single thing done. Plus, America is BIG on not wanting to offend anybody. Several hot topics include: sex, divorce, religion, income, gays, race, gender, bullying, and even self-defense. High penalties are in order for the people who cross the line. Japan being one of my favorite countries, they all live by a set of ethics. They have been set and engrained into Japanese culture for so long. Stealing is similar to seeing a blue moon in Japan. But, I know what you mean.