02-22-2015, 07:39 PM
Wow Day 20 already!
Well, I missed I couple of days so I need to add 3 more days to that.
The resistance is just getting strange. I have been feeling lonely lately so I thought I would at least have some family time with my mom. Not even five minutes later and she is starting to get on my nerves. I did some shopping and people were getting on my nerves. I don't even know these people I don't feel like that should be happening. Even tried texting a friend and wanted to throw the phone at the wall.
I still feel alone but can't stand being around anyone. Am I going crazy?
I'm not saying the sub isn't working beause it still is........in its own wired way. Not only that but I really feel like the old me is back. Except for a few things like feeling depressed out my mind. However, all of my bad habits are back.
It's so weird because I still feel kind of alpha (urgh... there has got to be a better word to describe what I'm feeling.)
Oh and I forgot to post this but somewhere around stage 3 or 4 I was thinking that I sound move out the state to be free and away from my family because I thought that would automatically make me happy. It hit me hard like a brick that it wouldn't bring automatic happiness. I would still be the same person that I was sitting there thinking about moving away. Nothing would get automatically lifted. The depression all the emotions will still be there and I was just trying to run away from stuff that needed to get taken care of.
I know to some people that will sound like common sense but it wasn't common for me. Sigh..... can't believe I was doing it for that reason.
Well, I missed I couple of days so I need to add 3 more days to that.
The resistance is just getting strange. I have been feeling lonely lately so I thought I would at least have some family time with my mom. Not even five minutes later and she is starting to get on my nerves. I did some shopping and people were getting on my nerves. I don't even know these people I don't feel like that should be happening. Even tried texting a friend and wanted to throw the phone at the wall.
I still feel alone but can't stand being around anyone. Am I going crazy?
I'm not saying the sub isn't working beause it still is........in its own wired way. Not only that but I really feel like the old me is back. Except for a few things like feeling depressed out my mind. However, all of my bad habits are back.
It's so weird because I still feel kind of alpha (urgh... there has got to be a better word to describe what I'm feeling.)
Oh and I forgot to post this but somewhere around stage 3 or 4 I was thinking that I sound move out the state to be free and away from my family because I thought that would automatically make me happy. It hit me hard like a brick that it wouldn't bring automatic happiness. I would still be the same person that I was sitting there thinking about moving away. Nothing would get automatically lifted. The depression all the emotions will still be there and I was just trying to run away from stuff that needed to get taken care of.
I know to some people that will sound like common sense but it wasn't common for me. Sigh..... can't believe I was doing it for that reason.
