Ampers&d: The Year of the Alpha (Male 6.0)

[Ampersnd]

Stage 2, Day 6,

I'm surprised at how open minded I've gotten; when my preceptor for my internship is critiquing my stuff, I just take it, as I know she's coming from 3 dozen years of experience. I'm fresh out of college. Might as well push my ego out of the way.

Things are going smoothly, though my motivation is low regarding song writing. Haven't done it in the last week. This is a problem. This might be part of the Stage 2 'low motivation' stuff.

I had a profound realization today, which is that 'You don't HAVE to do ANYTHING!'
You don't HAVE to go to college, at least for the reasons you think you do.
You don't NEED a diploma.
You don't HAVE to get married
There's NOTHING that's forcing you to have kids
You don't NEED to follow any specific philosophy, even if you family or country espouse it.
You're NOT obligated to feel patriotism towards your country.

You could even go so far as to say:
You don't HAVE to pay your bills. Of course, there are consequences of failing to do that.
But then again,
You don't HAVE to stay alive. I do mean that; we come pre-packaged with a motivation to stay alive, but if you die, will you care? You'll be too dead to care.

Or even.. 'I don't HAVE to treat people equally'. I've by and large chosen to (based on merit), but there's no real moral obligation (operative word: real) that you HAVE to follow. You don't HAVE to do it just because others will strong-arm you into a particular way of thinking.

If seemed like a simple idea, until it ate at my brain for an hour or so. It goes really deep if you stick to the structure: "Do I HAVE to do this?" Or is it all an illusion; my mind attached to something.

Of course, I'm in school, and I'm choosing to stick to it until the end, but if it ended suddenly, it wouldn't take a chunk out of my identity. I'd soon get over that and move on.

This question is good for finding areas of your life in which you're attached to an outcome, because if the reality as that you don't really have to do anything (if you're willing to accept the natural consequences), and your mind is convinced that you need something, then it's obvious that you're attached.