11-04-2015, 03:42 PM
(11-03-2015, 07:42 AM)Hercules Wrote: I was reading through old posts and I saw this.
(08-23-2012, 12:29 PM)Shannon Wrote: Wow. With a mother like that, it's no wonder you're having a hard time.
There are two poles to all things, including motherhood. On the extreme of mothering-ness you have women who are too emotional, too clingy, too invested outside themselves (in their children) for their own self satisfaction, self worth, etc. These are the mothers who rush to the aid of their children when their children would be better served by that not happening. It's very bad for their daughters, but devastating for their sons. They destroy their sons through being too mothering, worrying too much, infecting their sons with guilt and shame and fear, all in an effort to keep them where they will feed the insecurities the mother has.
These families typically have a very weak, very emotional (and usually controlled by the mother), and/or non-present father figure. They tend to produce overweight children, and deeply neurotic ones as well in some cases. Daughters learn that to get what they want from a man, they should use guilt/shame/fear tactics, and turn into their mothers. Sons learn that they cannot express their natural masculinity without being "wrong" or "bad", and they suffer impeded personal growth, frustration, and sometimes depression. When the time comes for the kids to leave the nest, mom doesn't want that, so she uses every weapon in her arsenal to prevent it or minimize it, never understanding that she's destroying their lives in the process.
The solution? The children must understand the issues their mother has, and then recognize what she has done to affect them through those issues. They must them work on themselves to overcome those issues through personal strength and growth. They must overcome and throw away guilt, shame and fear. They must outgrow it, reject it, shed the effects, and then force their mother to deal with her fears through their own freedom. It can be done... I have seen it, and I have done it. My grandmother was like that, and my mother was trying hard to become her after she died.
It's no wonder, knowing that, that you don't cooperate with the weight loss program.
This is absolutely true. My mother had no father and is very clingy toward me to the point where she would try to make me angry just for me to talk to her. I suffered deeply from this and my mom used GSF all the time to control me.
Seeing all the ways that it affected me I am wondering if the mother archetype in me will be healed by using EPHRA and LTU.
Wow...
It's like he was talking to ME lmao...
Thankfully, I've done well to repair a lot of the garbage and recognise the behaviours she does etc. and since I've started subs things with her are a lot better. I can thank AM6 for that. It's too bad I've only stumbled into subs etc. when I was 33. So much time gone, but I can only look forward I guess.
If I did it, so can you, Hercules. Great old-school-Shannon-post-find lol, and great progress so far. EHPRA is an amazing sub, DON'T go off it prematurely like pretty much everyone does out of impatience. Stick it out the full 192 days and you should have a nice foundation to build on with subs from then on!
Good to see.
