RERUN 3 AM5

[aswase]

Stage 5, Day 21
Ive lost track of the time and havnt been able to focus lately.
Ive been party binging and neglecting my college work.
Its time to settle down, and refocus as I have been in prior stages.
Lately ive been completely comfortable with how I am outside and with doing a lot more than usual.
I still need to eat more.. And workout more... but Im definitely better than before.

A couple nights ago I had a dream about my best friend.
He was shot and lying on an operating table and I stood next to him. The doctors went in to fix him, and pulled out wires from his body.
He was a robot. But I wasnt scared. He described himself in such a way earlier this week.
I just wanted him to be "alive, and well."
Perhaps just because you cant understand something, doesnt mean you cant accept and love it.
When I was closed off in prior stages, I used to feel as though having an opinion about something, without foresight was stupid.. but in reality. Not having an opinion exposes you to not learning.
The faster you pick sides (although not crazy and hardcore immediately about something,) The more quickly people will inform you. The more interested they'll be in you.

Opinion----
I dont think ______ is good. It sounds like _______. me
I agree! (Information) (them)
I dont agree (Information) (them)

No opinion----
Idk. me
Think about it maybe then? (them)
Maybe. me
Okay then... (them)

Last night i dreamt of a cute blonde blue eyed girl who was obsessed with me, and was following me around when I was hanging out with another girl.
Her eyes look familiar. Think it might be this girl I was going to pick up... but got preoccupied with the group, and she went back to her dorm to use the bathroom.
She kept eyeing me from a distance every few steps; calling me with her eyes. In the moment, I didnt do anything.. She is still a future prospect though. She was cute, and kind of smart.

I got my second ever fwb a week or so ago```