03-04-2011, 05:11 PM
Hmm, something interesting changes going on inside me.
For one, I'm feeling the familiar knock of depression at my door. I was feeling this before I started the subs, and I believe that the subs are helping me deal with it better. Depression has always been a part of my life since I was 15, mainly because of insomnia and chronic fatigue. In the last week I've really been at my wits end with all of it, and even more frustrated that I seem to have a doctor who's isn't very aggressive in helping me figure out what the underlying causes are. No, instead they just want to throw Ambien or an antidepressant at me. Having done both over teh years, I can tell you that they really never get to the root of the problem and usually end up creating other problems.
I had a doc appointment today, and for the the first time ever they're going to check my ferritin levels, which are the iron stores in the body. Why just now, is my question? I also got a referral to go to a sleep clinic to see if I have sleep apnea (also my idea). I didn't mention any depression symptoms to her because I knew she'd just try to get me on a pill, and I know enough to work through it on my own and go about it in another way.
One of the things I think the subs are helping me with is not giving up on my health. Normally I just kinda let things slide after awhile when I'm not getting anywhere, but this time I've been motivated to speak up and push for what I need. Even when the doctor questioned me, I told her I wanted certain things checked on my blood test, like hormones and vitamin B levels, all areas that can cause fatigue, and she kinda disagreed that they're related but went along with it anyway. I felt good about that....I didn't let her talk me out of checking other areas that might be problem areas just because it doesn't fit under normal westernized medicine perceptions. I've seen enough naturalpaths and alternative doctors to know that there are many pieces to the puzzle, and you have to treat the body as a whole, not separate parts.
Anyway, I'm ranting, but that's what happened today. I'm also feeling less self conscious too and not guilty for speaking my mind. I also haven't been taking "no" for an answer and have a renewed sense of going after what I need to get answers I need.
Not feeling too "happy" yet, although I suspect I need to get more confidence basics down first before that will happen. I'm thinking of cutting back to just ASC instead of both that and Happiness & Joy.
For one, I'm feeling the familiar knock of depression at my door. I was feeling this before I started the subs, and I believe that the subs are helping me deal with it better. Depression has always been a part of my life since I was 15, mainly because of insomnia and chronic fatigue. In the last week I've really been at my wits end with all of it, and even more frustrated that I seem to have a doctor who's isn't very aggressive in helping me figure out what the underlying causes are. No, instead they just want to throw Ambien or an antidepressant at me. Having done both over teh years, I can tell you that they really never get to the root of the problem and usually end up creating other problems.
I had a doc appointment today, and for the the first time ever they're going to check my ferritin levels, which are the iron stores in the body. Why just now, is my question? I also got a referral to go to a sleep clinic to see if I have sleep apnea (also my idea). I didn't mention any depression symptoms to her because I knew she'd just try to get me on a pill, and I know enough to work through it on my own and go about it in another way.
One of the things I think the subs are helping me with is not giving up on my health. Normally I just kinda let things slide after awhile when I'm not getting anywhere, but this time I've been motivated to speak up and push for what I need. Even when the doctor questioned me, I told her I wanted certain things checked on my blood test, like hormones and vitamin B levels, all areas that can cause fatigue, and she kinda disagreed that they're related but went along with it anyway. I felt good about that....I didn't let her talk me out of checking other areas that might be problem areas just because it doesn't fit under normal westernized medicine perceptions. I've seen enough naturalpaths and alternative doctors to know that there are many pieces to the puzzle, and you have to treat the body as a whole, not separate parts.
Anyway, I'm ranting, but that's what happened today. I'm also feeling less self conscious too and not guilty for speaking my mind. I also haven't been taking "no" for an answer and have a renewed sense of going after what I need to get answers I need.
Not feeling too "happy" yet, although I suspect I need to get more confidence basics down first before that will happen. I'm thinking of cutting back to just ASC instead of both that and Happiness & Joy.
